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Metamessages

Taking Credit for Your Accomplishments

  • "I don't have that problem."
  • "Here's some advice."
  • "I have a problem."
  • Americans don't like metamessages.

Metamessages

“What people really believe doesn't feel like a BELIEF, it feels like the way the world IS.” -Harry James Potter-Evans-Verres

welcometoladyville.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/wileecoyotebusinesscard.jpg

  • Self-Promotion vs. Humility.
  • Humility can be self-sabotaging.
  • Self-Promoters can advance unfairly without realizing it.

Eye of the beholder?

Status-Oriented Styles

Considerate vs. Involved

Self-Worth

www.jedweingarten.com/images/wildlife/wildlife05.jpg

  • America is a Dignity Culture.
  • Dignity Cultures are good at getting along.
  • Remember that you have dignity.

Works Cited

  • Assertive
  • Aggressive
  • Passive-Aggressive
  • Submissive
  • Manipulative
  • Be quiet to pay attention vs. comment to show you're listening.
  • Wait vs. Interrupt.
  • Can shut people down when mismatched.
  • clairenewton.co.za/my-articles/the-five-communication-styles.html
  • forbes.com/sites/markmurphy/2015/08/06/which-of-these-4-communication-styles-are-you/#7ec7b27b1ecb
  • lesswrong.com/lw/375/ask_and_guess/
  • "You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation by Deborah Tannen". HarperCollins. 2010.

Ask vs. Guess Culture

Goal-Oriented Styles

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strategicmodularity.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/google.com_.LeanGoal2.jpg

  • Ask immediately vs. try to figure out the answer on your own.
  • Feel fine with saying no vs. feeling bad.
  • Look entitled vs. look wishy-washy.
  • Personal
  • Functional
  • Intuitive
  • Analytical

Communication Styles

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