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ivy shum

on 23 October 2013

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Transcript of LDR

15m people committed in LDR
4.5m of college couples involved in LDR
United States
Growth of LDR due to
advancement of technology
A satisfying relationship must have strong foundation which contains intimacy and commitment
half of the individual would prefer using video chat to communicate instead of letter

69.5% of the individuals believe that internet actually helps.

is a sign of


Physical interactions helps to maintain a relationship
53% agree
16% disagree
31% somehow needed
LDR a.k.a "expensive" relationship
76% believes the pressure from hardship will affect the stability of a relationship
High expectation is believed to have caused the failure of a LDR. Therefore,
of the individuals would try to avoid being involved in LDR
Have you ever been in a LDR before?
Advantages of LDR
Last longer than proximal relationship
Appreciate the precious moments
Appreciate the precious moments & cherish their love one
Challenges & Difficulties in LDR
Difficulty in Time Management
A human survival instinct.

A drive which motivates individuals to take actions to satisfy a basic need of social contact. (Peplau& Perlman, 1982)

Absents of significant half may lead to unsatisfying relationship which develop the feeling of loneliness.
Physical intimacy
Oxytoxin. (Zebre, 2011)

Promote attachment and increases trust among couples. (Nauert, 2012)

Incomplete emotional intimacy without the physical aspect as well. (Michael, 2009)
Different countries with different time zone.

Extra effort into managing their time
Difficulty in
Time Management

Pervasive due to the brain’s capacity to imagine things that are related to fear. (Sharma, n.d.)

Insecurity and uncertainty bring negative impacts.
See problems when none exist. (Tyrrell, 2011)
Bring strong bond of intimacy and credibility in a relationship. (Pinkerton, 2006)

Distance = barrier to build a strong foundation in the relationship.

Easily affected and changed by the environment.
Suspicious between the couples.
Aung San Suu Kyi (Suu) & Dr. Michael Aris (Mike)

Occupation: leader of the opposition party in Burma ; Historian Author

Factor of LDR: Suu fight for the democracy and placed in house arrest for 15years.

When: after marriage
Wendy Cheng & Mike Sayre

Occupation: a celebrity blogger; engineer

Factor of LDR: fall in love through MSN

When: before marriage

Country: Singapore (Wendy), America ( Mike)

Amount of visited: 4 times between 4 years

Difficulty: lack of body interaction, distance, family members disagree, financial problem

Overcome: communicate through MSN, trust each other, Mike move to Singapore after graduate.
organize pastime equally
develop personal growth & personality
50% believe that being apart will increase the tendency of jealousy and mistrust

36% believe it somehow will affect the relationship
Create a stronger bond
proximal couples have stronger relationship??
greater chance to know inner world of their significant one
spent time doing nothing but communicating
opportunity to
exchange information
"Trust is the base of any relationship, always be careful before doing any little act because just a missing T can RUST the relationship."
Definition of LDR :
Separation of partners by a significant distance

tendency of mistrust
Couple can be ripped apart by:
Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold
Country: Burma (Suu); United Kingdom (Mike)

Amount of visited: 3 times between 15 years

Difficulty: limited and controlled communication, worried

Overcome: have a trip to Burma, communicate by letter or international news and protect Suu by listed her name in Nobel Prize candidate list.
Ways to Overcome the Possible Challenges in LDR
Keep your partner updated.

Take a deeper look at what your partner needs.

Listen to the partner's words sincerely.

Video calling pulls the lovers nearer

Occupy oneself with healthy activities such as reading

a.Chicken soup for the soul - healing powers

Plan a date with friends - let them update you with their lives

Be as busy as the partner
Physical Intimacy
Keep a journal to plan the routine without neglecting your partner.
Time Management

Suspicion can be a stabbing at the relationship.

Find some better works to do when you start over thinking
a. Talk to a close friend
b. Outdoor activities

Make him feel special
Fear of Unknown
(Guldner, 2003)
Distance contributes most to the end of a LDR but definitely not the only problem.
(Guldner, 2003)
(Cruz, n.d.)
(Cruz, n.d.)
(Cheng, 2009)
(Bessonsilla, Harries & Besson, 2011)
(Phillips, 2011)
(Ghatourey, 2013)
(Johnson, 2012)
(Corbano, n.d.)
Full transcript