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Understanding Men and Women
Transcript of Understanding Men and Women
Teens talk to Teens About Relationships and Sex PROBLEMS Relationships between men and women are not impossible or necessarily difficult. Problems simply arise when we expect or assume the opposite sex should think, feel or act the way we do. We must avoid trying to change others to suit our needs. WOMEN Same goal, but different approach and process. Sharing and discussing a problem presents an opportunity to explore, deepen or strengthen the relationship with the person they are talking with. More concerned about how problems are solved than merely solving the problem itself. Solving a problem can profoundly impact whether they feel closer and less alone or whether they feel distant and less connected. The process of solving a problem can strengthen or weaken a relationship. MEN Solving a problem presents an opportunity to demonstrate their competence, their strength of resolve, and their commitment to a relationship. How the problem is solved is not nearly as important as solving it effectively and in the best possible manner. Men have a tendency to dominate and to assume authority in a problem solving process. They are often distracted and do not attend well to the quality of the relationship while solving problems. WOMEN THINKING While men and women can reach similar conclusions and make similar decisions, the process they use can be quite different and in some cases can lead to entirely different outcomes. Tend to be intuitive global thinkers. Women come to understand and consider problems all at once. They take a broad or "collective" perspective, and they view elements in a task as interconnected and interdependent. Women are prone to become overwhelmed with complexities that "exist", or may exist, and may have difficulty separating their personal experience from problems. MEN Men tend to focus on one problem at a time or a limited number of problems at a time. They have an enhanced ability to separate themselves from problems and minimize the complexity that may exist. They take a linear or sequential perspective, and view elements in a task as less interconnected and more independent. Men are prone to minimize and fail to appreciate subtleties that can be crucial to successful solutions. WOMEN MEMORY MEN SENSITIVITY MEN Women have an enhanced ability to recall memories that have strong emotional components. Recall events or experiences that have similar emotions in common. Are very adept at recalling information, events or experiences in which there is a common emotional theme. Women tend to remember or be reminded of different "emotional memories" and content to some extent as part of their menstrual cycle. Men tend to recall events using strategies that rely on reconstructing the experience in terms of elements, tasks or activities that took place. Profound experiences that are associated with competition or physical activities are more easily recalled. WOMEN There appears to be a structural and chemical basis for observed memory differences. For instance, the hippocampus, the area in the brain primarily responsible for memory, reacts differently to testosterone in men and it reacts differently to changing levels of estrogen and progesterone in women. There is evidence to suggest that a great deal of the sensitivity that exists within men and women has a physiological basis. For example, changing estrogen and progesterone levels in women during menstrual cycles can produce a "flood" of memories as well as strong emotions. Increasing or high levels of testosterone can produce an emotional insensitivity, empathic block and increased indifference to the distress others. Men feel closer and validated through shared activities. Such activities include sports, competition, outdoor activities or sexual activities that are decidedly active and physical. Women, on the other hand, feel closer and validated through communication, dialogue and intimate sharing of experience, emotional content and personal perspectives. Many men tend to find such sharing and involvement uncomfortable, if not, overwhelming. Soooo... We need to accept our differences Compromise whenever possible. The idea that one gender can think and feel like the other if they truly love each other is rather absurd. it is important to be our self and to be accepted, and not to be the source of distress and disappointment in the lives of people we love. Physical
Sex is high priority Relational
Other priorities may be higher WOMEN Respect
Not to be put down NEEDS IN SEX MEN WOMEN Understanding
