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Consequences

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by

Lori Allen

on 26 September 2016

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Transcript of Consequences

Is your intent to punish, to rescue, or to teach?
When we deliver consequences our intentions determine:
Mistakes are opportunities to learn
Imposed (Logical) Consequences
Arise with prearranged adult supervision
Problem Solving
C =
I =
R =
C =
L =
E =
Examples:
A child who does not tie his shoe may trip and fall.
A child who treats her friends poorly may find herslef without friends.
Natural Consequences
Arise without prearranged adult intervention
Consequences
Mistakes are opportunities to learn
day 8
How to deliver effective consequences to children
The three types of consequences and when to use each
What to do when it seems like consequences are not working
How to use the power of intention to foster responsibility, reflection and a willingness to change
Strategies for conducting class or family meetings to resolve problems peacefully and effectively
How the child views mistakes.
If change takes place or if mistakes are repeated.
Goal: to make the child feel bad
Result: 1. Teaches child s/he should feel
Intention to Punish
guilty
.
2. Shifts the focus from what the child is currently feeling to
what I think s/he should feel
.
3. Shifts the focus from what happened (child's situation) to
the adult.
Goal: To save the child from upset feelings
Result:
Intention to Save
1. Teaches children not to trust themselves, but to trust
2. Shifts the focus from the issue to the child using his intellectual energy to
Goal :To help children reflect on how they feel about th impact of their choices
If your goal is to teach, you must focus on:
Intention to Teach
1. What actually happened
2. Aspects of your child you want to highlight
3. What you want him/her to reflect upon
4. What you want him/her to learn
others.
manipulate others into saving him
.

Children must experience the discomfort from ___________.
Consequences comes from this internal state of
feeling
. If we rescue them, we save them from their internal guidance.
THREE TYPES OF CONSEQUENCES:
Are the most powerful type of consequences
Probably the results of personal choices.
Helping Children Learn From Their Mistakes
Are presented to a child or agreed upon at family/class meetings
Most effective with safety issues
R
R
R
easonable
elated
espectful
For a chronic problem or when you can't think of an appropriate imposed consequence that wouldn't be experienced as a punishment.
C
hoice of skills (old and new skill)
I
mposed consequence for using old skill
R
elate the consequence to safety or logic
C
larify
L
isten and refine if needed
E
mpathy when administering the consequence
Consequences + Empathy and Responsibility = .
Consequences + Moral Lecture =
and .
responsibility
stagnation
excuses
Dr. Becky Bailey

VIDEO CLIP
Facilitating a Class or Family Meeting
Step 1
"I've noticed (
state problem
) ."
Step 2
Allow the children the opportunity to own part of the problem.
Step 3
Summarize the problem.
Step 4
This is your opportunity to encourage them them to pivot and focus on what to do.
What did you see occurring (without bias/judgement)?
"This is a problem for me because
(
give a personal reason
). Does it bother anyone else?"
"So, a class problem we seem to be having is
(state the problem)
."
"What can we do to solve the problem?"
Basic Principles:
1. Mistakes are opportunities to learn responsibility.
2. Punishments and rewards rely on judgement. Consequences rely on reflection.
3. Your intention when administering consequences will determine their effectiveness.
4. Consequences delivered with empathy allow children the opportunity to learn how to be responsible for their choices.
When children see the connection between their behavior and the result of that behavior, learning has occurred!
HOMEWORK!
Read pgs. 225-251 in
Conscious Discipline,
by Becky Bailey

Complete the journal activity on pg. 44 in your notebook

Video tape yourself implementing a Conscious Discipline strategy with a child/class and send to lori.allen@polk-fl.net

Send completed ARROW form when you complete the video clip.

Send to:
Lori Allen
Woodlake Center
Route D
























































































VIDEO CLIP
Consequences
their choices
Homework!
Read Chapter 10 - p. 286-322
Complete Consequences Journal and Reflection, p. 44 in notebook
Video tape yourself implementing a Conscious Discipline strategy in your classroom. No more than 2 min long!
Return the ARROW Form with a copy of pg. 44 and email your video.
Intrusion Tattling
- victimization like physical agression

Revenge Tattling
- reported in hopes of getting others
in trouble

Safety Tattling
- reporting safety issues
"You should have known better." "What has gotten into you?", "Can't you ever listen?"
We cannot teach responsibility by demanding or threatening children into admitting their mistakes;
we teach it through creating safety and connection needed for them to reflect and listen to the messages their feelings provide about their impact on the world.
Respond to this statement
MYTHS AND REALITIES
PGS. 299 - 301

Read and Discuss
skill needed: Assertiveness
"Did you like it?"
skill needed: Helpfulness
"Are you telling to be helpful/hurtfull?"
skill needed: Trust in authority
"I will take care of it."
Use tattling as a teaching tool
Children must learn that they teach others how to treat them. They must learn to assertively deal with intrusive behaviors.
Child has been victimized
Message:
"I feel powerless"
Response:
"Did you like it?" Go tell __________, "I don't like it when you ___________."
Passive/Aggressive Tattling = Attempts to get revenge:
Message:
"I feel angry at...for not being my friend.... (don't know how to express anger directly.
Response: "
Are you telling me this to be helpful or hurtful?"
Tattling Out of Fear = Classroom is not safe, do something!
Message:
"I don't feel safe"
Response
: "My job is to keep this classroom safe, I will take care of....."
Full transcript