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What's my Supervisory Love Language?

SEAHO 2014

Chris Futch

on 26 February 2014

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Transcript of What's my Supervisory Love Language?

Why Look at Supervision
Explanation of Languages
Limitations and Closing Thoughts
What's my Supervisory
Chris Futch
The University of Tampa
SEAHO 2014

Married Student Affairs Professionals
Long Term Relationships
Words of Affirmation
Giving Gifts
Quality Time
Physical Touch
Acts of Service
Think about a personal favorite supervisor of yours...
What was it about them?
What correlations do you see in what they did to benefit you and how you interact with your supervisees now?

Personal Reflection
10 Minute Assessment with 10 Scenarios

Initial reactions - 1 minute per scenario

What comes most naturally to you --> What comes least naturally to you

5 - Comes most naturally
1 - Comes least naturally
Assessing your Supervisory
Love Languages
1. A flood occurs in your building. Your staff responds well by comforting students afterwards, clearing the building and notifying the proper personnel. As a supervisor, you:

A.) Continuously praise their teamwork and intuition to them and to other staff

B.) Share with them how you’ve seen others respond to that situation as a way of connecting with them

C.) Leave a gift of thanks in their mailboxes

D.) Ask them to volunteer for RA Training sessions on Crisis Management

E.) Give them high marks on their evaluations in the Crisis Management category
2. An RA of yours put on a well-planned, highly educating program for their floor. The attendance at the program was low. As a supervisor, you:

A.) Per your expectations of your staff, remind him that building community is not all about attendance at programs

B.) Write an OTM for his program for Program Of The Month

C.) Open up with him about how this has happened before, even when you were an RA

D.) Affirm how well the RA planned the program. Encourage him to do the same for their next program

E.) Assign him to lead the next All-Hall Program
3. Your more timid RA confronts a large 8-person party that involved alcohol over the weekend. As a supervisor, you:

A.) Casually talk with her in a one-on-one about how she felt during the situation and how you can help her to confront future situations

B.) Take time to stop by her room to congratulate the RA on a successful policy violation confrontation

C.) Encourage her to share advice with other staff members who may be hesitant to confront situations

D.) Create and give out the “Captain Confrontation” award at the next staff meeting for her successful documentation of an intimidating situation

E.) Cite this situation during an evaluation meeting with the RA as an example of her growth in the position
4. Some of your staff members come to you to raise concerns about an RA who did not carry his weight when it came to planning a large-scale program. As a supervisor, you:

A.) Have them think about a time where they did not give their best to a project and encourage them to talk to the RA

B.) Introduce the “Team Player” award at a staff meeting where they recognize each other for their contributions to the team

C.) Meet with the struggling RA and remind him that he needs to be actively involved in group programming efforts

D.) Thank the staff for coming and telling you because you appreciate the information. Tell them what a great job they did

E.) Assign the RA, who reportedly did not carry his weight, to be the chair of the next large-scale program in the hopes of having him do better
5. You are the chair of a committee made up of staff and RAs. The attendance of the members has been inconsistent. As a supervisor, you:

A.) Send an e-mail to all the members that discusses how committee meetings are a part of their job responsibilities and detail your expectations for their attendance for the rest of the semester

B.) Encourage the members who do attend to have conversations with those who do not attend. The conversations would center around how productive and impactful the committee’s efforts could be

C.) Create a rewards system for those who do attend the meetings

D.) Assign more undesirable tasks to those who do not attend while giving those who do attend job responsibilities that match their skill set

E.) Talk to the staff members and let them know that their presence and the ideas that they bring make the committee more effective
6. A member of your staff has been consistently prompt in showing up to meetings and programs. She has met all committee deadlines, and goes out of her way to help out other staff members. As an supervisor, you:

A) Make an announcement at the next staff meeting congratulating the member for all of her hard work

B) Schedule a one-on-one with her in an effort to get to know her better and discuss her aspirations for the staff

C) Offer to write her a recommendation for a higher position

D) Recommend to your supervisor that she be put in charge of planning the next service project

E) Make her a basket of baked goods as a way of thanking her for her dedication to the organization
7. Two RAs are having a conflict, and have sought the help of the graduate assistant for the building. The GA does not know whose side to take, and comes to you (her supervisor) for advice. As her supervisor, you:

A) Remind the GA that one of his or her expectations is to remain unbiased during conflicts between RAs

B) Give her the freedom to address the situation in the form and style of her choosing

C) Have a conversation with her, and give her a small book on dealing with conflict as a gift

