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How To Be a Good Listener
Transcript of How To Be a Good Listener
1. Eliminate interruptions and interjections.
2. Replacing the desire to interrupt with simply listening.
3. After listening, process what was said and respond.
disinterest - curiosity & rehearsal
lack of understanding - lose a thought, ask a question
fatigue - hold my tongue
self-statements & rehearsal
"I want to hear where this is going"
"What can I learn from [name] today?"
"Remember the setting, feel from [name]'s heart, just be"
high risk | family & holiday adjustment
Mis-communication Happens Often
Don't Assume Before You Hear
1. Identify the parts listening is comprised of
2. Choose where to begin
3. Create an Initial Plan
4. Implement and Modify
"One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say."
coming into a conversation with pre-existing thoughts or assumptions
Not understanding the topic of conversation
Knowing the person well
Disengage while listening and begin having an internal conversation
Tiredness & Fatigue
Topic with high emotional volatility
My problem solving mentality kicks in, the emotional component leaves
tally system was disappointing (motivator)
frustration with self
feel bad if speaker is offended\hurt by interruption
4 Parts of Being a Good Listener
Interrupting the speaker or interjecting personal thoughts or ideas that have come to mind (based on an assumption) before the speaker has finished their complete thought.
Modifying the Behavior
-B. H. McGill
Hear what the speaker has to say
Look with their perception
See how it has shaped how they see the world
Empathize with what they are saying and feeling
Be able to hear what speaker has to say
Sign of completion: Loss of mental assumptions and desire to interrupt.
The problem behavior looks like: