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“The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said”
Peter F. Drucker
Body language
is a silent orchestra
Body language refers to the nonverbal signals that we use to communicate. According to experts, these nonverbal signals make up a huge part of daily communication.
enables us to understand what they really think or feel about something
Paying attention to body language could make strong impacts on your behavior, which could help you achieve better results.
Allows us to understand peoples moods and emotions better
According to Mehrabian
The eyes are known as the windows of the soul. They play an important role in face-to-face communication.
Pupil dilation:
Constricted, smaller pupils could indicate anger or a negative mood.
highly dilated pupils can indicate excitement, attraction, or desire.
Blinking:
frequent blinking can indicate that the person feels uncomfortable or upset.
When someone is chewing on their bottom lip, it might be a sign of anxiety, dread, or insecurity.
When someone is yawning or coughing, covering one's mouth may be an attempt to be respectful, but it might also be an attempt to hide a grimace of displeasure
Although smiles are often considered to be one of the most powerful body language cues, they may also be misinterpreted.
You may use a grin as a kind of sarcasm, irony, or even cynicism to communicate your feelings.
Take a look at the photo below. Can you tell if this is a real or fake smile?
This is a fake smile. This smile lacks the characteristic “crow’s feet” wrinkles around the corners of the eyes.
The Duchenne smile is a smile characterized by the “crow’s feet” wrinkles around the corners of the eyes along with upturned corners of the mouth. This is a real smile.
When you see a Duchenne smile, this likely indicates genuine happiness.
The Science: Research shows that babies several weeks old will already use the Duchenne smile for their mothers only, while using a more polite, social smile for others.
People also tend to smile more with others than when alone in fact, when we see a smiling face, endorphins are released into our system
When smiling, remember to “smile with your eyes,” not just your mouth.
Gestures
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Science of People analyzed thousands of hours of TED Talks and found one striking pattern: The most viral TED Talkers spoke with their words AND their hands.
Spencer Kelly, associate professor of psychology at Colgate University, found that gestures make people pay attention to the acoustics of speech. We can’t help it. Hand gestures come naturally to us.
Spencer even found that blind people use hand gestures when speaking with other blind people.
Gesturing helps you access memories. Using hand gestures while you speak not only helps others remember what you say, it also helps you speak more quickly and effectively!
Nonverbal explanations help you understand more. One study found that forcing children to gesture while they explained how to solve math problems actually helped them learn new problem-solving strategies.
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Anytime you mention a number, you should always show that number.
Hand gestures bold your words
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a really big growth
it is a really big deal vs it is a little problem
gesture anywhere near your heart region
Ex: this is so important to me
It highlights that what I am talking about really matters
our hands can help people keep track of an explanation
use hands to demonstrate two different groups
Example: it is election year republicans and democrats
We were apart on this but then we come together on it
Example: group A, group B reached to an agreement
Thumbs up and thumbs down are common acceptance and disapproval gestures.
As a general rule, your thumbs should be showing if you want to portray confidence. Thumbs are a good indicator of agreement, and even powerful leaders will use their thumbs when gesturing
Evolutionarily, when we see closed palms, our brains receive signals that we might be in danger—after all, they could be brandishing a weapon or hiding something even more dangerous…
When using hand gestures, make sure you display your palms and don’t hide them from others. Pockets, hands behind back, and closed fists can all act as barriers against open palms.
People who display open palms are seen as honest and sincere
have you ever been in a situation where you met someone, and they seem nice, but something inside you felt a bit… off?
It might have been that their palms weren’t showing.
In the picture below, the person has their hands in their pockets, but their thumbs are sticking out. What does this likely indicate?
1. confidence
2. nervousness or anxiety
3. anticipation
4. fear
Even though the hands are inside the pockets, the big difference here is that the thumbs are sticking out. Thumbs are also the most powerful digits of your hand. When they are displayed confidently, this can often indicate confidence or power in a given situation.
Examples:
When you feel confident, the space between your fingers grows, but that space lessens when you feel insecure. And while rubbing the hands conveys stress, steepling the fingers means that a person feels confident.
Here’s a simple self-test you can do right now: cross your arms
Research has found that 7 out of 10 people cross their left arm over their right arm
This implies that this gesture might be genetic, with the less dominant left arm protecting the more useful right one.
If you try crossing your arms the other way, you might be surprised that it feels completely wrong!
The key is to look for it in the upper arms. If the other person keeps their upper arms close to their body, only extending their arms out at the elbows, this signals that they are holding back on their hugs. To be fair, they may be welcoming you, but they are likely not particularly interested to meet you.
Your posture, or the way you hold yourself, isn’t always easy to control, which can make it hard to read. It can still offer some insight, particularly when it differs from how a person usually carries themselves.
• Leaning back on a wall or other support
• Leaning into a conversation or toward someone
• Standing up straight, sometimes with hands on hips
• Standing straight with hands at the sides
• Resting the head in one hand
• Tilting the head or body to one side
Open posture: exposes the trunk of the body. This position conveys friendliness, openness, and readiness.
Closed posture: entails hunching forward and crossing the arms and knees. This body language may convey animosity, unfriendliness, and anxiousness.
It’s important to keep in mind that body language is not universal. Several things can impact how someone both uses and reads body language
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Psychological differences
Cultural differences
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Certain mental health conditions can impact someone’s body language.
Someone with social anxiety might find it extremely hard to meet and hold someone’s gaze, for example.
Howie Mandel
People who prefer to avoid touching others may not shake hands or embrace when greeting someone. Being aware of boundaries some people may have around casual touch can help you avoid assuming someone dislikes you.
Someone’s cultural background can have a big influence on how they use and read body language.
Qatar, Yemen, Oman, United Arab Emirates
Cambodia, India, Nepal, Laos, Thailand, and Japan
Leslie Martin, PhD, of Wake Forest University's counseling center, found that of the 37 percent who reported lying, most did so "to protect themselves in some way — mostly to avoid shame or embarrassment, to avoid painful emotions and to avoid being judged.
Increased eye contact
Touching the nose
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frozen posture
Licking the lips
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When it comes to detecting lies , people often focus on body language. while body language signals can sometimes hint at deception, research suggest that many expected behaviors are not always associated with lying
Other studies have shown that while a individuals behavior is useful to indicate deception, some of the most often linked to lying (such as eye movements) are among the worst predictors. while body language can be a useful tool in the detection of lies, the key is to understand which signals to pay attention to.
body language may be helpful, it is important to pay attention to the right signals. However, some experts suggest that relying too heavily on certain signals may impair the ability to detect lies
STORY TIME !
38:40 - 39:00
“As Will Smith sat down, the first thing we notice is that he does what we call a chin thrust. This is a classic gesture of power and dominance, like animals do when defending their young. We can also see flared nostrils, extended eye contact, which are signs of genuine anger. We also see him flash a micro-expression of disgust, in this instance his nostrils tail in as if he has sensed a bad smell."
“Will, on the other hand, made a slightly loose laugh and leaned back in his chair, which is a sign of tension or uneasiness."
“The joke targeting Jada’s shaved head following her battle with the disease, clearly made her uncomfortable and she showed signs in her face of awkwardness and disgust after being embarrassed in front of her peers and the world.
Chris Rock's posture showed he clearly 'wasn't expecting what was about to happen as Smith got up on stage, and that there were signs he may have thought the confrontation was a 'prank'.
his hands behind his back displayed a position of authority, like many police officers, politicians, and other empowered people stand in certain situations.
"He was also exposing most of his body and vital organs, a sign that there didn’t seem to be any imminent danger so he must have thought it was going to be a prank.
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