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Emotional Intelligence

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Polly White

on 5 November 2012

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Transcript of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence 7 vital traits/skills Survey results Four primary reasons why managers and executives derail Center for
Creative Leadership An array of non-cognitive capabilities, competencies, and skills that influence one’s ability to succeed in coping with environmental demands and pressures What is emotional intelligence? Why is this important? Have you ever worked
with someone who … Time for A
Fun Assessment! You're on an airplane that suddenly hits extremely bad turbulence and begins rocking from side to side. What do you do?

a. Continue to read your book or magazine, or watch the movie, paying little attention to the turbulence.
b. Become vigilant for an emergency, carefully monitoring the stewardesses and reading the emergency instructions card.
c. A little of both a and b.
d. Not sure -- never noticed. Question 1 You've taken a group of 4-year-olds to the park, and one of them starts crying because the others won't play with her. What do you do?

a. Stay out of it -- let the kids deal with it on their own.
b. Talk to her and help her figure out ways to get the other kids to play with her.
c. Tell her in a kind voice not to cry.
d. Try to distract the crying girl by showing her some other things she could play with.
  Question 2 3. Assume you're a college student who had hoped to get an A in a course, but you have just found out you got a C- on the midterm. What do you do?

a. Sketch out a specific plan for ways to improve your grade and resolve to follow through on your plans.
b. Resolve to do better in the future.
c. Tell yourself it really doesn't matter much how you do in the course, and concentrate instead on other classes where your grades are higher.
d. Go to see the professor and try to talk her into giving you a better grade.
  Question 3 Imagine you're an insurance salesman calling prospective clients. Fifteen people in a row have hung up on you, and you're getting discouraged. What do you do?

a. Call it a day and hope you have better luck tomorrow.
b. Assess qualities in yourself that may be undermining your ability to make a sale.
c. Try something new in the next call, and keep plugging away.
d. Consider another line of work.
  Question 4 You and your life partner have gotten into an argument that has escalated into a shouting match; you're both upset and, in the heat of anger, making personal attacks you don't really mean. What's the best thing to do?

a. Take a 20-minute break and then continue the discussion.
b. Just stop the argument -- go silent, no matter what your partner says.
c. Say you're sorry and ask your partner to apologize, too.
d. Stop for a moment, collect your thoughts, and then state your side of the case as precisely as you can. Question 7 You've been assigned to head a new working team that is trying to come up with a creative solution to a nagging problem at work. What's the first thing you do?

a. Draw up an agenda and allot time for discussion of each item so you make best use of your time together.
b. Have people take the time to get to know each other better.
c. Begin by asking each person for ideas about how to solve the problem, while the ideas are fresh.
d. Start out with a brainstorming session, encouraging everyone to say whatever comes to mind, no matter how wild. Question 8 Your 3-year-old son is extremely timid, and has been hypersensitive about -- and a bit fearful of -- new places and people virtually since he was born. What do you do?

a. Accept that he has a shy temperament and think of ways to shelter him from situations that would upset him.
b. Take him to a child psychiatrist for help.
c. Purposely expose him to a lot of new people and places so he can get over his fear.
d. Engineer an ongoing series of challenging but manageable experiences that will teach him he can handle new people and places. Question 9 10. For years you've been wanting to get back to learning to play a musical instrument you tried in childhood, and now, just for fun, you've finally gotten around to starting. You want to make the most effective use of your time. What do you do?

a. Hold yourself to a strict practice time each day.
b. Choose pieces that stretch your abilities a bit.
c. Practice only when you're really in the mood.
d. Pick pieces that are far beyond your ability, but that you can master with diligent effort. Question 10 A National Survey cited what
employers look for in the entry-level worker Made up of components (competencies) that can be altered and improved Ability to learn on the job Listening and oral communications skills Adaptability and creative responses to setbacks Personal management, goal orientation Cooperativeness, teamwork, negotiates disagreements Wants to contribute, leadership potential Basic reading, writing, math It explains why some individuals with: modest IQs become extremely successful
very high IQs completely derail The higher your IQ - the more important your EQ (it is what makes the difference) The more senior the position - the more important EQ becomes was really smart, but few people wanted to work with them? was technically brilliant but did not have the people skills to manage? just seemed to have the "knack" of getting people to do their best? 1. Problems with interpersonal relationships 2. Fail to meet business objectives/reach goals 3. Fail to build and lead teams 4. Inability to change or adapt to business transitions You're a manager in an organization that is trying to encourage respect for racial and ethnic diversity. You overhear someone telling a racist joke. What do you do?

a. Ignore it -- it's only a joke.
b. Call the person into your office for a reprimand.
c. Speak up on the spot, saying that such jokes are inappropriate and will not be tolerated in your organization.
d. Suggest to the person telling the joke he go through a diversity training-program. Question 5 You're trying to calm down a friend who has worked himself up into a fury at a driver in another car who has cut dangerously close in front of him. What do you do?

a. Tell him to forget it -- he's okay now and it's no big deal.
b. Put on one of his favorite songs and try to distract him.
c. Join him in putting down the other driver, as a show of rapport.
d. Tell him about a time something like this happened to you and how you felt as mad as he does now, but then you saw the other driver was on the way to a hospital emergency room. Question 6 Empathy–reading other people’s emotions without their having to tell you what they are feeling Handling feelings in relationships with skill and harmony–ability to build and maintain healthy relationships Knowing your feelings and using them to make life decisions you can live with Managing without being hijacked by it–not paralyzed by worry, or swept away by anger
Persisting through setbacks and channeling your impulses in order to pursue your goals Others Yourself Influencing Understanding Basic EQ Model Why should you care? a. 20 points
b. 20 points
c. 20 points
d. 0 points

