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Conciseness & Parallel Structure

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Jacquelyn Braceros

on 9 May 2013

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Transcript of Conciseness & Parallel Structure

Jacquelyn Braceros, Matthew Carroll,
Azell Crisostomo, Nabeel Hussain Conciseness & Parallel Structure Conciseness 3) Rewrite a wordy sentence to simplify its structure. Writers often fill sentences with weak or unnecessary words that can be deleted or replaced.

Words and phrases should be deliberately chosen for the work they are doing. Conciseness Rewrite a wordy sentence to reduce the number of clauses and phrases.
Concentrate on turning clauses into phrases or replacing phrases, especially strings of prepositional phrases, with individual words.
Sometimes you can consolidate a series of sentences into one. 1) Eliminate words that do not add to a sentence's meaning. Extra, empty words can creep into a sentence in many ways 2) Eliminate wordy expressions. Ideas can be expressed more directly and forcefully by editing to eliminate there is or there are from the beginning of a sentence, or by changing from the passive to the active voice. The goal of concise writing is to use the most effective words. Concise writing does not always have the fewest words, but it always uses the strongest ones. Although intensifiers such as very, really, clearly, quite and of course can strengthen statements, eliminating them or substituting more forceful words is often more effective. Parallel structure means using the same pattern of words to show that two or more ideas have the same level of importance. Use parallel form to present items as a pair or in a series. 1) Each item in a series must follow the same grammatical pattern as the other items. 2) Both items in a pair must follow the same grammatical pattern. Items in a pair are usually linked by and or or. Example Proofreading Strategies to try:
Skim your paper, pausing at the words "and" and "or." Check on each side of these words to see whether the items joined are parallel. If not, make them parallel.

If you have several items in a list, put them in a column to see if they are parallel.

Listen to the sound of the items in a list or the items being compared. Their car is gassed up. It is ready for the long drive. The drive will take all night. Parallel
Structure Parallelism Items in a series are usually linked by and or or. Each item should be parallel to the others, presented as a noun, an infinitive, a gerund, or another grammatical form. They feel that using force is more comprehensible to the children than abstract consequences. 3) In a comparison using than or as, the items must use the same grammatical form. 4) Use parallel form for items joined by correlative conjunctions. Game time: Example One of the best examples of an athlete being completely overexposed is that of Michael Phelps. Rewritten Sentence Michael Phelps is an excellent example of an overexposed athlete. There are always two or three ducks walking around campus. Two or three ducks are always walking around campus. 4) Eliminate unnecessary intensifiers, hedges or prepositions. Writers use hedges such as apparently, seem, perhaps, possibly, to a certain extent, tend and somewhat to avoid making claims that they cannot substantiate. PAIR Imagine that you and your daughter are walking in the mall or eating in a popular restaurant. SERIES By implementing this proposal, administrators could enhance the reputation of the university with quality publications, plays, concerts, and sports teams. SERIES OF
PHRASES An interruption has the potential to disrupt turns at talk, to disorganize the topic of conversation, and to violate the current speaker's right to talk. noun: A word that names a specific or general thing, person, place, concept, characteristic, or other idea. infinitive: A verb form consisting of the word to plus the base form of the verb: to run gerund: A verb form that is used as a noun and ends in -ing: arguing, throwing. Example Example Unnecessary Intensifier

The plot of this movie is really great.

Unnecessary Hedge

In most cases, realistic characteristics tend to undermine comedy's primary function of making us laugh at exaggerated character traits.

Unnecessary Preposition

Nothing happened, and my doctor ordered for them to stop inducing labor. If a word following a preposition is the object of the verb, the preposition may be unecessary. thrilling Realistic often Example While Maddox is growing up, he is told of things he should do and things not to do. While Maddox is growing up, he is told of things he should do and things he should not do. Mary likes hiking, swimming and to ride her bike. Mary likes hiking, swimming, and riding her bike. Example They feel that using force is more comprehensible to the children than threatening abstract consequences. At that time, the person is surprised not only about where he is but also unable to account for what has happened. At that time, the person is surprised not only about where he is but also about what has happened. Government leaders like to mention the creation of new jobs. They claim that these new jobs indicate a strong economy. They don't mention that low wage jobs without benefits and security have replaced many good jobs. Parallel Structure Directions: Select the sentence that illustrates the use of proper parallel construction. In English class, Tashonda learned to read poems critically and to appreciate good prose.

In English class, Tashonda learned to read poems critically and she appreciated good prose. Directions: Revise the following sentences to use parallel structure. Ellen likes hiking, the rodeo and to take afternoon naps. My dog not only likes to play fetch, but also chase cars. Thank you Conciseness Directions: Combine each sentence group into one concise sentence. "Who wants to be an effective Writer?" Directions: Replace the following with a single word. A large number of despite the fact that He wanted three things out of college: to learn a skill, to make good friends, and to learn about life.

He wanted three things out of college: to learn a skill, to make good friends, and learning about life.
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