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Esther Sabino - Introduction to Cholly Breedlove
4
Society
Masculinity
Manhoood
Fatherhood
Trauma
Introduction
to Cholly Breedlove
Esther Sabino
What personal connections do you have to black/brown masculinity, manhood, and/or fatherhood?
What has been your experience with black/brown masculinity, manhood, and/or fatherhood? (What did you learn?) How have you witnessed father in your community?
(Especially if you identify as a black man yourself. What would you want to teach your son? What would you want to pass on? Think of legacy.)
community
I didn’t grow up with a father in my life but I've seen my friends and family members interact with their fathers. Growing up I noticed that fathers are extremely hard on their kids and show little to no emotion or affection towards them. Growing up without a father and with brothers taught me the importance of a father figure. Boys need a father to raise them as much as a mother. Having a dad is important in the development of both boys and girls because men keep us grounded. If I were to have a son I'm going to teach him to not be afraid to show responsibility and to show emotion because a man being in tune with his feelings doesn't make them any less of a man.
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What have you “been taught” about black/brown masculinity, manhood, and/or fatherhood through society, family, friends, and community?
Toxic
I have been taught that men are supposed to be emotionless because showing emotion is for females only. A man crying in society’s eyes or showing any type of emotion besides anger or toughness is embarrassing and shouldn't happen. Many boys are told all their lives starting from when they are babies that ‘boys don’t cry,’ and if they are vulnerable, they are being weak or are ‘acting like a girl.
What fears do you have about being a black or brown man or what fears do you have for those in your life?
Emotionless
I'm fearful for the men in my life that don't show emotions or speak on their feelings because it ruins their mentally. I’m fearful of the fact that they feel that they can't speak on how they are feeling because of how they were raised to fit into what's acceptable in society. Im fearful of the fact that this causes them to lash out in the form of anger which pushes a lot of people away and causes them to be lonely and be consumed by that loneliness and feel that they are misunderstood and have no one to turn to.
No Thanks!
What joys have you experienced from being a black or brown man or what joys have you experienced from those in your life?
- What images do you associate with black/brown masculinity, manhood, and/or fatherhood?