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Sentence Improvement
By: Lesly Claribell Paz
Thursday, July 16, 2020
Exercise A
Sentence Improvement:
> Exercise A
To say what you mean in as few words
as possible is a worthy goal, as long as clarity and effectiveness are not sacrificed. To
achieve conciseness, two sentences may be combined into one sentence with compound
parts; dependent clauses may be reduced to phrases; and phrases may be
reduced to words. Reduce each sentence or each pair of sentences to one sentence
containing the construction called for in parentheses.
> Example
Mr. Smith, who is our math teacher, also teaches Latin. (appositive phrase)
Mr. Smith, our math teacher, also teaches Latin.
1. John Cabot was one of the earliest explorers of Canada. Giovanni da Verrazano was also one of the earliest explorers of canada. (compound subject)
>One
John Cabot and Giovanni da Verrazano were two of the earliest explorers of Canada.
Exercise B
Sentence Improvement: Subordination. Combine each pair of sentences into
one sentence by making one of the sentences into a dependent clause. You will need
to introduce the dependent clause with words like after, although, as, because, before,
since, when, or while. Use a comma after the dependent clause if the dependent clause
is at the beginning of the sentence.
> Exercise B
> Example p.83
Daniel was late. He received a demerit.
Because Daniel was late, he received a demerit.
> Example
1. Canada is the second largest country in the world in size. The United States has nearly ten
times as many people.
Although Canada is this second largest country in the world in size, the United States has nearly ten times as many people.
Exercise C
Active Voice. The active voice is usually more natural
and emphatic than the passive, though occasionally the passive voice is required. Rewrite
each sentence, changing the passive voice to the active voice.
> Exercise C
> Example
1. China was governed by the Chou dynasty from approximately 1027 B.C. to 256 B.C.
The Chou dynasty governed China from approximately 1027 B.C. to 256 B.C.
Exercise D
Parallelism. Rewrite each sentence, correcting faulty
parallelism.
> Exercise D
Study the examples below:
Not parallel Juan likes fishing, swimming, and to hike.
Parallel Juan likes fishing, swimming, and hiking.
Not parallel That you are a sinner and your need of the
Savior are two important truths you must
face.
Parallel That you are a sinner and that you need the
Savior are two important truths you must
face.
> Example
1. Playing softball, reading an interesting novel, or to repair something around the house are
a few things Trevor likes to do on summer days.
Playing softball, reading an interesting
novel, or repairing something around the house are a few things Trevor likes to do on summer days.
> Example
Practice
> Practice
Exercise A Numbers 2-3 p.160
Exercise B Numbers 2-4 p.160
Exercise C Numbers 2-5 p.161
Exercise D Numbers 2-5 p.161