TOB

What do you think TOB classes are going to be like?

What is Theology of the Body?

Theology = the study of God

SO...

TOB = The study of God and our purpose in life as revealed through our bodies!

Why is the Body a “Theology”?

• God created the body as a “sign” of his own divine mystery
• God = eternal exchange of love - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit - he has destined us to share in that exchange.”
• How?
• Through the beauty of sexual difference
• Spousal love
• Edpuzzle - Why God gave us bodies

What is Theology of the Body? (cont.)

• 135 Wednesday Homilies by St. John Paul II from 1979-1984
• Adequate Anthropology
• Explains the relationship between the human body and God’s Divine plan.
• Informs us of God's original plan for our bodies, sexuality, marriage, and the meaning of life and not that of modern times.

Where did this idea come from?

• Working with young engaged couples who were trying to live faithfully the Church's teachings on marriage and sexuality

More background on TOB

Map that answers these questions (and others):

• Who am I?
• What is my purpose in life?
• Why did God make me male or female?
• How can I find true happiness here on earth?
• How can I find Love that really satisfies me?

What is the goal of teaching you TOB?

• To learn what Jesus' love on the cross and sexual love have in common
• To learn more about your identity and how to express your sexuality in the way God intended
• To learn about God's plan for relationships
• To learn the WHY behind the WHAT of some of the most challenging teachings of the Church regarding sexuality

Not the only message...

OR

Keep trying until you're ___ enough

Stop trying. You ARE enough.

• The reality of TOB speaks of a far greater dignity than the world could ever offer
• Canvas: Ch. 1 Reflection Questions

"You are not who 'they' say you are. Let me remind you of who you really are.'"

We are made for LOVE!

• A "body" enables us to love and be loved
• Ultimately we are made for union with God.
• LOVE images God, we image God, Sooo???
• Dignity
• Canvas: Love Questions

Love equals Communion

• God = Communion of persons
• Lover and a beloved
• Not meant to be alone!
• God created us male and female so we can image his love and be a sincere gift of self
• This is how we share in God's love
• God desires an intimate relationship with us

Not Meant to Be Alone

• Designed for love
• Adam with no Eve.....Sad, poor Adam
• Original Solitude
• Genesis 2:18 - It is not good that man should be alone
• No "body" = some "body"
• To be human = body and soul intimately united
• Body expresses what is inside
• Sacramentality of the body
• Canvas: Social Media and Loneliness

More than human love

• Created for union with God
• Intimate human love points to this
• God desires a relationship with us
• Sometimes hard to believe
• St. John Paul II and suffering
• Learned God had not abandoned him
• Learned he has a plan of hope and freedom for us

The Battle for Love

• Confused about the meaning of love and sexuality
• Society = sex OBSESSED
• Does society's depiction of sex reveal authentic love?
• Answer is revealed in God's original design for our bodies and souls
• Sexuality = gift in which we can be generous or selfish
• Society = selfish desires
• Church = generous desires
• Love is confused with lust
• Lust is not the same as sexual attraction

Oh how the times have changed!

Today

1950s

Sexual Revolution 1960s:

• Why?
• Wanted "freedom" of sexual expression
• Sexual liberation = more sex outside of marriage
• Pre-marital and extra-marital sex
• Effects?
• Sexually explicit material, the pill, rise in contraception, legalization of abortion, increase in disease, exploitation of women (to name a few)

Why don't we notice?

• Cultural desensitization: gradually desensitized to sexually explicit material

Crawfish in the pot

The Current Condition

How does this affect me?

• We are not immune to the messages of our culture
• Affects the way we view relationships and the way we view our bodies (both women and men!)
• We fail to see how valuable the body and sex are!

To Begin...

