In Pursuit of Tristan's Love Quest to Find a Boyfriend-Free Girl
OPTIMIZING THE MEME
The Meme
Trading a Shitty Time for Poon
- College parties suck
- Booze good, not worth 30 minutes
- Negotiating wingman/woman
01
Considerations
Not All Poon is Created Equal
- Actually boyfriend-free
- Success below 60% indictment
- Funny-enjoyable balance
- Fewer strings good, less funny
- More connections?
02
Option 1
Šenel INSERTLASTNAMEDON'TFORGET
03
Pros
- Likely no need for second bag
- No baggage
- Comes from horse-riding culture (Abel 2021)
Cons
- Sounds like, you know
- Impossible to hold a conversation
- Probably has a roommate
- Funny-Misery ratio pretty low
- Is a gremlin
Option 2
Zuza Brzesintrzetrzelewnowakska
04
Pros
- Is Polish
- Get to cuck Dave
- Perfect squat technique
- Does cute finger thing
Cons
- Have to fight Dave
- Likely to take wallet (“Poland Crime Rate & Statistics 1990-2021”)
- Is Polish
Pros
- Has already expressed interest
- Likely a proponent of the Molly strategy
- Craig said she has the 2nd best feet in the group (Davies 2022)
- No roommate
Cons
- You and I both very well know what the cons are
Conclusion
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I hope you enojyed watching this prese ntation as much as I enjoyed making it
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Sources: Abel, Carmine. “Benefits of Horseback Riding: Top Physical & Mental Benefits.” Equine Helper | Horseback Riding, Training, & Care, 14 Dec. 2021, equinehelper.com/benefits-of-horseback-riding/.
“Poland Crime Rate & Statistics 1990-2021.” Www.macrotrends.net, www.macrotrends.net/countries/POL/poland/crime-rate-statistics
Davies, Craig. "Some Bullshit Episode of Our Illustrious Steaming Career IDK Ask Dave." www.youtube.com/watch/garbage. 2022