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HABIT 4: THINK WIN-WIN
Transcript of HABIT 4: THINK WIN-WIN
Mod 7 Erik Ferguson
Lauren Hudson Life Is an All-You-Can-Eat Buffet "What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?" GEORGE ELIOT, AUTHOR Win-Lose:
The Totem Pole Lose-Win:
The Doormat Lose-Lose:
The Downward Spiral Win-Win:
The All-You-Can-Eat Buffet Using other people, emotionally or physically, for your own selfish purposes.
Trying to get ahead at the expense of another.
Spreading rumors about someone else.
Always insisting on getting your way without concerning yourself with the feelings of others.
Becoming jealous and envious when something good happens to someone close to you.
We have been trained to think Win-Lose from a very young age.
Competition and winning become everything. Having a Win-Lose mindset typically backfires. You may end up on the top of the totem pole; however, you will be there alone and without friends. Thinking Lose-Win is a sign of weakness.
You set low expectations and compromise your standards.
Giving into peer pressure is Lose-Win. You should not adopt Lose-Win as an attitude towards life.
Hiding your feelings inside and thinking Lose-Win is not healthy.
Abusive relationships are a sign of thinking Lose-Win. "If I'm going down, you're going down with me." Lose-Lose is what happens when two Win-Lose people interact.
If both people want to win at all costs, both end up losing. Lose-Lose also occurs when someone beomes obsessed with another person in a negative way. Becoming emotionally glued and codependent is a sign of a Lose-Lose relationship.
This dependency brings out the worst in people. "Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more than the next man... it is the comparison that makes you proud, the pleasure of being above the rest." "Have your way with me. Wipe your feet on me. Everyone else does." Thinking Win-Win is the belief that everyone can win.
You care about other people and want them to succeed, but you care about yourself as well.
Win-Win always creates more. Signs of thinking Win-Win include:
Sharing praise and recognition with those who deserve it.
Not developing a "superiority complex"- that is, treating everyone the same.
Being genuinely happy for others when they succeed. Win the Private Victory First Avoid the "Tumor Twins" Competing Comparing The Benefits of Thinking Win-Win If you are insecure, it is difficult to think Win-Win, since you will feel threatened by other people.
Insecure people get jealous very easily, which makes thinking Win-Win a challenge.
Personal security and confidence are the necessary foundation for thinking Win-Win. Though competition can be healthy, it can also be destructive.
Competition is healthy when you compete against yourself, and strive to become your best.
It is unhealthy when you tie self-worth into winning and you use it to place yourself above another. The two worst traits an athlete can have are a fear of failure and an inordinate desire to win. Everyone is on a different social, mental, and physical schedule. It makes no sense to compare yourself to another, different person. Life is like an obstacle course- each person has their own individual set of obstacles to overcome. A Win-Win attitude is contagious.
It can cause a group to accomplish more.
The Win-Win attitude can be applied to any situation.
No Deal Sometimes, it's impossible to find a Win-Win solution.
In these situations, don't settle for Win-Lose, Lose-Lose, or Lose-Win. Instead, go for Win-Win or No Deal.
If you can't find a solution that works for both of you, take the No Deal path.
No Deal is a smarter decision than taking a Win-Lose, Lose-Win, or Lose-Lose agreement Signs of Thinking Win-Lose