• Original Sin
• Plunged the world into sin, suffering, shame, lust, selfishness and death
• Original Man

Naked Without Shame

• Second creation story
• Dominion
• Sexual desire = pure
• Not confusion between love and lust
• Sex is not "bad" or "dirty"
• To love in the image of God
• Pure desire to give to the other
• Self-gift or total self-donation
• Original Nakedness
• Original Innocence
• Naked without Shame
• "At last this is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh"
• Shame
• Shameless****

Canvas: Without Shame vs. Shameless

Spousal Meaning of the Body

• Spousal meaning of the body
• Made for each other
• Mirrors the life-giving love of God
• Original Unity
• Bodies and wills in perfect harmony
• Allows them to love rightly and easily
• Genesis 2:24 - Core teaching regarding marriage
• "Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh."
• Genesis 2:25
• "The man and his wife were both naked, and were not ashamed."
• Participation without shame
• Original happiness

Family of Love

• Genesis 1:28
• "Be fruitful and multiply"
• Union of Adam and Eve was a life-giving exchange of love
• God wanted Adam and Eve to enjoy sexual intimacy
• God gave this to them as a gift!
• Trinity - communion of persons

The Big Lie

• Adam and Eve questioned God's motives
• Tricked by serpent
• God wasn't trustworthy and loving
• Ate of the fruit in direct defiance of a command
• Satan wanted them to believe God didn't want them to be happy
• Convinced Adam and Eve they would be miserable
• God's law would bring sadness not joy
• The essence of their sin was the lack of trust in God
• Wanted to decide for themselves - their will over God's

The Big Lie Cont.

• Grasp at what feels like love then discover it's not
• Regrets, doubt that love is possible
• Pride
• Rupture was formed between human body and soul
• Realized they were naked, original innocence shattered
• Fear and lust enter
• "The truth of original sin explains...that a human being encountering a person of the other sex does not simply and spontaneously experience 'love', but a feeling muddied by the longing to enjoy." PJP II
• Our duty to love and not just enjoy
• Original sin explains why we sometimes don't fall into true, authentic love (sacrificial love)
• Historical Man

Concupiscence

• Concupiscence
• Tendency to sin
• Inverts love as "self gift" and made it all about "self gain" (Ex. the way society views sex)
• Desire to be lustful and seek sexual gratification
• It affects every single person in society
• Examples: broken families, broken hearts, sexual abuse, addictions, infidelity, shame, and regret

What is love?

• What do you think love is?
• "For love is not merely a feeling; it is an act of will that consists of preferring, in a constant manner, the good of others to the good of oneself." - PJP II
• Can't judge the value of love by the intensity of the emotion
• Not enough to feel "attraction"
• Must strive to know what is best for the other

What is love? (Cont.)

• Real love is....
• Total self-donation

How does this show real love?

Humans Deserve Love

• Personalistic Norm
• Love is about giving and receiving
• 4 aspects of love
• Love as attraction
• Recognizing the good of another, inner and outer beauty
• Love as desire
• Wanting good for yourself through desiring union with another
• Love as goodwill
• Willing (desiring) the good of another
• Spousal love
• Giving yourself completely to the other

Willing the Good of Another

• Love requires us to do what is best for the other in a relationship
• Jesus came to reveal love and to teach us how to love like God
• Agape
• Eros
• "If we grow in purity of heart we can experience the fullness of eros, which implies the upward impulse of the human spirit toward what is true, good, and beautiful, so that what is erotic also becomes true, good, and beautiful." -PJP II
• Goal of purity is not to extinguish desires, but to enflame them with God's love

Loving vs. Using

• Utilitarianism
• Not always intentional
• Maximizing pleasure and minimizing pain
• Pleasing yourself at the expense of others
• God's love is life-giving and does not bring guilt, depression, loneliness, or heartbreak

Canvas: Loving vs. Using

Loving vs. Using: Hookup Cuture

• "The opposite of love is not hatred. It is use." - JPII
• In our utilitarian society, relationships are often based on seeking pleasure for one's own gain (lust).
• Edpuzzle: The Culture of Netflix and Chill

Love vs. Lust

Love

Lust

• Gifts
• Open to life
• Seeks communion
• Sees a person
• Other focused
• Lasting
• Builds

• Grasps
• Closed to life
• Seeks only pleasure
• Sees parts
• Self-focused
• Temporary
• Breaks

Chastity

• Chastity
• Learning to love rightly!
• Virtue
• Temperance
• Abstinence
• Chastity is not merely learning to control desires but learning to love rightly
• Says yes to love while fighting the selfish desires of lust
• Sexual repression
• Unhealthy response to the sexual gift (or indulgence)

Love

• As humans we not only desire love, but we EXPRESS love!
• Why do we need to know our love language?
• Because we tend to express OUR primary love language NOT our spouse's
• We become confused when they don't respond!
• We must learn to effectively

Canvas: Love Language

Songs - Can you tell the difference between love and lust?

