The Six Love Styles

The Six Love Styles

May be Ludic if you answered yes to:

Ludus

When my partner gets too dependent on me, I want to back off a little.

I believe that what my partner doesn't know about me won't hurt him/her.

I have sometimes had to keep my partner from finding out about other partners

Game-Playing Love

Movie Example: John Tucker Must Die

May be Pragmatic if you answered yes to:

Pragma

One consideration in choosing my partner was how he/she would reflect on my career.

I considered what my partner was going to become in life before I committed myself to him/her.

I tried to plan my life carefully before choosing my partner.

Logical Love

Movie Example: Pride and Prejudice

• Avoid commitment

• Will have multiple partners at once

• Love is a game to be played

• View self disclosure as a threat

• Don’t “fall” in love, choose to be in love

• Practical, objective, sensible, rational

• Has a defined list of desired traits

• More concerned with social qualities

Agape

May be Agapic if you answered yes to:

Alturistic Love

I try to always help my partner through difficult times.

I am usually willing to sacrifice my own wishes to let my partner achieve his/hers.

When my partner gets angry with me, I still love him/her fully and unconditionally.

Movie Example: Forrest Gump

• Unconditional, forgiveness, self-less, patient

• Derived from spiritual roots

• Don’t “fall” in love, they have love to give

• Willing to sacrifice all for their partner

Storge

Compassionate Love

May be Storgic if you answered yes to:

To be genuine, our love first required caring for awhile.

Our love is the best kind because it grew out of a long friendship.

Our friendship merged gradually into love over time.

• Love grows from friendship

• Stable, predictable, routine

• Handle separation well, trust is high

• Tends to lack intense passion

Movie Example: When Harry Met Sally

S.A.M.P.L.E.

Mania

Obsessive Love

• Experience extreme high’s and low’s

• Possessive, dependent, unpredictable

• Suffer extreme pain during break-ups

• Fall HARD in love

May be Manic if you answered yes to:

If my partner and I break up, I would get so depressed that I would even think of suicide.

Sometimes I get so excited about being in love with my partner that I can't sleep.

If my partner ignores me for a while, I sometimes do stupid things to try to get his/her attention back.

Movie Example: Endless Love

Eros

Romantic Love

May be Erotic if you answered yes to:

My partner and I were attracted to each other immediately after we first met.

I feel that my partner and I were meant for each other

My partner fits my ideal standards of physical beauty/handsomeness.

• View love as a fairy-tale

• Serial monogamist

• Tend to idealize partners

• View “true love” as the goal of life

Movie Example: Romeo and Juliet

Love Attitudes Test

Real Life Couples

When Harry Met Sally--. Dir. Rob Reiner. MGM Studio, 1989

66% Storge

34% Eros

17% Pragma

2% Agapic, Ludus, and Mania