Vague Pronoun Usage

EX: Incorrect: Every animal has the instinct for self-preservation. Without it, (referring to self-preservation or instinct?) it ( referring to animal, instinct, or self preservation?) would die.

How can this sentence be corrected?

Every animal has the instinct for self-preservation. Without this instinct, the animal would die.

OR

Without the instinct for self-preservation, which every animal must have, an animal is bound to suffer.

All students are requested to cover their books; otherwise they will be confiscated.

What’s wrong with the above sentence?

All students are requested to cover their books; otherwise their books will be confiscated.

OR

Students are hereby notified that all books not covered will be confiscated

Group Work: Rewrite these sentences on your strips to make each sentence clearer. Avoid redundancies!

1. The loyal forces fought the guerillas until they were almost entirely destroyed.

2. If it isn't shipped on dry ice, the ice cream will melt.

3. Since the show was scheduled for the same night as the election, it had to be postponed.

4. When the large truck hit the wall in front of the building, it was hardly damaged.

5. Before the gate could fit the opening of the fence, it had to be made smaller.

6. After the children carefully wrapped the packages, Mrs. Graham sent them off.

Rule #2

This or that should not be used to refer to a whole statement.

Incorrect: Paula sings beautifully; this makes her confident on the stage

How can this sentence be revised?

Paula sings beautifully; this fact makes her feel confident on the stage

OR

The fact that Paula sings beautifully makes her feel confident on the stage

Group Work: Rewrite these sentences on your strips to make each sentence clearer

1. The sale included household furniture, men’s and women’s clothing, automobile accessories, and sporting goods. This was sure to bring in many customers.

2. My parents bought a new rug and new curtains, and we hired someone to paint the walls and ceiling. That certainly improved the appearance of the room.

3. The first part of the test was on chemistry, the second on mathematics, the third on physics. This made it very difficult. 4. Some of the eyewitnesses described the man as short, others said he was tall, and yet others said he was “about average.” This confused the police investigators.

5. After the storm, the trail to the top of the mountain was washed out in some spots and was littered in many places with fallen branches. That made the ascent nerve-racking.

Avoid ambiguous (unclear) pronoun use

• Incorrect: Lenore told her roommate that she must attend the meeting.

Correction:

Lenore told her roommate that her roommate must attend the meeting.

OR

Lenore told her roommate that Lenore must attend the meeting.

OR ADD DIALOGUE

Lenore told her roommate, "I must attend the meeting."

• Correction:

There were many books on the shelves, but since the volumes were in a corner of the room, it was hard to see them.

1. The police officer told the sergeant that he had a button missing on his uniform.

2. The guide explained to the tourist the value of the stone she had found.

3. Marc informed Darryl that his tooth would stop hurting if he were to visit the dentist.

4. When Anna brought Lena to the conference, we asked her for her credentials. 5. The manager told the waiter that he would have to replace all broken dishes.

6. When the officer chased the burglar through the park he broke his ankle.

Rule #4

• Do not use “they say” or “it says.” Use specific nouns or phrases

In the article they say that California is the largest producer of wine in the country.

Correction:

According to the article, California is the largest producer of wine in the country.

Incorrect:

In the newspaper, it says that the United States is preparing for war with Iran.

Correction: In the newspaper, the writer states that the United States if preparing for war with Iraq

• They say that Paris has many open air markets
• Correction?

Travelers say that Paris has many open air markets.

Rule #5

The indefinite use of the pronoun you should be avoided

You are not supposed to walk on those lawns.

CORRECTION

Walking on the lawns is prohibited.

Rule #6

A pronoun should not refer to a noun that is acting like an adjective or some other part of speech in the sentence.

In Jay-Z’s song about politics, he protests against the smug tyranny by the majority

Correction?

In his song about politics, Jay-Z protests against the smug tyranny by the majority

OR

In Jay-Z’s song about politics, the rapper protests against the smug tyranny by the majority.

Group Work: Rewrite these sentences on your strips to make each sentence clearer

1. In the preface, it says why the author wrote the book.

2. In Ireland, you are apt to be rained on every day.

3. In the nineteenth century, you had to work a twelve hour day.

4. In Arizona, you get very little rainfall.

5. John’s song about love reveals his romantic and sappy side.

6. In the documentary, they say that the American food system is corrupt.

7. You are supposed to be in class on time every morning.

Human impact on the Colorado River

Internet:

• http://m.utsandiego.com/news/2008/dec/21/1n21colorado211057-colorado-river-may-face-fight-i/
• http://www.azdeq.gov/environ/water/download/riversreport.pdf
• http://www.ourstolenfuture.org/commentary/News/2003/2003-0202-LAT-perchlorate.htm
• Haslam, S.M River Pollution: An Ecological Perspective, John Wiley & Sons Ltd (1999)

Sources

There are many books on the shelves, but since they were in a corner of the room, it was hard to see them.

Hard to see the books or the shelves?

Group Work: Rewrite these sentences on your strips to make each sentence clearer

What is a pronoun?

A pronoun is a word that stands for a noun or another pronoun

DO NOW: Choose the correct answer

Rule #1

Every pronoun must have a definite antecedent that is expressed clearly. If a pronoun cannot be used clearly, the writer should use a noun as a substitute or rewrite the sentence.

What is an antecedent?

1. She speaks so very (quick, quickly).

2. He should pass the test (easy, easily).

3. That is the (prettier, prettiest, most pretty) dress in the whole store.

4. Which was (more merry, merrier, merriest), this Christmas or last Christmas?

5. Tori is faster than (any, any other) boy on the field.

6. Speak (correct, correctly) at all times!

7. Although Jen is younger than her sister, Jen is (taller, tallest).

8. Her novel spoke to me more profoundly than (any, any other) piece of writing in her oeuvre.

9. Thus far, this is the (most warm, warmest, warmer) day of the year.

10. Mr. Armitage is older than (anyone, anyone else) in his classroom.

An antecedent is a word for which a pronoun stands