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Journey to Sexual Purity
Transcript of Journey to Sexual Purity
Girl Meets Boundaries
Girl Meets Jesus
Girl Meets Accountability
The Journey to Sexual Purity
Girl Meets Sex Education
Girl Meets Boy
Girl Meets Success
For Teenage Girls
Girl Meets Herself
Girls Meets Dating
Girl Meets Temptation
Girl Meets Purity
Girl Meets Failure
This presentation is for youth ministry leaders of teenage girls, as well as mothers of teenage girls in the church. It is intended to teach them about the journey a girl takes in order to reach sexual purity. The desire is for youth leaders and mothers to be aware of and to learn the steps to take in order to walk thru this journey with a teenage girl who is striving and struggling to reach purity. It is also intended to let youth leaders and mothers know what things to discuss and educate teenage girls about in regards to obtaining sexual purity.
This lesson is broken down into eleven different steps which make up the journey a teenage girl goes on to come to a place of reaching sexual purity. Each step is intended to give the audience an understanding of its necessity and importance, as well as how it plays a part in the greater overall picture of sexual purity for a teenage girl. The twelve steps in the journey to sexual purity are as follows:
1. Girl Meets God
2. Girl Meets Herself
3. Girl Meets Accountability
4. Girl Meets Purity
5. Girl Meets Boundaries
6. Girl Meets Sex Education
7. Girl Meets Boy
8. Girl Meets Dating
9. Girl Meets Temptation
10. Girl Meets Success/Girl Meets Failure
11. Girl Meets Growth
At the core of every teenage girls journey to sexual purity is first meeting and encountering Jesus
Without an encounter with Jesus there is no sense of purity
It starts with girls falling in love with their creator and finding wholeness, satisfaction, and fulfillment in his love
It begins with a simple understanding of John 3:16 in that God so loved "the girl" that He sent His only Son for her that she may have everlasting life
From there it translates into that girl stepping into a relationship with Jesus
Shannon Ethridge, author of Every Young Women's Battle, describes this stage as a young girl realizing that Christ is her groom and she is His bride and how Jesus longs for us to acknowledge Him, to introduce Him to our friends, to withdraw to be alone with Him, to cling to Him for our identity, to gaze longingly into His eyes, to love Him with all our heart and soul.
After the girl meets Jesus, she must then meet herself as defined by Jesus
Teen girls that have a negative view of themselves are four times more likely to take part in activities with boys that they have ended up regretting later; therefore this step is crucial for teenage girls in order for them to journey on towards reaching sexual purity
The first part of a girl meeting herself is recognizing that she is God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus (Ephesians 2:10)
The second part of a girl meeting herself is discovering that real beauty comes from the inner self and from a gentle and quiet spirit, not from outward appearances (1 Peter 3:3-4)
For a teenage girl, establishing her identity in Christ is at the core of sexual purity
Accountability is vital for a girl's journey to sexual purity in two ways
The first way is that accountability is important and necessary to nurture the two previous steps: a girl's relationship with God and herself
The second way is that accountability is also necessary in order to help a girl hold true to the boundaries she makes regarding sexual purity
Every teenage girl should have accountability in the form of a mentor or leader who is older than she; those who are viewing this presentation this is most likely who you are or should be to them!
Each girl should also have accountability in a friend of her own
One of the myths among teenage girls is that there is nobody who understands their struggle which makes this step very vital in their journey to sexual purity
Once a girl has met Jesus, herself, and accountability, she then meets the idea and concept of purity
A girl developing her own concept of purity is at the core of her journey
With knowing Jesus and being involved in the church, she will be introduced to the biblical view on sexual purity and sexual immortality and will be taught the concept that God does not call us to live impure lives, but rather to live holy lives (1 Thessalonians 4:7)
The basic concept a teenage girl will develop on purity will be related in physical means
However, one of the most important concepts for a teenage girl to grasp in this step is that purity is not just about touching. It's about your mind and your heart. It concerns your whole lifestyle. The more purely you think, the more purely you will act.
Purity is connected to Luke 10:27, loving God with all you heart, soul, MIND, and strength
It is important for a girl to establish of concept of both physical and emotional purity
Once a girl has a knowledge of what purity is, she then meets the concept of establishing boundaries
Teenage girls being the ones who set the sexual boundaries in a dating relationship is a growing trend; which is why encountering and conquering this step becomes so important in step seven, Girl Meets Dating
Every teenage girls needs to establish two types of healthy boundaries: physical and emotional
Once a girl establishes her boundaries, she should write them down
12 Steps of Intimacy
Below are Desmond Morris' twelve steps of intimacy which can serve as a great guideline in order to help a teenage girl establish her boundary line.
1. Eye to Body
2. Eye to Eye
3. Voice to Voice
4. Hand to Hand
5. Hand to Shoulder
6. Hand to Waist
7. Face to Face
8. Hand to Head
9. Hand to Body
10. Mouth to Breast
11. Touching Below the Waist
A healthy stopping point or boundary for the teenage girl is subjective to their belief and convictions, however as leaders and parents a good place to encourage a girl's boundary place to be is anywhere between steps 4-6.
