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Social Intelligence

Adapted from a presentation by Nicole Sharer
by

LeeAnne Sipe

on 26 July 2013

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Transcript of Social Intelligence

The Snap-On Smile
S
Situational Awareness
The ability to observe & understand the context of a situation and to understand the ways in which the situation dominates or shapes the behavior of the people in it
Situational Dumbness
and Numbness
Being unaware in a situation
Reading the Social Context
Being aware of the context and the meanings they create
1.Proxemic Context 2.Behavioral Context 3.Semantic Context
The dynamic of the physical space within people are interacting
The patterns of action, emotion, motivation, and intention that show up in interactions among the people in the situation
Patterns of language used which signal the nature of the relationships
Building the Skills of
Situational Awareness
Learn by watching other people
P
P = Presence
Definition: the way you communicate with individuals or groups of people through
physical appearance, mood and demeanor, body language, occupy space in a room
Look the Part
Physical Apperance:
Body Language:
Mood and Demeanor:
Emotional Demeanor ≈ Emotional Intelligence
Is Charisma Over Rated?
"I will do this, not for what it gets me, but for what it allows me to give."
Think-Pair-Share: Discuss a time when your first impression of someone was completely wrong or when someone’s first impression of you was completely wrong. Why might this have occurred?
The S.P.A.C.E. Model
Social Intelligence
A
C
E
stands for
Clarity
A person’s ability to express thoughts, opinions, ideas, and intentions clearly and with impact. The way of using metaphors can help you get ideas across to others and improving vocabulary can help better articulate thought and intentions.
A way with words
Ex: “One consequence is that there is an emergent triumphalism among market fundamentalists that has assumed an attitude of infallibility and arrogance that has led its adherents to be dismissive and contemptuous of values that are not monetized if they don’t fit into their ideology.”
Hoof-in-Mouth Disease:
Sometimes Silence Works Best
"Clean" vs. "Dirty" Language
Understand your audience
The Power of Metaphor
Building the Skills
of Clarity
Stands for
Empathy
The skill of building connections with people - the capacity to get people to meet you on a personal level of respect and willingness to cooperate.
What destroys empathy?
3 A's
1. Attentiveness
2. Appreciation
3. Affirmations
Moment-to-Moment Experience of Connecting With People
What builds empathy?
OPPORTUNITIES TO BUILD EMPATHY
The "Maintenance” Process
Contact: The First Four Minutes - Leonard Zunin
• Toxic Behavior
• Abrasive Personalities
The Golden Rule v2.0
“Do unto others as others prefer to be done unto.”
Authenticity
Definition: a state which reveals how honest and sincere you are with people and yourself, in any given situation.
It’s a Beautiful day in the SI (Social Intelligence) Neighborhood
Can you fake sincerity?
Take a
Tip from
Popeye
Building Authenticity
"He's a loose cannon."
"He is an unpredictable or uncontrolled person who is likely to cause unintentional damage."
1. Official 2. Artificial 3. Earned
Types of Charisma:
Charisma comes with the territory more than the persons themselves
Charisma "created" for the media
Keep track of situations in which others
try to induce you to act
inauthentically
Summary:
How aware are you of your surroundings?
What social and behavioral cues alert us to how we should approach unique situations?
Would you want to hang out with you?
Study how you converse with others. Are there ways you speak that you want to change?
Think about your primary values, the things you hold dear.
Are you behaving in ways that actualize those values?
Apply knowledge (True Colors, MBTI, Strengths) to best to convey ideas with people of other personality types.
How do you present your ideas?
Are you considerate of other’s feelings? Can you tune in and identify with others?
How could you effectively connect as an introvert?
Questions?
Which do you think is true?
1. People who talk a lot are interesting and have good social skills.

2. Introverts are socially unskilled.

3. A good education and hard work are all you need to succeed at work and life. Good social skills aren't as important.
TRICK QUESTION!
ALL of these statements are EQUALLY false!
1. Talking a lot isn't a social skill at all! People may start avoiding those who talk too much.
Over-talkative
people can be seen as
selfish
,
rude
, or
boring
.

2. Both
introverts
and
extroverts
alike can have
excellent
social skills or
very poor
social skills.

3. There are always others around you who can affect your efforts depending on your relationships with them-- for
better
or for
worse
.
The Truth Is...
Presence
Authenticity
Clarity
Empathy
Situational
Full transcript