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Rachel Getting Married

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alex moore

on 2 December 2014

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Transcript of Rachel Getting Married

Buchman Family Myths
Kym
believed her mother is to blame for Ethans death because her mother left Ethan in Kyms care even though she knew she was an addict.
T
he
B
uchman
F
amily
Kym-
Daughter, Addict, coming from rehab to celebrate her sister getting married.
Introduction
Rachel's getting married... Her sister Kym is temporarily released from a drug rehabilitation facility to celebrate her sister getting married. The wedding is taking place, the house is full of family and friends. Paul (Father) keeps a watchful eye on Kym at all times, while Rachel feels resentment towards all the attention her sister gets during her wedding time. The sisters mother (Abby) is absent until the rehearsal dinner and the Stepmother (Carol) picks up most of the wedding planning herself. Underneath this time of joy and celebration, family secrets hide. The death of a younger brother, to the hands of Kym. The addiction Kym suffers, and her fathers need for codependence.
Boundaries in the Buchman Family
Kym
talks openly at all times about her drug addiction. For example at Rachel's rehearsal dinner.
Family Context
Family Form
: Abbey and Paul are the parents of Rachel and Kym. Abbey and Paul divorced and have both remarried. They also had a son who died at an early age.
Family Life Cycle
The family life cycle is the final dimension of the Family assessment.
In this family many disruptive unpredictable events occurred. This causes variations in the life cycle, for example the parents of these children are divorced and remarried.
Also this family has to keep coping with the death of the younger brother Ethan.
The death occurred while Kym the sister was under the influence and drove off a bridge.
This family also copes with Kym’s addiction, dealing with addiction is really stressful for family members.
There are six stages to the family life cycle
Kym is still mastering becoming an unattached adult she needs to part away from the family and become her own self before moving on.
Her sister Rachel on the other hand has mastered a few stages she is newly married and expecting their first child.
Rachel Getting Married
Communication Styles
The communication Style of this family is faulty which causes problems in the family. The congruence and clarity of the communication of this family goal is different which not all members agree to.
Paul (Father)
Paul is genuinely concerned about Kym's well-being but doesn't see the stress the relationship is causing Rachel during the time of her wedding.
Paul’s main concern and what he is communicating is to make sure that Kym is all right at all times.
When confronted by his daughter Rachel he tends to defend, excuse, and sympathize with his other daughter Kym.
Rachel
Once she sees what her father Paul is communicating, Rachel slowly begins to resent Kym's situation.
Rachel then starts to criticize, attack, and accuse her sister for the problems occurring.
Communication Styles Continued...
Kym
With her father’s communication it is making Kym feel like she is not trusted.
Kym uses caustic humor and also begins to dwell on the past.
Kym and Rachel have a hard time understanding each other because they are in two different stages in life.
Abby (Mother)
Excuses and neglects the tragic event that occurred with Kym and her son.
Kym questioned her why she allowed her to watch the baby when her mother knew she had an addiction.
Abby makes excuses, becomes non verbal, and then gets physical with Kym.
Family Power Structure
Defined as psychological, economic, and social
Dominant members have power in determining the boundaries of the family system in certain situations
Rachel would be the family member that has more power, mainly because parents divorced and younger brother died.
Paul (dad) is very passive and tries to avoid conflict and usually sides with Rachel.
There is a constant competition for power between Kym and Rachel.
Family Decision Making Process
Although Rachel has the most power in the household most decisions go through the dad before any action is taken.
For this family decision making definitely shift when parents got divorced and mom decided to maintain a distant relationship with her daughters and ex husband.
Both daughters respect their father and even though Rachel tries to make decisions for Kym, dad steps in to help his daughters come to an agreement.
Family’s race is Caucasian and middle to upper class socioeconomic status.
Family Strengths
Rachel is very forgiving towards Kym and tries to make things for easier for Kym. (Letting Kym be her maid of honor, getting Kym ready for the wedding)
Kym acknowledges the wrong she has done, is attending AA, and is in rehab.
The Dad is loving and concerned about his family. (Always very concerned about Kym)
Kym and Rachel have a close relationship, even though it is complicated and chaotic at times.
Carol-
Wife to paul, Stepmother to Rachel and Kym.
Ethan-
Deceased son to Abby and Paul, brother to Rachel and Kym
Rachel-
Daughter, Getting married, studying psychology
Paul-
Father to Kym, Rachel and Ethan. Remarried to Carol
Abby-
Mother to Kym, Rachel and Ethan, ex-wife of Paul. Disconnected from the family. Has a new husband
Paul
has to know where Kym is at all times
Kym and Paul
have a codependent relationship
Paul and Kym's
relationship is based on diffused boundaries
Abby and Paul
divorced and now do not have any relationship with one another. The children are responsible for communicating between the two.
Rachel
blames Kym for Ethans death.
Kym
believes Rachel is the "perfect child" and that she is a failure herself.
Rachel
believes Kym does everything for attention, and that everything needs to be centered around her.
Kym
believes her family does not trust her and that her father is watching her at all times.
Roles in a Dysfunctional Family
Family Roles
"Responsible Child"- "Family Hero"
This is the child who is "9 going on 40." Rachdel is very responsible and self-sufficient. She gives the family self-worth because she looks good on the outside. She is a good students and is the daughter who is getting married. The parents look to Rachel to prove that they are good parents and good people. She achieves "success" on the outside and get lots of positive attention but are cut off from her inner emotional life and true Self.
"Acting out child"- "Scape Goat"
Kim is the child that the family feels ashamed of. She acts out the tension and anger the family ignores. She provides distraction from the real issues in the family. The scapegoat usually has trouble, Kim has trouble with the law and addictions, because they get attention the only way they know how - which is negatively. She is very impulsive.
Family Roles Continued
"Placater"- "Mascot"- "Caretaker"
The Paul (father) takes responsibility for the emotional well-being of the family. He becomes the families 'social director' and/or clown, diverting the family's attention from the pain and anger. They have very low self-worth and feel a lot of guilt that they work very hard to overcome by being really "nice" (i.e. people pleasing, classically codependent) people.
"Adjuster"- "Lost Child"
The mother escapes by attempting to be invisible. They deny that they have any feelings and "don't bother getting upset."
Full transcript