The practical application for this presentation is for leaders and mothers to be able to relate a teenage girl's sexual purity journey to that of a tree. This presentation is outlined in the form of a tree to convey how the different steps each have their own place and purpose to the format of a tree. Girl Meets Jesus and Girl Meets Herself are at the foundation of the tree as its roots because they are what keeps the girl grounded and together. Girl Meets Accountability is the nurture or what gives water to the roots, as accountability is what nurtures and grows the girls relationship with God and herself. Girl Meets Purity and Girl Meets Boundaries is the trunk or core of the tree as these two things are what hold up and establish the girl's purity. Girl Meets Sex Education, Girl Meets Boy, Girl Meets Dating, Girl Meets Temptation, Girl Meets Success/Failure and Girl Meets Growth are the branches and leaves of the tree as they are the produced result, fruit, and outcome of the core, nurture, and foundation.
Clark, J., & Clark, J. (2001). He's Hot She's Hot: What to Look for in the Opposite Sex. Colorado Springs, CO: Waterbrook Press.
Clark, J. (2000). I Gave Dating a Chance. Colorado Springs, CO: Waterbrook Press.
Do Something.Org. (2009). 11 Facts About Teens and Self Esteem. Retrieved from http://www.dosomething.org/tipsandtools/11-facts-about-teens-and-self-esteem
Eldredge, J., & Eldredge, S. (2005). Captivating. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson Inc.
Ethridge, S., & Arterburn, S. (2004). Every Young Woman's Battle: Guiding Your Mind, Heart, & Body in a Sex Saturated World. Colorado Springs, CO: Waterbrook Press.
Holy Bible New International Version. (1974, 1978, 1984). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing
Ogletree, K. Setting Sexual Boundaries. CWK Network Inc.
Valinda Harlan (personal communication, April 2013). 12 Steps of Intimacy.
Winner, L., Wilson, D., Holland, R., Lindvall, J., Clark, J., & Clark, J. (2005). 5 Paths to the Love of Your Life. Colorado Springs, CO: THINK NavPress.
Winner, L. (2005). Real Sex: The Naked Truth About Chastity. Grand Rapids, MI: Brazos Press.
Once a girl has established her view of purity and set her boundaries, she meets sex education aka the reality of sex
It is important to not just only present the concept of purity to teenage girls who are striving for it, but you need to also educate girls on the realities of sex
Girls need to know sexual intercourse for what it is, the involvement of penetration of the vagina by the penis
Girls also need to know the concepts of oral and anal sex
Girls need to be educated on sexually transmitted diseases
Girls need to be educated on masturbation
Girls also need to be educated on methods of protection
Sex is real and it is out there. As awkward and non trivial as discussing these topics may seem, they are crucial. We cannot expect teenage girls to be pure when they are not aware of the fight they are up against and what exactly it is they are fighting. More often then not one of the reasons girls fail at obtaining sexual purity is because they were not educated on sex before being placed in the situation of temptation and curiosity. TALK. TALK. TALK. and EDUCATE. EDUCATE. EDUCATE. your teenage girls on the realities of sex.
This step is where the journey to sexual purity peaks, when the girl meets the boy
This step is bound to take place many different times throughout a teenage girls life, with many different boys
This stage is simply where the girl meets a specific boy whom she becomes interested in beyond a plain friendship
A girl's journey may then take the next step of dating, or in some cases it may skip straight to the temptation stage
In either case this step is the mile maker in her journey to sexual purity
Once the girl meets the boy, she then meets the decision of dating
Teenage girls typically begin dating around the ages of 12 or 13 although most parents prefer not to let their teenage girls begin dating until the age of 16, some even 17 or 18
No matter their age, when a girl finds a boy she likes she will most likely make the decision to begin some form of a dating relationship with him
Upon meeting the boy, the girl make take a few days, weeks, or even months to begin the dating process
Girl meeting temptation is the anticipated and most often times scariest step of the teenage girls journey to sexual purity
It is in this stage where the girl is faced with the temptation of engaging in sexual activity with the boy she is dating or choosing to remain pure
The decision the girl makes in this moment will be based widely on the completion of the following steps up until this point
Depending upon which steps were accomplished well and which ones may not have been, will help to determine the difficulty of the girl's decision as well as her susceptibility to failing or succeeding
It is understood in this step how important each and every step before this is in its own, unique, purposeful way
If a girl chooses to remain pure and does not succumb to temptation, then she has reached the step of girl meets success and has placed herself on a smooth path moving forward
If a girl chooses to give in to temptation and engage in sexual activity, then she has reached the step of girl meets failure and has simply hit a bump in the road on her journey forward to sexual purity
Girl Meets Growth
The final step of girl meets growth is very important in the girls overall journey to sexual purity
If the girl reached the step of meeting success, then this step is a time for her to grow and become strengthened in her choice to choose purity
If the girl reached the step of meeting failure, then this step is for her to rewind and begin back at the very first step of once again meeting Jesus; this also becomes a time for her to learn from the decision she made and to establish ways to not make that decision again
It is important to emphasize that if a girl reaches the step of failure that they have not failed for eternity and that they can try again
Accountability and mentor ship is a necessity for girls who reach the step of failure
Most girls will fail; however it is the job of the leader and parent to teach the grace and mercy of Christ during that time
The most important thing to remember is that, in the end, whether the girl reaches success or failure this journey of sexual purity always starts itself over after this step is completed
The journey to sexual purity is a continuous cycle of a girl meeting Jesus, herself, accountability, purity, boundaries, sex education, boys, dating, temptation, success or failure, and growth and this journey will last and repeat itself throughout the girl's entire lifetime