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Sex, Lies & Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other ?

By: Shelby Fields

Shelby Fields

on 28 November 2012

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Transcript of Sex, Lies & Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other ?

By: Shelby Fields Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other ? How is this relevant in life? It is proven that nearly 50% of divorces occur from lack of communication.
The reasoning behind this is, men and women have very different interpretations of communication. Thesis Statement: I believe in most cases, women like to talk about their problems more than men. Women try to relate to others and express their emotions more often than men. Deborah Tannen's Perspective She believes that American men talk more in public situations than women, but they talk less at home. My point of view: I personally agree with everything the author states in this article. She also states that women and men have very different impressions of communication. Tannen states, "Intimacy is the fabric of relationships, and talk is the thread from which it is woven." (Tannen 101) She also says, "Men don't assume talk is the cement that binds a relationship, men don't know what kind of talk women want, and they don't miss it when it isn't there." (Tannen 102)
This statement helps support my thesis, women want to talk about problems, while men do not know exactly what to say to make women feel better. Women often tell men "You aren't listening", but 90% of the time men actually are listening. Tannen states:
"I found that at every age, the girls and women faced each other directly, their eyes anchored on each other's faces. At every age, the boys and men sat at angles to each other and looked elsewhere in the room, periodically glancing at each other. The tendency of men to face away can give women the impression they aren't listening even when they are." ( Tannen 102) "Men live in a hierarchical world, where talk maintains independence and status. They are constantly on guard to protect themselves from being put down and pushed around." Tanner makes very valid points that I think a man or woman could agree with. Whether it be on a personal or cultural level. I've had numerous experiences with trying to talk to a male and he doesn't look at me, yet he says he is listening.
Being a woman, I do think they aren't listening, just because they are not looking directly at me. I also agree with the author when she says, "Men have very different interpretations of communication."
Women want to talk things out, while most men just want to say what needs to be said and be done with it. If men and women could get some type of understanding how they perceive things, it would prevent many problems, failed marriages, and failed relationships in the future. This troubling topic is also seen in movies, plays, TV shows, and in our loved ones lives.

1. Tanner, Deborah. "Sex, Lies and Conversation." The McGraw-Hill Reader: Issues across the Disciplines. 11th ed. New York: McGraw-Hill, 2003. 100-04. Print.
2."The Advanced Student's Corner." : October 2010. N.p., n.d. Web. 28 Nov. 2012. <http://elrincondelavanzado.blogspot.com/2010_10_01_archive.html>.
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