D) Verbally assure her that she will be able to address the issue professionally

E) Offer to go on a walk around campus with your GA to help calm her nerves regarding the situation
8. The professional staff members in your area have just put on a successful RA training. To recognize all of their hard work, you:

A) Encourage them to share this training with other offices (perhaps even lead these trainings)

B) Congratulate each of the members and tell them what a great job they did

C) Decide to hold a celebration at a local restaurant to celebrate their achievements

D) Make cupcakes for the next professional staff meeting

E) Give each member positive, written feedback on their HR performance
9. A new professional you directly supervie signed a contract with a vendor for an upcoming program without your consent or prior knowledge. After meeting with him, you both realize that signing the contract puts your area over budget for the year. In response to his actions, you:

A) Use this situation as a developmental opportunity to educate your supervisee about the legal and financial expectations that the position holds

B) Tell him that everything will be ok and state that you will help him work through this matter

C) Share with him a time when you made a big mistake and how you used it as an opportunity to grow

D) Give him the opportunity to call the vendor and try to renegotiate the contract

E) Make some chocolate chip cookies as a way of calming his nerves in anticipation of the meeting you’ll have with the him
10. The graduate student you supervise shoots you an email letting you know she failed her student development theory exam and is really bummed. You realize that she spent a good portion of the night before the exam advising a hall council program. As her supervisor, you:

A) Put a note in her box thanking her for her work and encouraging her to keep pushing through the challenges of the class

B) Meet with her to figure out how she can be involved with other aspects of hall council without necessarily being there for the nighttime commitments

C) Meet with her to explain how it is your expectation that her academics comes before her advising responsibilities

D) Stop by the study room she's at and encourage her that this will not be indicative of her performance in the class

E) Shoot her a text to see how she is feeling and see if she wants to get some coffee and talk about it
How to Score your Assessment

Supervisor or Mentoring Relationship?
First year or returning staff member?
Sink or swim?

Words of Affirmation
Entrusting more responsibility after a positive (or negative) result

Setting up a system for their success

Providing leadership opportunities

Increasing Responsibility
Tangible or Intangible?
Public or Private?
By you or By peers?

Translating common interests and experiences into growth

Based on Acts of Service

Seeing your teacher grocery shopping

Interesting combination?
This language breaks the barrier that you are “just their supervisor”
Support them inside and outside of the position

Common Interests / Being Human
Setting guidelines/expectations and evaluating how they did on them

Focus is on job performance

Evaluation should not be a surprise (struggle for some)

Expectations and Evaluations
What are your thoughts about your assessment results? Are the results what you expected?

Should you focus on your primary supervisory language(s) or shoud you focus on your least used supervisory language(s)?

What are some examples of times in which you've seen your love languages at work?

The way you supervise reflects the way you prefer to be supervised
The 5 Supervisory Love Languages
Words of Affirmation
Affirming staff through what you say (verbal encouragement)

Powerful communicators of love and belief in that individual
Encourage = “to inspire courage”

Schlossberg (1989) - Mattering
Increasing Responsibility
More responsibilities or larger responsibilities
Task-oriented or goal-oriented?
Same responsibility or different responsibility?
Are there positions available for this already?
Giving a well-deserved "pat on the back"

Understanding meaning in their work

Announcements, Emails, One-on-Ones

Creative ideas?

Common Interest / Being Human
Conversation or sheer presence?
Mutual interest or overcoming obstacles?
Growth based or knowledge based?
Expectations and Evaluations
Personal or professional?
Challenging or charging?
Using past or using future?
Situational Bias
Not a Diagnosis but Reflective Analysis
Positive vs. Negative Feedback
Departmental and Personal Resources
Department-Specific Values
Supervision is a lot like a relationship - you have to work at it!
Why Look at Supervision
We often don't think about it!

Lack of intentionality

Our supervisory style affects the way we interact with our staff
Closing Thoughts
How do you supervise someone who has a different supervisory language?
Stepping outside of your comfort zone
Knowing your boundaries
Fairness vs. Sameness
All languages have commonalities
Intentional, Relational, Meaningful
Why Look at Supervision
Each staff member may want or need to be supervised differently

Helps you determine what areas you may need to work on
Closing Thoughts
Asking for feedback on how students prefer to be supervised can give insight into how best to challenge and support those students (Sanford)
Tools and Resources
How I Like to be Recognized Sheets
Opposite Assessment
Personality Tests (e.g. True Colors)
Setting expectations
Feedback from previous supervisors
Add up totals in each column
Highest score means which comes most natural to you
Lowest score means which comes least natural to you
Words of Affirmation
Increasing Responsibility
Common Interest / Being Human
Expectations and Evaluations
Full transcript