Canvas - Songs: Love or Lust

Marriage

• According to the dictionary, Marriage is the state of being united to a person in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law .
• Marriage in the Roman Catholic Church, also called matrimony, is the "covenant by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life and which is ordered by its nature to the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring", and which "has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament between the baptized."

Canvas: The Purposes of Marriage

Within marriage love must be...

• Free
• Not controlled or manipulated by another or by disordered desires
• Total
• Love without conditions, holding nothing back, gift of oneself
• Faithful
• Committed
• Fruitful
• Life-giving because it is free, total and faithful, procreation

Wedding Vows

This is a picture from my wedding!

• FTFF are parts of the wedding vows and promises made by husbands and wives
• FTFF as they apply to sexual intimacy
• If you remove any one of them it will no longer be what God intended
• Not a list of rules to be enforced or followed by the Church
• Love already speaks FTFF because God created love this way
• Our hearts are designed to accept this type of love
• When lived out sincerely we become visible images of Christ's love

**FTFF stands for free, total, faithful, fruitful

A Match Made in Heaven

Where do you see free, total, faithful, and fruitful?

Canvas - FTFF: Jackie and Bobby Angel

The Two Shall Become One

• The Church is not opposed to sex
• Did you know....
• Canopy often built over the altar resembles the canopy over a marriage bed?
• Symbolism =
• On the altar during Mass, the Bridegroom (Christ) gives his body (Eucharist) to his Bride (Church) so that we may have eternal life
• When husbands and wives renew their love and their wedding vows, which is done through sex, also known as their one-flesh union

My wedding

The Two Shall Become One Cont.

• When a man and woman get married they BECOME a sacrament
• Sign of God's love for their spouse
• Eucharist and somewhat Holy Orders
• In Persona Christi Capitis
• Wife and husband express their love through FTFF
• Sacredness of sexuality
• Bible is full of analogies regarding marriage
• Marriage makes God visible in the world
• Sexual morality
• Am I expressing God's love in a free, total, faithful, and fruitful way through my body?

Spousal Vows of Love vs. Christ's Example of Love

Compare

with

• Will you accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?
• Have you come here freely to give yourselves to each other in marriage?
• Will you love and honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?
• Have you come here without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?

• "I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." Jn 10:10
• "I lay down my life...No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord." Jn 20:17-18
• "I am with you always, to the close of the age." Mt 28:20
• "Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." Jn 15:13

The Crucifixion: Jesus' Bodily Love and Gift

• Free: Jesus could have escaped the pain of sacrificing his life for us, but he freely chose to obey his Father and freely give his all.
• Total: Jesus stretched his arms out on the cross. "He emptied himself - And being found in human form he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even death on a cross." (Psalm 2:7-8)
• Faithful: Jesus was faithful to God's will and to each of us. He faithfully chose to love every moment of his suffering and faithfully gave us his all.
• Fruitful: Jesus' life and death was fruitful. His life brought heaven to earth and his death brought life to us. Adam's life brought death and Jesus' death brought life.

How does society view marriage?

Canvas: Society and Marriage

The Church and Marriage

Canvas:

"Church and Marriage" and then "Ephesians 5"

Language of Sexuality

• Culture saturated with sexual images, lyrics, innuendos, jokes, stories, actions, etc.
• Often deceived into thinking that our deepest desires will be met by sexual pleasure
• Need to learn a new language to counteract language of sexuality

Language of the Body

• Language of the body
• Not the same as "body language"
• The body is capable of telling truth as well as lies - just like we do with words
• Language of "divine love" is body's native language
• Meant to speak the truth about the meaning of the body
• When we love as God created us to love = we speak truth
• In marriage that language is FTFF

