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Love is Not Abuse (Part 2) - Teen Dating Abuse Prevention

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on 13 August 2015

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Transcript of Love is Not Abuse (Part 2) - Teen Dating Abuse Prevention

Love is not Abuse

Live Examples
What are some red flags in an unhealthy relationship?
Tips for Having a Healthy Relationship
Teens has experienced
digital abuse
1 in 4
teens in the U.S. reports abuse from a dating partner
1 in 3
Verbal Abuse
Emotional Abuse
Sexual Abuse
Physical Abuse
Someone physically hurting you. Even if someone only does it once or doesn't hurt that badly.
Any sexual behavior that is unwanted or interferes with the other person's right to say no.
Insulting and humiliating words, with the person showing abusive behaviors making fun of or ridiculing their partner.
Targets of teen dating violence were
times
more likely to be victimized in college
Person showing abusive behaviors takes control over their partner's life, often by manipulation.
lowered grades
low self-esteem
depression
self-doubt
substance abuse
suicidal thoughts, or death
Effects on Students
What can you do?
If you or someone you know are involved in an unhealthy relationship, please come see a counselor, social worker or psychologist.


Let's help
break
the cycle
Why We're Here Today:
Teen Dating Abuse Prevention
To learn how to have safe and healthy relationships
To learn how to identify abusive and controlling relationships in ourselves and others
To learn how to get help when in an abusive relationship or witnessing dating abuse
What Does a Healthy Relationship
Look Like?
Speak up:
If something is bothering you, it's best to talk about it instead of holding it in.

Respect your partner
:
Your partner's wishes and feelings have value. Mutual respect is essential in maintaining healthy relationships.

Compromise:
Disagreements are a natural part of healthy relationships, but it's important to try and solve conflicts in a fair and rational way.

Be supportive:

Offer reassurance and support to your partner. Also, let your partner know when you need their support.

Respect each other's privacy:

Just because you're in a relationship, doesn't mean you have to share everything and constantly be together. Healthy relationships require space
Support
Encouragement
Honesty
Kindness
Respect
Compassion
Compliments
No pressure
Open communication
Healthy Boundaries
Creating boundaries is a good way to keep your relationship healthy and secure

Boundaries are not meant to make you feel trapped

They're an expression of what makes you feel comfortable
Healthy boundaries shouldn't restrict your ability to:
Go out with your friends without your partner
Participate in activities and hobbies you like
Not have to share passwords, social media accounts or phone
Respect each other's individual likes and needs
What isn't a Healthy Relationship?
Based on
power
and
control
not
equality
and
respect
Why talk about teen dating abuse?
What is Dating
Abuse
?
Pattern of physically, sexually, digitally, and verbally and/or emotionally abusive behavior in a dating relationship
Intended to be Isolating and controlling
Effect that no place feels private, no place feels safe
It does NOT discriminate - It can
happen to anyone, anywhere.
Dating violence affects people of
every
gender, race/ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, and income
Where can you witness abuse?
demanding
jealousy
Isolation
Angry Outbursts
name-calling
Criticism
Put-downs
Swearing
Yelling and screaming
Digital Abuse
Who's Involved?
Affecting youth in every community across the nation
At home
At School
On the street
On the news
Entertainment
Dating abuse involves 3 key players
PERSON SHOWING ABUSIVE BEHAVIORS:
A person who physically, sexually, digitally, verbally or emotionally hurts or attempts to control an intimate partner
TARGET:
A person who is subjected to controlling behavior or hurt physically, sexually, digitally, verbally, or emotionally by an intimate partner
BYSTANDER:
A person who is aware or suspects that someone is being abused in a dating relationship; a person who witnesses behavior that enables or promotes dating abuse
Become an
UPSTANDER
Don't mind your own business
Put yourself in someone else's shoes
Do treat them like a friend
Don't neglect your personal safety
What would you say to someone who was harassing his or her partner to make them stop?
Hitting
Biting
Throwing things
Grabbing
Pushing
Kicking
Scratching
Use of technologies such as texting and social networking to bully, harass, stalk, or intimidate a partner
Excessive or unwanted
text messaging
Instant messaging
phone calls or emails
Sharing sexual or nude pictures
Accessing accounts and changing passwords
Posting nasty, false or abusive comments
threats
Coercion
Unwanted kissing/touching
forcing person to go further sexually than they want to go
Sending unwelcome sexual images
Sexual Harassment
Unwanted sexual behavior
May take different forms:
Physical contact
Sexual comments/gestures
Sexual propositions
Unwanted communication
Flirting

or
Over the line?
Flirting...
Over the line...
is welcome attention
is not wanted
Goes both ways
is one-sided
Makes you feel flattered
Makes you feel uncomfortable
Makes you feel in control
Makes you feel powerless
Consent
When it comes to sexual activity and sex, you have the right to decide
when
you do it,
where
you do it, and
how
you do it.
Anything other than
YES
, means
NO
Asking for permission/consent does not have to sound super formal.
Here are some suggestions to help you get started:
Would it be okay with you if...
Are you comfortable with this?
How do you feel about this?
Do you like this?
What are you comfortable with?
Call 911 if someone is hurting you or you are in immediate danger
Create a Safety Plan
Consider the following:
What adults can you tell about the violence and abuse?

Who at school can you tell in order to feel safe?

Which friends can you trust and who could you go to for help?

Some other resources:
Northwest Center Against Sexual Assault (CASA)

National Domestic Hotline
Text "loveis" to 22522

Click the live chat icon at www.loveisrespect.org
Let's
RECAP:
What is dating abuse?
Who's Involved?
What are the types of abuse?
Welcome back!
Pattern of physically, sexually, digitally, and verbally and/or emotionally abusive behavior in a dating relationship
Intended to be Isolating and controlling
Effect that no place feels private, no
place feels safe
PERSON SHOWING ABUSIVE BEHAVIORS
TARGET
BYSTANDER
UPSTANDER
EMOTIONAL ABUSE

VERBAL ABUSE

PHYSICAL ABUSE

DIGITAL ABUSE

SEXUAL ABUSE
What are some red flags for each?
Following up on how:
Please take out your chrome book or smart phone
1. Go to www.socrative.com

2. Click Student Login at the top

3. Type in the Room Name
Full transcript