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Surrendering the One-up Relationship

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Theresa Stanek

on 17 December 2014

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Transcript of Surrendering the One-up Relationship

- You have value regardless of accomplishments or failures.

- If you don't reach your counseling goals, you can always come back.

- It's what you do after a mistake or a failure that matters.
1. You can talk to me even if you fail.
- You are the expert on yourself.

- In order to help make positive changes, help the adults who support you to know who you are.

- You are the BOSS. We are here to help YOU by finding resources and directions to happiness.
2. Who is the real expert?
- We can work together to tear off any negative labels.

- Prove wrong anyone who has given you a negative label.

- Your labels do not define who you are to your core.

- How you control the labels and live is up to you.
6. You can define who you are.
Positive in a negative
- Reframe to find positive aspects in issues.

Ex: "I hate school, and I'm not going." This translates into you being headstrong. Carry this into other avenues like not letting others walk all over you.

3. Ray of Sunshine in the Darkest Clouds
Surrendering the One-up Relationship
- What is most important to you?
People? Places? Things? Ideas?

- What motivates you to do well?
Goals? People?

- We will respect what motivates you.

- Look at how many accomplishments you have made already.

4. Know what motivates you
5. What your value means?
You're kind of a big deal
- You have worth and value. The number one rule is that you do not cause harm to yourself or others emotionally or physically.

- Important Activities:
self-talk for emotional health
taking care of yourself
- The offense is the one who has the ball and is in control. Defense is what happens to you.

- We will attack the problem together.

- "No" and "I can't" will get you nowhere.
7. Offense and Optimism Moves the Ball
What is the One-up Relationship?
Relationship of control when one person has control or "one-up" over someone else.
Being the one controlled can make you feel
like your feelings don't matter and you're not important.
Who can you trust?
Answer this question: "I believe I will become..."
Write it down. This will be your goal.
Full transcript