AWF Bishop and Cabinet Dialogue

OVERVIEW - Morning

• Introduction

• Escape Strategies

• Dialogue

• AWF CC - Process and Q&A

THANK YOU!!!

Rev. Dr. M. Scott Hughes

Director of Adult Discipleship (Discipleship Ministries)

Elder North Georgia Conference

M. Div. Asbury Theological Seminary

D. Min. SMU

shughes@umcdiscipleship.org

Courageous Conversations as structured dialogues for learning

Nathanael - John 1

Name an experience that was so disruptive it caused you to reassess an assumption?

¶219 Mutual Responsibility

"Faithful discipleship includes the obligation to participate in the corporate life of the congregation with fellow members of the body of Christ. A member is bound in sacred covenant to shoulder the burdens, share the risks, and celebrate the joys of fellow members. A Christian is called to speak the truth in love, always ready to confront conflict in the spirit of forgiveness and reconciliation."

ESCAPE STRAGIES

When we just don't want to go there

"The bargain of dialogue is that we all agree to be changed together. It is a 'one, two, go' jump into the learning process. But there are always some who back off at the last minute."

Group Escape Strategies

Fight Avoidance

Flight Avoidance

Pairing Avoidance

Dependency Avoidance

Individual Escape Strategies

Tenacity

Factumptionism

Distancing

Reductionism

ME

YOU

DIALOGUE

• Preface

• Covenant

Covenant

We will carefully listen to one another so that no one dominates.

We will be careful not to judge one another.

We will seek to understand before we are understood.

We are not here to change one another’s positions.

We will ask questions.

We will speak our truth in love.

We will assume trust not suspicion.

We will protect the confidentiality of the conversation.

DIALOGUE

• Preface

• Covenant

• Rule for dialogues

Rules

One minute of silent refelction before dialogue begins

Minute of silence begins following the chime

Only the person with the talking stick talks

Once the person is done talking, raise your hand to receive the talking stick

Talking stick must go around once

DIALOGUE - Practice

What is your happiest family memory?

DIALOGUE 1

What are your biggest fears about having this conversation today?

Confidence Level

Jesus agrees with me

Not real sure

Confident

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

DIALOGUE 2

What is at stake for you in this conversation about LGBTQ inclusion?

DIALOGUE 3

What are the weaknesses in your position?

What are the strengths of someone else's position?

BREAK

DIALOGUE 4

What are your hopes for the United Methodist Church?

Talk Back

What is one or two things you've heard this morning that stick with you?

Confidence Level

Has your confidence level changed at all?

Backfire Effect

Debrief about the Process

Three Feeling Words

How did you experience the process?

OVERVIEW - Sessions

• Goals and Covenant

• Session Outline

• Other Resources

• End with communion

Goals

Inviting members of the AWF Conference into a safe space for learning, respectful, and Christ honoring conversation around the issue of human sexuality/LGBTQ people and our church by:

• Growing as a covenant community founded in God’s grace and love
• Establishing a space to seek to understand before being understood
• Seeking the mind of Christ as we listen to God and one another
• Laying the groundwork for the greater conversations at Annual Conference and being informed about the Way Forward Commission
• Learning to have difficult conversations in a God honoring way

Covenant

We will carefully listen to one another so that no one dominates.

We will be careful not to judge one another.

We will seek to understand before we are understood.

We are not here to change one another’s positions.

We will ask questions.

We will speak our truth in love.

We will assume trust not suspicion.

We will protect the confidentiality of the conversation.

Things NOT to say/do

• Say “you people” a lot
• Use “you” statements and never “I” statements
• Generalize/Stereotype at every
• Think what would Michael Scott/Archie Bunker say in this situation

Things NOT to say/do

• When someone else is speaking use this opportunity to formulate your attack
• Name call at every opportunity
• Call people out on Twitter
• Periscope/Facebook Live this conversation
• When all else fails, say, “God told me so!”

Lexicon

Bibliography

Categories

• How to Have Conversation
• Crucial Conversations
• Anatomy of Peace
• Topic of Human Sexuality
• Unity of the Church and Human Sexuality by GBHEM

Looking ahead

• What are you hearing? (fears?)

• How do you see this as worthwhile?

• Spreading the word

How is this about discipleship?

• Skills are transferrable
• Learning
• Witness