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In Pursuit of Tristan's Love Quest to Find a Boyfriend-Free Girl

OPTIMIZING THE MEME

The Meme

Trading a Shitty Time for Poon

  • College parties suck
  • Booze good, not worth 30 minutes
  • Negotiating wingman/woman

01

Considerations

Not All Poon is Created Equal

  • Actually boyfriend-free
  • Success below 60% indictment
  • Funny-enjoyable balance
  • Fewer strings good, less funny
  • More connections?

02

Option 1

Šenel INSERTLASTNAMEDON'TFORGET

03

Pros

  • Likely no need for second bag
  • No baggage
  • Comes from horse-riding culture (Abel 2021)

Cons

  • Sounds like, you know
  • Impossible to hold a conversation
  • Probably has a roommate
  • Funny-Misery ratio pretty low
  • Is a gremlin

Option 2

Zuza Brzesintrzetrzelewnowakska

04

Pros

  • Is Polish
  • Get to cuck Dave
  • Perfect squat technique
  • Does cute finger thing

Cons

  • Have to fight Dave
  • Likely to take wallet (“Poland Crime Rate & Statistics 1990-2021”)
  • Is Polish

Option 3

Grape Hair

06

Pros

  • Has already expressed interest
  • Likely a proponent of the Molly strategy
  • Craig said she has the 2nd best feet in the group (Davies 2022)
  • No roommate

Cons

  • You and I both very well know what the cons are

Conclusion

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I hope you enojyed watching this prese ntation as much as I enjoyed making it

06

Sources: Abel, Carmine. “Benefits of Horseback Riding: Top Physical & Mental Benefits.” Equine Helper | Horseback Riding, Training, & Care, 14 Dec. 2021, equinehelper.com/benefits-of-horseback-riding/.

“Poland Crime Rate & Statistics 1990-2021.” Www.macrotrends.net, www.macrotrends.net/countries/POL/poland/crime-rate-statistics

Davies, Craig. "Some Bullshit Episode of Our Illustrious Steaming Career IDK Ask Dave." www.youtube.com/watch/garbage. 2022

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