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Relationship Violence

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by

James Raspallo

on 15 November 2016

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Transcript of Relationship Violence

Defining Caring Relationships
Identify the qualities that are most important to them in a dating relationship.
• Identify actions that are caring and supportive.
• Describe how they want to be treated by a dating partner.
• Describe how they want to treat a dating partner.
• Firmly believe they can and should choose how they will be treated in a dating relationship.
• Firmly believe they can and should choose how they will treat a dating partner.
Defining Dating Abuse
Identify harmful dating behaviors.
• Define physically and emotionally abusive behaviors.
• Identify physical and emotional abuse in complex interactions between a girlfriend and a boyfriend.
• Be more likely to identify abusive behaviors as abusive.
• Have an increased perception of their susceptibility to dating abuse.
• Be more likely to reject abuse as normal in dating relationships.
Why Do People Abuse?
Describe the controlling and manipulative functions of dating abuse.
• Identify abusive behaviors as abusive.
• Choose not to believe common misperceptions of why dating abuse happens.
• Choose to believe that dating abuse is a serious matter.
• Choose to believe that abuse is not the victim’s fault.
• Describe the serious short - and long-term consequences of abusive relationships.
• Identify the warning signs that a person is a victim or a perpetrator of abuse.
How to Help Friends
Describe the complexity of the decision to leave an abusive relationship and the many different opinions
that exist concerning when one should leave.
• Identify the difficulty and fear that a friend in an abusive relationship may have in reaching out for help.
• Describe the variety of ways to support a friend who is a victim of dating abuse.
• Describe the resources for teenagers in violent dating relationships.
• Seek help if they are victims or perpetrators of abuse in a dating relationship.
Helping Friends
Identify “red flags” that indicate that their friend might be a perpetrator or a victim of dating abuse.
• Feel more comfortable with the task of confronting a friend who is abusive in a dating relationship.
• Describe how to support a friend who is in an abusive relationship.
Overcoming Gender
Stereotypes
Know that people hold images of dating relationships and that they have specific images themselves.
• Describe how the images people hold influence their interactions in a dating relationship.
• Identify the harmful consequences of gender stereotyping.
• Explain the role that gender stereotyping plays in dating relationships.
Equal Power through
Communication
Describe eight communication skills for resolving conflict.
• Demonstrate the use of the eight Safe Dates communication skills.
• Describe some non-violent responses when a boyfriend or girlfriend does not communicate in a way
that is fair and equal.
How We Feel, How We Deal
Describe a greater variety of ways of expressing feelings or emotions.
• Choose to believe it is important to acknowledge and communicate their specific feelings.
• Identify situations that trigger their anger.
• Identify physiological and psychological cues that they are angry.
• Identify a variety of non-violent ways to respond to anger.
• Firmly believe there is a choice in how to respond to anger.
• Have an increased frequency of using non-violent responses to anger.
Dating Violence
Like domestic violence is...
A pattern if controlling behaviors

The behaviors will occur within a romantic relationship

Includes mental, physical, sexual, financial and verbal abuse

Occurs in hetero and homosexual relationships

Crosses all boundaries; race, socio-economic, education
Types Of Violence
Verbal
name calling, put downs, accusations blaming, lying
accuses you of cheating
threatens to kill you or commit suicide
says they are the only one that loves you
puts down family and friends
says everything that happens is your fault
tells you they are the only one that will ever love you
Types of Violence cont,
Emotional
shows jealousy
embarrassing you and humiliating you
controlling behaviors
keeps tabs on you using phone, email, and other tech
destroys property
keeps you from spending time with others
tries to control you when you are at work
stalking
Types of Violence Continued
Physical
hitting, slapping, biting, pushing, burning, trapping
hiding someone's keys so they can not leave
sabotaging your ability to leave
Types of Violence Continued

Sexual
force you to have sex against your will
rape
unwanted rough or violent sex
Not letting someone use birth control trying to use pregnancy as a way of trapping the victim
QUALITIES OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
1. EQUALITY - state of being equal, status, rights and opportunities
2. RESPECT - feeling of deep admiration because of abilities, qualities, and achievements
3. TRUST - belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone
4. FAIRNESS - making judgements free from discrimination
Qualities of a health relationship continued...
5. HONESTY - quality of being HONEST
6. SUPPORTIVE - providing encouragement or emotional help
7. LOYALTY - feeling of support or allegiance
8. responsibility -
When you are in a healthy relationship...
Maintain your individuality
Pursue your goals
Don't compromise your values (morals)
TEEN DATING AND RELATIONSHIP VIOLENCE
Unhealthy Relationships
In addition to NOT having the qualities we just talked about, there are additional warning signs
EXTREME jealousy
it is a sign of insecurity but abuser will say it is a sign of love
abuser will question the victim of flirting with others; having an affair
Abuser will be angry about time spent with others
calls and drops in unexpectedly
Controlling Behaviors
one partner rules the relationship and makes all decisions
checking up
time the victim to know their habits
question victim as to where they have been
control how the victim dresses, who they talk to, and where they go
Quick Involvement
abuser comes on strong early in the relationship
pressures victim for commitment
claims "Love at first sight"
Abuser is very often charming and romantic at the beginning of relationships
Unrealistic Expectations
abuser expect perfection
ISOLATION
keeps victim from family and friends
BLAMES OTHERS
does not take responsibility
blames others (victim)

Hypersensitivity
easily insulted
takes thing personal
blows things out of proportion
Cruelty to Animals and Children
punishes animals and is insensitive to animals
unfair expectations of children
Teases children till they cry


PLAYFUL use of force during sex
holding partner down
degrading
curses
pressure into having sex
ask/make victim do things they do not want to do

Rigid sex roles
rigid gender roles
sees women as inferior
sees man as "master of the castle"
Jekyll and Hyde
extreme mood swings

Past Battering
history of abuse with others partners and blames it on them

Financial
racking up credit card bills "trapping" the victim in the relationship
having the victim pay for everything
controlling finances; control over victim's money
Full transcript