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The theme of education is very prevalent throughout the book. Tara's father believed that education was a way for the government to put false information into the minds of children so she was denied an education. The idea that school had no value was frequently reminded to her. She begins to take an interest in education and with the encouragement of her older brother Tyler, applies to college. When going to college she sees how having no education has effected her more than she though.
Religion is a very big part of Tara's life, specifically at home. Religion is one of the main things that her father believes. He is very invested in the Mormon religion and is a factor into the various reasons for not letting his children go to school or even go to the doctor if they were hurt. Tara follows these beliefs until she gets to college and sees she is not able to follow all these rules especially if she had already disobeyed her father and went to school.
The Westover household is filled with emotional and mental abuse. It happens frequently. It started as only Gene yelling to his children about his views on the world and if anyone did anything he disagreed with. This was still a lot for the children to deal with. When Tara gets older, Shawn starts to abuse her for things he didn't like her doing. For example, calling Tara a "whore" when she began to wear makeup. This turned into him physically beating her. There was so much chaos happening that the abuse was not very looked at or knowledge and almost seemed that it was viewed as a normal thing. There were also multiple occasions where Shawn and his father got into fists fights during disagreements which normalized all the other abuse happening elsewhere in the family. Later in the memoir when Tara tries to tell her parents about the abuse, Shawn walks in carrying a bloody knife and he has just killed the family dog. This event is overlooked because her father is stuck on the fact that Tara does not have proof of the abuse. Later Tara talks to her mother on the phone about the discussion they had and the knife Shawn had. Her mother then goes on tell her that her memory is deceiving her and once again Tara's is told she is wrong. Because abuse was so normalized in the family, the Westover parents overlook all the violence in their home.
Gender roles are not a major theme throughout the book but does show up more often towards the beginning of the memoir where Tara lives with her family. Tara's father, Gene lives by and parents his children with the ideas of Mormonism.In this religion there are specific beliefs that are followed and can effect Tara specifically because she is female. There are some things she is not allowed to do because of it.
The theme of memory is everywhere in this book. Since it is a memoir and Tara is writing from her memory it is a large theme. Since it is written from Tara's perspective, her memory of the events in her life will look different to her than one of her siblings. For example in an incident where her brother Luke's leg catches on fire Tara remembers the event differently than her brother. She remembers him screaming down the hill and then her helping Luke into a container of water to ease the pain of burning. What Luke remembers is their father carrying him down the hill and laying him in a bath of water. Tara also discusses memory and how each persons memory views an event differently.