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Girl Bullying

Relational Aggression: Breaking the B**** Culture
by

Alycia Nalbone

on 7 November 2012

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Transcript of Girl Bullying

Breaking the B**** Culture Girl Bullying Bullied Target Bully Upstander Bystander/ Every day 160,000 students stay home from school rather than face bullying
58% of students have stayed home from school to avoid being bullied
77% of students report being bullied in school
Bullying is most prevalent in grades 4-8 Nitty Gritty Numbers Target vs. Victim Definitions Teasing vs. Taunting Reporting vs. Telling/Snitching Anyone. Who is bullied? Boys vs. Girls Physical
Effects are immediate
Individual
Rarely a friend
Social recognition/visible Draws on social power
Effects can last longer
Multiple people
Often a friend
Silent/invisible When sexuality is used as a weapon by either sex, any bullying based on a person's sexuality or gender. Sexualized Bullying Flattery
Bribery
Status
Jealousy
Possessiveness
Insecurity
Accusations
Intimidation
Anger
Control Why don't they report? Embarrassed or ashamed Can't figure out why THEY are targeted Fear of retaliation Fear of disbelief Doubt anyone can help Doubt anyone WILL help 76% of teen girls think that online bullying is a problem and that laws should be stricter. Cyberbullying Teens feel lost without technology. Taking & sending nude/seminude pictures 1 out of 5 Sending sexed up text messages 4 out of 10 Sexually suggestive messages are being sent to
71% to boyfriend
21% to love interest
15% to someone who is only known online Use the term target rather than victim.
Inform parents of bullying definition and policy.
Have an easily accessible means to report.
Set a system in place for rapid response.
Provide a safe haven for them to recover.
Create a zero tolerance climate.
Set up restroom monitors.
Staff disperse and eat lunch with students.
Promote schoolwide character ed/antibullying program. What the school can do for the target: Encourage the students to report, explaining difference in reporting vs. snitching.
Role play responses to bullying situations.
Set up small groups for targets with social skills emphasis.
Model assertive communication.
Connect with positive support systems such as mentors.
Start a yoga or fitness group or book club.
Encourage involvement in anchor activities. What the counselor can do for the target: Communicate daily with your child about her day,
really listening to the message
Provide a safe, private place to talk.
Do not trivialize their problems by comparing
the problems to your own.
Assist your child in reporting the bullying behaviors to the school.
Check her Facebook and cellphone.
Teach her to block unwanted messages and copy, print, and save. What parents can do for the target: 67% of girls believe that they are not good enough or don't measure up in school performance and relationships

Age 8: when intentional meanness typically starts to occur

77% of teen girls watch reality television

60% of children who are bullies are more likely to have
criminal backgrounds by age 24

60% of bullying occurs under a teacher's nose

90% of teachers want antibullying curriculum across grade levels More Nitty Gritty Numbers Why do girls bully? Lack of skills to sort out problems in a positive manner using appropriate language. Socialized to not engage in open conflict and confrontation. Conducted under the radar because they do not want to get in trouble. Seeking to belong because social relationships are paramount. Frontal lobe develops faster in girls than in boys. Jill's Brain Serotonin dips in girls which leave girls more vulnerable to depression. Hardwired to bully? Bully: Brain is seeking dopamine. Target: Cortisol rises from bullying. Dopamine dips in boys which leads them to search for it in other places. Skits Apply It! Set up a school wide discipline system which emphasizes positive behavior.
Make parents allies by informing them early about bullying policies.
Involve parent and student in mandatory meetings or classes to improve student behavior.

Implement a system of restorative justice.
-Admit it, own it, and fix what was done.
-Restitution is more than saying "I'm sorry".
-Resolution..how to prevent another incident.

Do not embarrass the bully.
Establish a community service component. What the school can do for the bully: What the counselors can do for the bully: Check child's cellphone and social media outlets.
Take away cellphone if negative drama is discovered and allow use of cellphone if positive interactions with peers occur.
Model positive, healthy relationships with friends.
Know what your child is watching, listening to, and reading.
Discuss reality television with your child.
Teach THINK: Is it True, Helpful, Important, Necessary, Kind?
Give your child real, true examples of cyberbullying as well as consequences of misuse of technology.
Be explicit with non-negotiable expectations. What parents can do for the bully: Conduct groups or sorority circles that focus on relational aggression and building positive relationships.
Develop parent education sessions for dealing with bullies.
Set up a mentor program with the high school.
Seek to understand what is behind the bully behaviors.
Teach problem solving or conflict resolution skills.
Practice using assertive, positive communication skills.
Get high risk students off campus to expose them to opportunities in the community.
Teach empathy and how to repair and rebuild relationships. Even More Gritty Numbers In 77% of bullying events, no bystanders intervened.

