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This was getting to be a really interesting essay when it suddenly finished! You are about 30 words short of the word limit of 250 words you should be aiming for, so you have room to add a couple of sentences to round this off. I would have liked to know more about the role the government AND individuals could play in solving environmental problems.
In terms of language, you are successful in achieving a formal, academic style that is just right for this type of writing task. You are also well-informed on the topic, which is why I was enjoying it so much! The layout and organisation are also appropriate.
All in all, this was interesting to read. Just remember in the exam to make the most of the number of words you're allowed to write.
You must:
Title: Report into ...
Paragraph Titles:
Fixed introduction:
The aim of this report is to evaluate/
put forward ideas for/examine etc.
You have been asked to write a report for the World Information Organisation on the following topic:
What are the greatest threats to the environment in your country today?
What are the solutions?
Write your report. (220-260 words)
Threats to the environment in Poland
Introduction
The aim of this report is to describe the greatest dangers for the natural environment in Poland.
Water
One of the biggest sources of water pollution are fertilisers. Most of it with rain water floats from fields into rivers and further on into the Baltic Sea. Fertilisers are causing the overgrow of seaweed, which leads to lack of oxygen in the sea and extinction of a number of water species.
A solution to this problem could be the reduction of field manure and better agricultural education for farmers.
Air
Slask is a region of Poland of the poorest air quality. High concentration of ashes and sulphur dioxide from factories is causing acid rains, which damage soil and all species of plants.
The solution, which is the installation of filters reducing the emission of harmful substances into air, does not solve the problem. This is because of the fact that Slask is placed in one of the most industrialised regions of Europe and of strong winds that occur there and bring pollution from other countries and otherwise.
Conclusion
These are only few of the dangers for the environment in Poland. Many actions to solve this problem has already been taken but this is obvious that they will not have any bigger effect, unless the governments and average citizens cooperate.
An inversion (not only/no sooner/seldom)
An inverted conditional (Were we to…)
A participle clause (Being…/Having gone…)
A double comparative (The more we… the more)
A cleft sentence (What is most crucial is…)
Linkers (Nevertheless/despite/due
to/consequently)
Impressive verbs (bring about change/undergo
development)
State how you got the information in your report.
I conducted a series of interviews with concerned locals/parents/professionals ...
My team and I conducted a social experiment which ran throughout the month of May.
The information presented in this report was gathered via a survey I organised in May.
The purpose/aim of this report is to….
This report sets out to…
The report will comment on…
Below is an explanation of…
The focus of this report is…
This report will offer an in depth critique of…
Fake survey/questionnaire:
It can be a good idea to base the report on a survey/questionnaire.
This report will present the findings of/This report is based
on the findings/results of an extensive survey completed by…
Ending Introduction:
1. It will go on to give recommendations regarding…
Example Introduction
The aim of this report is to evaluate the current state of….. This report is based on the results of an extensive survey
completed by (students at … school). It will present the results of the survey and go on to give recommendations
regarding…
Weaknesses
Despite the strengths mentioned above, there are also
some areas that require attention.
… is failing to live up to expectations because…
Another clear weakness is…
… leaves a lot to be desired
… is not up to the required standard
Conclusion:
Advantages/disadvantages:
…’s advantages clearly outweigh its disadvantages.
advantages
benefits/pros/strengths
disadvantages
downsides/weaknesses/drawbacks
Giving Recommendations:
Strengths:
The (school system) in this country undoubtedly has many
strengths such as …. And…
… is particularly effective due to the fact that…
… has achieved impressive results owing to …
Another clear strong point is…
… is something the country can be proud of due to…
Survey Results: