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Transcript of Domestic Abuse
-They love the abuser and hopes that he (or she) will change.
-They can not support themselves on their own.
-They are isolated from others.
-They are embarrassed or ashamed.
-They do not know of the services.
-They believe the abuser will kill them if they leave. Domestic abuse (AKA Domestic violence) is the behaviour in which someone abuses their intimate partner or family member in a household. Domestic Abuse Most times it is the male who abuses the woman or child, but a few exceptions exist (Same sex couples, men with disabilities, etc). Domestic abuse occurs because the abuser wants to be in total control of his or her partner or family member. Abusers don't like to "play fair''. Domestic abuse can be either physical (Hitting or punching) or psychological (Yelling or insulting). Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear their partner (or child)
down and keep them under their own dominance. There are many ways to tell if someone is experiencing domestic abuse:
-If they feel afraid of their partner or family member.
-If they are scared to bring up certain topics with their partner or family member.
-If they are sick more often than the average person and/or try to hide bruises, scars, or cuts.
-If they appear sad, lonely, and/or distant from other people.
-If they are nervous when they are around their partner or family member. -On average, every six days a Canadian woman is killed by her intimate partner through means of domestic abuse. During the year of 2009, 67 women were murdered by a current or former spouse or boyfriend. -In Canada, rates of domestic violence have fallen over the past few years because of the rise of social equality and services established to help with the abuse; but women and children are now less likely to report being abused. -Approximately one child is killed in Canada every week at the hands of an abuser. Over 90% of child abuse cases are unreported. There are also many ways to tell if someone is abusing someone else:
- If they put their partner or child down.
-If they do all the talking for that person.
-If they check up on the person all the time.
-If they make decisions for that person.
-If they act like they own the other person. Why they don't seek help Famous Cases of Abuse Abuse can happen anywhere, even to certain celebrities: -Former president Bill Clinton had an abusive stepfather in his childhood. -Actress Halle Berry was physically abused by one her ex-boyfriends. -Singer Rihanna was beat up by Chris Brown in 2009. -Former Actor Phil Hartman and his wife had an abusive relationship. His wife eventually shot and killed him while he was sleeping. -Singer Tina Turner was abused, both physically and psychologically, countless by her husband. She left him after 16 years. Domestic abuse in Fried Green Tomatoes Domestic abuse is one of the many topics touched upon in the novel 'Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Shop Cafe'. In the novel, the character Frank Bennett is abusive towards women. He gets any woman he wants and leaves them after he is done with them. It is mentioned that when Frank was a child, he and his mother were abused by Frank's father. One day, Frank came home and found his mother, the only person he ever loved, dead along with his uncle. This is probably why Frank grew up to be such an abusive man. Domestic abuse in Fried Green Tomatoes (Continued) When Frank grows up, he becomes a heartless man who rapes and abuses women, similar to what his father did to his mother. One incident includes him getting a woman pregnant and threatening to kill her if she makes claims that he is the father. After Frank marries Ruth Jamison, he begins to abuse her as well. Some incidents include giving her black eyes, kicking her down the stairs, breaking her arm, and forcing her to have sex with him. Domestic abuse in the 1920's Domestic abuse on women and children in the 1920's was regarded as a private household issue, and people not involved would often ignore it. Women were expected to stay with their husband after marriage, no matter how he treated them, so they rarely got help in these situations. Organizations that help with abuse like today didn't exist back then, although some people did feel sympathy for whoever was being abused. Domestic abuse in Fried Green Tomatoes (continued) Because of these reasons, a woman leaving her husband, like Ruth did, was a very rare occurrence, and was even considered an inappropriate action. Ruth puts up with the abuse until her mother tells her to leave him and go somewhere safe. Ruth sends a letter (actually just a bible verse) to the Threadgoode's in Whistle stop which hints that she wants to leave Frank. Idgie, who is already aware of Ruth's abuse, comes to get her with a few men from Whistle stop almost immediately. Frank is not happy about this, and attempts to stop Ruth as she is leaving, but Big George threatens him with a knife and he lets them go, but not without spreading lies about what actually happened to Ruth. Ruth then returns to Whistle Stop and lives happily with the Threadgoode family for the rest of her life. This case had a happy ending, like some real cases of abuse do, but a lot of cases end badly, either because the woman or child abused was killed or they just never reported it. Who is most at risk? Domestic abuse occurs everywhere in the world, but some groups of people are more likely to be abused than others... -As mentioned before, Women or girls in general are more likely to be abused, especially by someone they know. -In Canada, studies have shown that Aboriginal women are eight times more likely to be killed by their intimate partner than a non-aboriginal woman. -Young women are especially at risk. 66% of all females abused are under 24, and 11% are under 11. -Women within the ages 15 to 24 are three times more likely to be killed by domestic homicide than any other group of women. How to help Often times the person abused will not leave on their own, and need help from friends, family, or peers. There are many ways to help someone in a situation like this: -Let them know that you are concerned about their safety. -Show them that you are aware of the situation they are in. -Listen to them, let them tell you at their own pace and don't rush them. -Don't judge them, don't criticize their decision to stay with the abuser, just listen. -Encourage them to seek help and/or leave the relationship, but don't command it. -Encourage them to join in more activities (clubs, teams, etc.) Services for Domestic abuse Over the last 40 years, many new services have been established with the intention of helping people that are abused... In Canada... Some services in Canada that help victims of domestic abuse include: -911 or local police (for emergencies). -The Assaulted women's helpline (1-866-863-0511) offers support, safety planning, advice, etc. for women dealing with abuse. -The Kids Help Phone (1-800-668-6868) offers children and youth with anonymous counselling, advice, and information. -The Children's aid society provides protection, counselling, and support to familes across Canada. -Ontario 211 provides female victims of domestic abuse with shelters across Ontario. Services for domestic abuse (continued) In Alabama... The following are services in Alabama that help people that are abused: -911 (emergencies) -The statewide hotline (1-800-650-6522) offers support and advice to all victims of domestic abuse. -The Child Protective Services offers support to children involved with abuse and/or neglect and administers the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC) which places these children in safe locations. -The Alabama 211 places female victims in safe shelters and offers support to them. Conclusion Domestic abuse is the behaviour in which someone abuses their relationship partner or family member, and although its happening slowly, the rates of abuse are decreasing. Thank you for listening to our presentation, now here is a quick commercial that advertises services for domestic abuse: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSe40tX-oTA References Websites our presentation used: http://www.alabamalegalhelp.org/issues/families-and-children/domestic-violence http://dhr.alabama.gov/services/Child_Protective_Services/Child_Protective_Services.aspx http://www.211connectsalabama.org/MatchList.aspx?c;;0;;;0;7973;Target%20Populations%20Served;Homeless;197;Domestic%20Violence%20Shelters http://www.women.gc.ca/violence/help-aide/ont-eng.html http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence http://www.canadianwomen.org/facts-about-violence http://www.weinbergerlawgroup.com/blog/newjersey-child-parenting-issues/10-celebrities-who-were-victims-of-domestic-violence/ -For male victims, male children and youth are the most likely to experience a form of abuse. Also common in homosexual relationships between two men. What is it? The reason for Domestic abuse How Domestic abuse is enforced It is also implied that many people in Valdosta are aware of Frank's abuse, and do not like him. Curtis Smoote, one of the men from Georgia who is investigating Frank's disappearance, even states that a lot of the town wouldn't miss him if he is dead.