25% of teachers see nothing wrong with what's going on and only 4% intervene.

The biggest fear of 41% of students is that they'll be teased or made fun of. Who are the bystanders/upstanders? Henchmen
Active supporters of bully
Passive supporters of bully
Disengaged onlooker

Potential witness
Active supporter or defender of target Fear of retaliation

Dread of snitch label

Lack of time to report it

Lack of knowledge of how to report Why don't they support the target? Create climate of being cool to stand up for targets.

Offer safe, anonymous method of reporting.

Develop a Peer Leadership Club.

Encourage random acts of kindness.

Support a schoolwide antibullying program that regards upstanders as heroes.

Have students write a poem or story from the viewpoints of the target, the bully, and the upstander.

Sponsor periodic Mix-it-up Days.

Celebrate and support diversity. What the school can do to help the bystander: Provide a safe and confidential haven for upstanders.
Teach bystanders how to help without putting themselves in harm's way.
Model effective strategies in teachable moments.
Video scenarios demonstrating how to be an upstander.
Incorporate empathy in guidance lessons. What the counselor can do to help the bystander: Encourage and celebrate when your child stands up for others.
Model healthy conflict resolution.
Communicate with school regarding incident reporting.
Teach your child that sitting back passively can implicate her as a bully supporter. What parents can do to help the bystander: Suicide rate has tripled in the last 10 years.

One suicide every half hour occurs due to bullying.

A student is bullied every 7 minutes.

There is a 50% increase in suicides attributed to bullying. Bullycide We cannot sit back and do nothing! References from Girl Bullying Conference in Atlanta, GA { June 28-June 30, 2012 } Dr. Michelle Anthony, Denver, CO
Dr. Andrea Bastiani Archibald, Psychologist Girl Scouts of America, New York, NY
Jibby Brown, Intervention/Gifted Specialist, Covington, KY
Joe Bruzzese, CEO Sprigeo, Goleta, CA
Barbara Coloroso, Author and International Speaker, Littleton, CO
Tonya Featherston, Founder Urban Education Services, Baltimore, MD
Jennifer Glickley, Principal, and Maria Moreano, Social Worker, Lake Villa, IL
Richard Guerry, Executive Director IROC2, Mount Laurel, NJ
Judge Judy Hatchett, Atlanta, GA
Heather Higgins, Dir. of Training and Development, Upside Down Organization, Baltimore, MD
Steph Jensen, Director Community Contracts Boys Town, Boys Town, NE
Dr. Gail Keller, Baltimore, MD
Dr. Meline Kevorkian
Haley Kilpatrick, Author, Founder Girl Talk, Atlanta, GA
Betty Maceo, School Counselor, Adjunct Professor, Sandusky, OH
Stephanie Plain Potter, Counselor, Sugar Land, TX
Catherine Roberts, Counselor, Hampton, GA
TaNikka Sheppard, Director of Life Development, Columbus, OH
Carolyn Strong, Dean of Students and Julie Burnett, Curriculum Coordinator, Chicago, IL
Lori Thompson and TrusTheatrEnsemble, Flint, MI
Todd Walts, President Campus Impact, Amherst, OH
Dr. Joan Williams, Montgomery, AL Bully Upstander Bystander/ Bully Prevention Programs www.girlsforachange.org
www.meangirlsarentcool.com
www.HERstory.com
www.campusimpactusa.org
www.thekarma.org
www.boxoutbullying.com
www.cybercitizen.org
www.boystown.org
www.awareity.com
www.jlinedancecrew.com
www.literacytolegacy.org
www.fathers.com/watchdogs
www.projectbullyfreezone.com
www.rachelschallenge.org
Real Talk 4 Girls (www.urbaneducationservices.com)
TrusTheatrEnsemble (www.thebullycideproject.com)
Competitive Edge Mentoring Program
It is Time to be Bully Free
The Amanda Network
P.E.A.R.L.S. Mentoring Program
HERstory
Girl Talk Jill's Brain Being the target of bullying: can damage the brain as much as child abuse increase the size of the amygdala & make it more active decrease the size of the hippocampus decrease the size of the frontal lobes & make it less active New students Debra Madaris Efird & Alycia Nalbone
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