Essential Question:
Upstairs Brain, Downstairs Brain
How do the different parts of our brain control our behavior?
The Whole-Brain Child
The Unfinished Upstairs
Setting Appropriate Expectations For Your Children
The Mental Staircase
Integrating the Upstairs & Downstairs Brains
Even though we want to help build this metaphorical staircase (downstairs brain connecting to upstairs brain), there are two important reasons to maintain realistic expectations when it comes to integration.
While the downstairs brain is well developed even at birth
The Baby Gate of the Mind
The Amygdala Made Me Do It!
Upstairs isn't developed to full potential until the mid-twenties.
Imagine your brain was a house.
We have talked about the right brain and the left brain.
Cerebral Cortex
The Amygdala is about the size and shape of an almond and is part of the limbic area
Full perspective
Controlled
Sophisticated
QUICKLY
process and express emotions
Fear
Now we are going to look at it from bottom to top
Anger
Primitive
Brain stem
Basic functions
The upstairs of a house has skylights that allow you to see things more clearly.
Innate reactions
Limbic Region
Strong emotions
Watchdog
Always remaining alert for times when we might feel threatened
The Hand Model
Sound Decision Making & Planning
When the amygdala senses danger, it can completely take over, not allowing access to the upstairs brain.
Sometimes it is a good idea to
ACT
THINK
But not for everyday situations
The problem, though, is that especially in children, the amygdala frequently fires up and blocks the stairway connecting the
and
DOWNSTAIRS
UPSTAIRS
It is as if a baby gate has been latched at the bottom of the staircase connecting the downstairs to the upstairs, making the upstairs inaccessible.
Balancing Emotions and the Body
The Tantrum
Self-understanding and Reflection
Empathy (seeing things from another person's perspective)
The tantrum can be one of the most unpleasant parts of parenting.
Morality (understanding right and wrong)
So, what do you do when your child has
There are two types of tantrums
Nurturing
The Downstairs Tantrum
The Upstairs Tantrum
Comforting
A downstairs tantrum is completely different.
DECIDES
The child is no longer able to use the upstairs brain
Stress hormones flood the body
Conscious choice
Empathizing
Loss of emotional control
Trying to push buttons
Manipulation
Incapable of making choices or seeing logic
In control of emotions
No access to upstairs brain
NEVER NEGOTIATE WITH A TERRORIST!
Access the upstairs brain
THE CHILD HAS FLIPPED HIS LID
Fight/Flight/Freeze
Autonomic Functions (breathing, blinking, instincts)
Engage, Don't Enrage
Sensory Memories
Use It or Lose It
Strong Emotions (fear, anger, excitement, joy)
Basic needs are met in the downstairs of a house
Move It or Lose It
Acting Before Thinking