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Body Sentences, Transitions, & Conclusions
Transcript of Body Sentences, Transitions, & Conclusions
Body Sentences, Transitions, & Conclusions
Once you have identified your main ideas you need to start thinking about the other sentences that will expand on those ideas.
Tell me more sentences
Now watch this short video on how to be descriptive, in your notes please write down at least three things this teacher mentions for writing more descriptively.
In your notes please use a red marker and a highlighter function on your iPad. I would like for you to go through the example provided for you and:
Let's look at some examples:
Though there are many special people in my life, my mother is my favorite. One reason I love her is that she spoils me rotten. I can always talk her into cooking my favorite tacos with mounds of shredded cheese. Mom also teaches me things that help me succeed in life. She reminds me to be polite and kind to others, and to keep a smile on my face. Another reason my mom is great is that she is so nice to my friends. All the kids in our neighborhood love to hang out at my house. My mom talks to them and treats them special. She makes cookies, drives us places we need to go, and offers advice when asked. No doubt about it, my mom is the best!
Big ideas should be in an order easy for the reader to follow.
Transitions move you from one big idea to another.
Transitions should be:
Helpful, never distracting, to the reader
*look for alternatives
Avoid the following:
Move beyond first, second, and third
Use a variety of simple transitions
Use a wider variety of transitions
Begin to rearrange transitions by moving them away from the front of the sentence
Expert (All of the above and...)
Thoughtfully consider deleting a transition or two. Often the paragraph will sound smoother without the first transition.
The president of the United States has several important responsibilities. A big responsibility is being commander in chief of the armed forces. Marines, soldiers, and sailors, always salute their leader. The president has the responsibility to nominate Supreme Court Justices when there is a vacancy. The Senate must confirm his appointments. Representing your country in official capacities overseas is a huge responsibility. The president and his wife often travel to other countries on important business. Our chief executive wears many hats and must be responsible for all of them.
What is the word in the paragraph that is repeated and acts like a transition word?
It is important to explain your main ideas. Unfortunately you sometimes explain those big
ideas in a way that is too:
Boring, or too obvious
Vague (not well explained)
What not to do...
My favorite treat is ice cream. I like to eat it for dessert. It's really good. Sometimes in the summer, my dad takes me to Dairy Queen. The ice cream there is really good. When the ice cream truck comes down our street, I like to buy ice cream. It's really, really good. Ice cream makes a great snack anytime.
Instead elaborate your ideas by thinking about being:
1. interesting 4. not obvious
2. different 5. specific
3. unusual 6. written in your own
When I think back on special treats, I think of ice cream. I grew up in a family where ice cream was a frequent dessert. It was most often served in a dish, but on special occasions my mom bought sugar cones at the corner drug store. On family holidays, we'd have pie or cake a la mode. I also have special memories of summer evening trips to the Dairy Queen in our town. Sometimes a long bike ride with my dad led to a chocolate-dipped soft-serve cone. I remember celebrating hard-fought softball victories with a stop at DQ with my teammates. The jingling of the ice cream truck also brings back memories that make me smile. I met my best friend playing at a summer playground, where we'd often enjoy a treat from the neighborhood ice cream man who stopped by each afternoon. It's a sound that still causes me to smile and look out the front door on a lazy summer day. I have precious memories of this special treat- ice cream.
Often the difference between proficient and a higher quality piece of writing is the details in these tell me more sentences:
Notice in this example how the "tell me more" sentences add ideas and voice to writing!
Notice how the "tell me more" sentences add ideas and voice to the writing
A conclusion let's the reader know that the writing is complete
Scoring rubrics for expository writing always expect a strong conclusion at the end
A conclusion might summarize the info presented in the paragraph
A conclusion might restate the topic but use different words
A conclusion might be the "clincher" that encourages your reader to reflect on the topic and take action
***When you are doing a writing test and your brain can only come up with two really great sentences have those be your first and last sentences (they are that important!)***
You are never allowed to end a paragraph with a sentence like these:
Now you know everything I wanted to tell you about...
This was my paragraph about...
That is all I have to say about...
Mrs. Carter, I hope you like my paper.
What not to do!
As a result
Words that Signal a
*Don't overuse these words, please think variety!
Repeat the topic sentence with a concluding word at beginning
Use a concluding word at the beginning and change one or word from the topic sentence
Expectations for Conclusions:
Pull key words from the topic sentence and deliberately repeat them in the conclusion
Pull key words from the topic and think of synonyms of those words to use in the conclusion
End with a thought-provoking question for the reader to ponder (to think about)
Or something similar to a mastery sentence with a piece of figurative language thrown in, or artfully crafted word choice and maybe some complex internal punctuation
Please remember to go back to sophia.org and finish the digital WSQ and press submit and then you will be truly done!
You are now finished with tonight's homework!
Phew! That was a lot! However you are now fully
reviewed on the components of a paragraph.
Let's check our work!
Though there are many special people in my life, my mother is my favorite. One reason I love her is that
she spoils me rotten.
I can always talk her into cooking my favorite tacos with mounds of shredded cheese.
teaches me things that help me succeed in life.
She reminds me to be polite and kind to others, and to keep a smile on my face.
Another reason my mom is great is that
she is so nice to my friends.
All the kids in our neighborhood love to hang out at my house. My mom talks to them and treats them special. She makes cookies, drives us places we need to go, and offers advice when asked.
No doubt about it, my mom is the best!
Main ideas of the paragraph:
Spoils me rotten
Teaches me things to help me succeed in life
Nice to my friends
***The sentences highlighted in yellow are the supporting details of the main ideas, they help expand the main ideas.
**You will be getting a transition list to help you if you get stuck.
These sentences provide the reader with a lot of detail and support.
These help the reader visualize- see a picture in their head
Without these sentences in the body it is impossible to produce a piece of proficient writing.
Highlight the main ideas
Underline the sentences that expand on the main idea in red