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How To Be a Good Listener

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Alex J

on 1 December 2014

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Transcript of How To Be a Good Listener

How To Be a Good Listener
Initial Plan

1. Eliminate interruptions and interjections.

2. Replacing the desire to interrupt with simply listening.

3. After listening, process what was said and respond.

Final Plan
disinterest - curiosity & rehearsal
lack of understanding - lose a thought, ask a question
fatigue - hold my tongue

self-statements & rehearsal
"I want to hear where this is going"
"What can I learn from [name] today?"
"Remember the setting, feel from [name]'s heart, just be"
high risk | family & holiday adjustment
Mis-communication Happens Often
Don't Assume Before You Hear
1. Identify the parts listening is comprised of

2. Choose where to begin

3. Create an Initial Plan

4. Implement and Modify

5. Repeat
"One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say."
Antecedents (A)
coming into a conversation with pre-existing thoughts or assumptions
Not understanding the topic of conversation
Knowing the person well
Disengage while listening and begin having an internal conversation
Tiredness & Fatigue
Topic with high emotional volatility
My problem solving mentality kicks in, the emotional component leaves
Consequences (C)

tally system was disappointing (motivator)

frustration with self

feel bad if speaker is offended\hurt by interruption
4 Parts of Being a Good Listener
Behavior (B)
Interrupting the speaker or interjecting personal thoughts or ideas that have come to mind (based on an assumption) before the speaker has finished their complete thought.
Modifying the Behavior
-B. H. McGill
Hear what the speaker has to say

Look with their perception

See how it has shaped how they see the world

Empathize with what they are saying and feeling
The journey
the destination.

Be able to hear what speaker has to say
Sign of completion: Loss of mental assumptions and desire to interrupt.
The problem behavior looks like:
Problem Solving
Preventing Relapse
Full transcript