Anything but D.
Answering D reflects a lack of awareness of your habitual responses under stress Answer – Question 1 a. 0 points
b. 20 points
c. 0 points
d. 0 points

B is best. Emotionally intelligent parents use their children's moments of upsets as opportunities to act as emotional coaches, helping their children understand what made them upset, what they are feeling, and alternatives the child can try. Answer – Question 2 a. 20 points
b. 0 points
c. 0 points
d. 0 points

A is best. One mark of self-motivation is being able to formulate a plan for overcoming obstacles and frustrations and follow through on it. Answer – Question 3 a. 0 points
b. 0 points
c. 20 points
d. 0 points

C is best. Optimism, a mark of emotional intelligence, leads people to see setbacks as challenges they can learn from, and to persist, trying out new approaches rather than giving up, blaming themselves, or getting demoralized. Answer – Question 4 a. 0 points
b. 0 points
c. 20 points
d. 0 points


C is best. The most effective way to create an atmosphere that welcomes diversity is to make clear in public that the social norms of your organization do not tolerate such expressions. Instead of trying to change prejudices (a much harder task), keep people from acting on them. Answer – Question 5 a. 0 points
b. 5 points
c. 5 points
d. 20 points

D is best. Data on rage and how to calm it show the effectiveness of distracting the angry person from the focus of his rage, empathizing with his feelings and perspective, and suggesting a less anger-provoking way of seeing the situation. Answer – Question 6 a. 20 points
b. 0 points
c. 0 points
d. 0 points

A is best. Take a break of 20 minutes or more. It takes at least that long to clear the body of the physiological arousal of anger -- which distorts your perception and makes you more likely to launch damaging personal attacks. After cooling down you'll be more likely to have a fruitful discussion. Answer – Question 7 a. 0 points
b. 20 points
c. 0 points
d. 0 points


B is best. Creative groups work at their peak when rapport, harmony, and comfort levels are highest - then people are freer to make their best contribution. Answer – Question 8 a. 0 points
b. 5 points
c. 0 points
d. 20 points

D is best. Children born with a timid temperament can often become more outgoing if their parents arrange an ongoing series of manageable challenges to their shyness. Answer – Question 9 a. 0 points
b. 20 points
c. 0 points
d. 0 points


B is best. By giving yourself moderate challenges, you are most likely to get into the state of flow, which is both pleasurable and where people learn and perform at their best. Answer – Question 10 Questions: 3, 4, 10 Quadrant 2 Quadrant 3 Quadrant 4 Quadrant 1 Questions: 6, 9 Questions: 2, 5, 7, 8, 9 Questions: 1, 2, 7 Others Yourself Influencing Understanding Basic EQ Model If you believe you have development needs in the “understanding self” quadrant: Developing your EQ If you believe you have development needs in the “influencing self” quadrant: Developing your EQ If you believe you have development needs in the “understanding others” quadrant: Developing your EQ If you believe you have development needs in the “influencing others” quadrant: Developing your EQ Today’s Assessment & Other Tools - WhitestonePartners.Wordpress.com Where do you go from here? Practice using sentences beginning with "I feel." Make time to reflect on your feelings Analyze your own feelings rather than the actions or motive of other people Identify your fears and desires Set stretch goals and a plan to follow through Take responsibility for your emotions and happiness; stop believing others cause your feelings; don't expect others to "make" you happy Ask others how they feel and listen carefully Restrain judgement and actively try to see situations from the other's point of view Develop active and reflective listening skills as a means to improve empathy Proactively decide who you want to influence Put together a plan to improve the relationship Work to improve communication skills (interpersonal communications, versatility, active listening, empathy) Helps you to deal with the stress and pressures of your job and/or running your business Helps you to manage your emotions and build better relationships Helps you to show steady leadership, enabling you to progress in your career Working with Emotional Intelligence
by: Daniel Goleman Where do you go from here? Executive EQ (Emotional Intelligence in Leadership and Organizations
by: Robert K. Cooper, Ph.D., and Ayman Sawaf Where do you go from here? The EQ Edge (Emotional Intelligence and Your Success
by: Steven J. Stein, Ph.D. and Howard E. Book, M.D. Where do you go from here? ____ of 60 points ____ of 60 points ____ of 40 points ____ of 100 points Understanding & Influencing Yourself Exercise: ABCDE - Dr. Albert Ellis A - Activating Event B - Beliefs (the silent self talk) C - Consequences D - Debate, Dispute, Discard Self Talk Where does it
come from? What is it? Can we control it? ABCDE Exercise Exercise Write down a time when an "A" activating event caused you to have a negative "C" consequence. List the consequences Next, write down what "B" beliefs caused you to move towards/think/do the negative consequence If there a more rational, logical reason for what is going on here than what I am thinking? If I explained what I am thinking to someone I respect, what would they say? E - Effects Not What I Meant Sometimes we say things - and people interpret our words differently than we meant This can cause hard feelings and misunderstandings Exercise Write down: 1. What you said 2. How it was interpreted 3. What you meant 4. How you could have rephrased to better understood Shameless Plug Alert!
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