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Healthcare & Duck-tape

My Modern Proposal

Megan Sisco

on 23 April 2010

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Transcript of Healthcare & Duck-tape

A Medical Proposal It is a sad state of affairs to walk down the streets of this great nation and look upon the multitudious faces of the sick and the dying. Never fret, my studious friends, for there is always a solution to any problem if we people were to look for a answer. My answer to the evergrowing populace of the sick is NOT to cure them, we've tried aiding our sickened companions, but the cure never lasts. Those ever sick people always catch new diseases. By keeping th immune defecient citizens of America alive, our economic situation has worsened. Instead of fighting for the lives of the mortals who, once better, will only proceed to get sick again, why can't we merely leave them to their own devices? Personally I've gotten sick of hearing about how "Obamacare" has ruined our nations fiscal pockets. Instead of the constant grumbling and bellyaching, people should be looking instead for a process to eliminate the problem altogether. For many days, I have agonized over how best to effeciently renovate America's healthcare. I have finally devised the best solution. My proposal is a simplistic answer to an otherwise problematic situation. Healthcare should be completely and irrevocably eliminated. If my proposal goes into effect, many of our nations' dilemmas, including fiscal problems, would be done away with. Not only should healthcare PLANS be erradicated, so too should hospitals and clinics be deemed obsolete. No more should the citizens of of this great nation waste our depleting money supply trying to stay healthy. America's coffers would no longer be emptied out due to medical research. There would be no need for new magical cures for off-the-wall diseases. Under my plan, our money would be spent on more important matters, such as the overcrowded prisons or the streets of the homeless. With the elimination of healthcare, our country would actually become healthier. There would be no sick people crowding the streets, forcing us to look upon their miserable conditions, making us fear for our own lives. AIDS and HIV would die out. Staph would be annihilated. Citizens with cancer wouldn't suffer through longs bouts of chemotherapy or radiation therapy. They would die with dignity, it wouldn't be long drawn out deaths. Not would they have to pay thousands to be rushed to the hospital in an ambulance. Hospitals wouldn't exist, and the need for medical vehicles would be gone. But don't be discouraged and believe that I am throwing everyone to the wolves. After all, I didn't take away every piece of medical equipment. Duck tape was invented in 1930 for use in the medical field. Surely if it was good enough for our ancestors, it shall be good enough for us. I estimate that three rolls of duck tape should be effecient for one family of four for the length of one year due to medical reasons. That, my dear colleagues, adds up to a measly $15 at the most. Under my plan, we would be trading hundreds or thousands of medical bills a year for under $20!!! I'm sure that you are skeptical about the use of duck tape to cure anything, but imagine this. A person with tourettes would no longer have to deal with the shrinks or the multiple pills. They would only have to wrap multiple layers of tape over your mouth and the lower portion of your jaw. Voila! No more random outbursts. It's true that duck tape won't fix everything, regrettably, For instance, were your arm cut off in a freak accident, taping the limb back on wouldn't help at all. Your best bet in this instance would be to staunch the blood and hope for the best. But your loss wouldn't be too terrible. After all, you have another arm. What's the loss of one extremity? You simply must see how much my plan would help the United States of America. Our nation would be a nation of bright, healthy, young people who wouldn't have to fear the spread of deadly communicable diseases. The New Face of America, A world without sick. VIDEO DISCLAIMER!!!
The video wasn't my genius, but this problem, these fears are being worried over daily. Not that Obama will personally kill us, but that his healthcare will destroy us.
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