Awkward moments

The Promise of the Body

• Language of sexual intimacy only true when it expresses marital love
• "I am completely yours. I belong to you."
• Unmarried couples may be PHYSICALLY doing what married couples do, but they are lying with their body
• No marriage commitment
• Dating or hooking up = no life-long promise
• Not making a "total gift of self"
• Intentions may be "good" but actions still express a lie in the language of their bodies
• No responsibilities or commitments but want to experience one of the joys of marriage
• Sex = the MARITAL act

Language of Creative, Faithful Love

• 50% of all marriages end in divorce
• Infidelity
• Must learn to speak the truth with your body now
• Purity and self- control
• Must learn to be faithful to the language of the body
• Married couples = one-flesh union
• Results in the creation of new life
• We are co-creators with God
• Holy Spirit creates life through the gift of sexual intimacy
• In order for the language of the body to be true, it must be open to the Holy Spirit's creative presence

Which part(s) of TRUE sex are the following examples missing?

Fornication

• Fornication
• Sex outside of marriage (including oral!)
• Adultery
• Married person having sex with someone who is not their spouse
• Common objection by society:
• "If we love each other, why is it wrong?"
• Discussion:
• How does sex outside of marriage violate FTFF?
• How is fornication risky?

How far is too far before marriage?

• "How far is too far" - why is this the wrong question to ask?
• What suggested guidelines does Jackie give?
• Are these tips practical in your opinion? Why or why not?
• What advice/guidelines would you give to someone?

Contraception

• Contraception = DELIBERATE attempt before, during, after sex to prevent life (conception)
• Objection:
• "We are being responsible. We are not ready for a child yet. Why is this wrong?"
• Discussion:
• How does this violate the vows of marriage (FTFF)?
• What is the alternative?

Alternative to Contraception

Natural Family Planning

(Audio clip)

Answer as you listen:

1. What is Natural Family Planning?

2. Why does the Church view contraception as immoral?

3. How is NFP different from just a “Catholic contraceptive”?

After you listen, discuss with your pod and then as a class

Natural Family Planning

• Canvas: Myth vs. Reality

Pornography

• Pornography = sexually explicit depiction of persons (including images and words!)
• Objection:
• "It's just fantasy. What harm is it causing anyone?"
• Discussion:
• Why is porn more than fantasy?
• Who does it hurt?
• How does pornography violate FTFF?

Pre-medial optic nucleus

Pornography

• Canvas: The story of Jennifer Lawrence
• Class discussion

Evolution of Dating

• Modern concept of dating = just over 100 yrs old
• Family used to be heavily involved in the dating life of their child

• What happened to change dating?
• CARS!
• The family was cut out of the dating process
• Now a guy can come pick you up
• Dating with the goal of marriage fell out of sight

Dating with a purpose

DISCUSSION: How old were you when you had your first crush?

Society - Dating has become something seen more as recreational than purposeful.

Reality - Purpose of dating is to discern who you are called to marry = intentional & purposeful

The

Relationship Pyramid

(Read from the bottom up)

What is our culture's "relationship pyramid"?

Why does this not work?

Dating with a purpose continued

DISCUSSION: What are some risks in seeing dating as merely recreational?

• “High Risk" Dating = Moving too quickly both physically and emotionally
• The problem is, these relationships often don't last because there is no foundation and we risk experiencing hurt and heart break.

Dating with a purpose continued again

Courtship = A period of getting to know a person before jumping into a romantic relationship (a.k.a. Intentional friendship!)

• It involves spending time with each other's friends and family in order to really get to know the person.

Chastity in Dating

• It is important to set good boundaries.
• Remember that guys and girls are wired differently so it is good to be honest and clear at the beginning.
• Setting Good Boundaries
• Be aware of your surroundings
• What is the language of your body saying? (both intentional and unintentional)
• Don't start a car you aren't going to drive
• AKA sexual arousal = body preparing for sex
• Be honest with them = they should be desiring your purity as well as his!
• Practice = surround yourself with good friends

Is cuddling ok?

Is he a keeper?

How can you make sure to attract Mr. Right?

(Or just call Mrs. Bordelon - she'll tell you )

When might it be time to say goodbye?