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Transcript of Portfolio
I will when I'm off to collage. My grandfather was a really bad alcoholic and he would do terrible things to my grandmother, my father and his brothers. I know it has affected my father very strongly because when I was little I knew he would drink and do stupid stuff like drunk drive and cry all night and say pretty scary things to us. He stopped for a very long time but recently he did something to our family that I know he regrets. He started drinking again and he wont stop, he drinks when his life is really bad and he is depressed and when he doesn't know how to deal with it any other way. A couple years back I caught on to what my father did and how he dealt with his problems and I picked it up. I was very depressed and cutting myself and my big pain reliever was drinking. I wouldn't drink for fun with friends I would drink because I wanted to forget and numb myself to the pain I felt. It didn't help it only made me feel like shit and since 9th grade I've done it a few more times. The truth is that I don't really cry and let things out so easily unless it was really bad, but when I would drink all the anger would come out. I got the wake up call that I wanted to stop when my brother was going to start up with the same things i was going through. He looked/looks up to me now and then, and I don't want him to remember his older sister as the drunk girl who was never there for him. I want to set an example for him, be there for him like he has been there for me when I didn't have anyone to turn to. He is one of the main reasons why I decided to stop what I was doing. I stopped and I've been sober for about 3 years now and I want to keep it that way I don't want to disappoint anyone else, especially my brother. In art class i sketched out a few pocket watches that I wanted tattooed on me and of course me being disorganized like I am I lost the original sketch I wanted done. The day before I got the tattoo I quickly sketched out what I wanted done on me and I e-mailed Sheila, the lady at the front desk. The tattoo took a good 2 hours to finish, it wasn't too painful until the last 10 minutes. The last few minutes killed, I cried it was so painful. This is the last minute sketch I did for the idea of what I wanted my tattoo to be. THE FINAL PIECE
Two hours and a lot of tears later it was finally finished. I am 100% happy and in love with the out come. What does my tattoo mean? The tattoo has to do with two very big things in my life. My mother and alcohol. I explained that alcohol has played a big part in my family for many years. And as of now it happened in the past and it will stay there.The past is in the time and now i know i want to stay better and i want the future which is also time to be bright. I want to move past everything that has happened to me and leave what happened in the past. So in other very short words it means that in time i know things will get better. Now what this has to do with my mother is that she suffered A LOT from what she has had to deal with. She always said that we have to live for now and forget the past and only move forward and not to think about what people say. She grew up with people judging her and so have I. No one thinks I can make it, but i know i will and that's something i never want to forget. I will prove them wrong especially when it comes to school. I will be among one of the first kids in my family to graduate from high school and one of the first to go to collage and finish and make myself a professional one day. The tattoo means a few things and i know as long as i have it by myself to remember what i went through i hope to not forget and just keep looking at what the future has waiting for me and not give up. The outline of my tattoo took a good hour and a half but it was done with no tears. First smart goal:
I am going to start reading every night for at least 30 minutes every night right after work or school if I don't work that day. I want to do this for 3 months straight and finish reading 7 books if not more. When I finish a book I'm going to write a book review on a journal and keep it with me so my the end of the year i have a nice little notebook of all the books and i hope to fill it up and when I do I'm going to drop the book off at Whalens desk next year so he can read all about the amazing books I have read :) Second smart goal:
i would like to stay after with Mrs.Z on the days i don't have work. The only problem is that i work just about everyday so that wont work out to well. If that plan doesn't fallow through if Mrs. Z is okay with it I would like to stay after with her during lunch everyday to review what we did in class for 5 to 10 minutes. A few days before a test i would love to have lunch with her and review the material for the test. I hope this would help me improve in physics because i know this is the class I'm really struggling in. i would like to take baby steps and do this with her for a whole unit and see where it takes me from there. I would like to end the year with straight A's. One of the first teachers that I immediately liked was O.G, his class made me laugh and i would stay after with him sometimes until 4 studying and reviewing the work i had to catch up on. O.G made it clear and I learned pretty fast. I am so grateful to of known O.G. Mike Has to be the only math teacher that I have ever liked and the only math teacher that made me not completely dread going to his class. I have not failed math once since i came to aces and I find that amazing and I know my mom is very grateful for that I don't want to admit it but Whalen is a very excellent English teacher even though he doesn't ever know when to stop talking I actually do enjoy going to his class and writing poetry and learning to do our work on websites. Loni was also another great teacher that helped me a lot, she did challenge me on doing hard work and she was tough on me when I wanted to quit or be lazy. I was very proud of the work I did in her class and i never felt like that before. The end