Time RELATIONSHIPS, WHAT WE ALL NEED 1. Security: sentirnos a salvo, libres de amenazas, humillacion y verguenza. Necesitamos saber que el otro no nos nos atacara, consumira o abandonara. 2. Validation: Aceptación incondicional de nuestros sentimientos, fantasías, por otra persona. Nos brinda un sentimiento de ser "normales" y aceptados por quien somos en realidad. 3. Acceptance by a stable, dependable, and protective person: necesitamos tener alguien en nuestras vidas en quien confiar y que cuide de nosotros. El grado en que alguien busque a otra persona en quien poner sus esperanzas, que sea confiable y consistente dependerá de que tan seguro se siente de si mism@ 4. Confirmation of a personal experience/someone who feels similar to us: es afirmante encontrar a alguien que comparte nuestra manera de ver el mundo, o que haya tenido experiencias parecidas a las nuetras. 6. The need to have an impact in other people: Se refiere a poder causar un efecto deseado en el otro. Esto nos hace sentir competentes. Poder influenciar a otros, atrayendo su atención e interes, y causando un cambio en sus emociones y comportamiento. El poder influenciar a otros nos hace sentir importantes. 5. Self-definition: en oposición a lo anterior, es nuestra necesidad de sentirnos unicos, fieles a nosotros mismos y poder demostrar quien somos realmente. Es la comunicación de nuestra identidad a través de la expresión de nuestros gustos, intereses e ideas sin que haya humillación o rechazo. 7. The need to give love: amor expresado por medio de gratitud silenciosa, afecto, o haciendo algo para el otro. Es importante que estos "obsequios" sean aceptados y bienvenidos, por lo menos en espíritu, aunque no sean lo mas indicado en el momento mas indicado para la otra persona. Let's look at a few things to consider What is the law? Consider the following: What is right? In different countries specific legal age depends upon many factors including the type of sexual activity and the age of the teenager’s sexual partner. What is normal? A family’s views on sex are likely to be derived not just from the law or norms of what other people do, but from their ethical or religious views. Values about sexuality vary considerably. What defines sexual readiness? Having a certain number of birthdays does not prepare anyone for safe and successful sexual experiences. it is our preparation for the ethical, psychological, social, and physical aspects of sex that determines our readiness. Two teenagers of the same age may have very different degrees of psycho-social maturity. They may also have different access to sexual health information. A rational basis for determining sexual readiness must therefore take multiple considerations into account. Having accurate and up-to-date information is an important prerequisite to becoming sexually active. Consideration #1: Knowledge of Disease and Pregnancy Prevention Consideration #3: Addressing Moral and Ethical Issues Consideration #4: Self-Esteem and Decision Making Responsible decisions about sex can only be consistently made if teenagers have the personal maturity to follow their own best thinking, in spite of what others may want them to do or what their body’s desire Consideration #8: Making Sense of Childhood Sexual Experiences Consideration #6: Ability to Handle Relationship Dynamics Consideration #2 Reflection of the impact of Pregnancy or Disease ‘What if your method of birth control fails?’ and ‘What if you are deceived by the information you get from a sexual partner?’ It is important to face the reality that sexual intercourse, for example, is never completely safe. ‘Is any level of risk worth taking at this point in my life?’ The decision to be sexual or not can have a profound affect on a teen’s sense of identity. It can force a choice between competing sets of values. Family, church, and peers may all try to influence teens. Only if a teenager is confident that their worth as a person is not based on whether they do or do not have sex, are they free to make their own decisions. Whatever you choose, you will be judged. What are my limits are around being sexual? What pressures might affect my resolve to stick to my own decisions? Consideration #5: Ability to Communicate Your Feelings If teens are not yet comfortable talking about sex, then they are unlikely to be able to insure that their sexual experiences will be consensual and mutually satisfying. Am I able to speak candidly with the person I would consider having sex with? How specific can I be about my needs and my limits? The intensity of these feelings is often dramatically increased, however, when sex is involved. How will I feel if my relationship changes after having had sex? Consideration #7: Knowledge of Sexual Anatomy and Functioning The many unrealistic myths about sex that are portrayed in the media often set up young people for disappointment and humiliation. Understanding how male and female bodies actually function is important background information for healthy sexual experiences. Unresolved experiences might influence our readiness for new sexual encounters. It might be helpful to talk about this with a counselor. This is it guys! Your last psy homework!:
I need you to work in groups of 5 and create a Glogster, where you give advice to teens about relationships and sex.
The Glogster should reflect your own points of view based on the all the theory you have learned about Adolescence (Freud and Erickson), The differences between men and women, and Sexuality. Be creative! Have fun!