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Beowulf Modern Version
Beowulf, A Modern Interpretation
Oreo, king of Sprinkles, has just built the large mead hall, Cookie Jar
Every night the evil Cookie Monster comes to Cookie Jar and eats all of Oreo's Chips Ahoy
After many years of eaten cookies, the young Gingerbread Man arrives, and asks King Oreo for permission to slay the Cookie Monster. He is granted permission and declares that he will use no weapons to make the fight fair.
The Gingerbread Man heads out to slay the Cookie Monster. They get into a gigantic battle, ending with the Gingerbread Man ripping off the Cookie Monster's arm. The Cookie Monster slinks off into the darkness to die.
The Gingerbread Man returns to King Oreo with the Cookie Monster's arm. Everyone celebrates untill Cookie Monster's mother, the Evil Cupcake, comes to exact revenge on the Gingerbread Man.
The Gingerbread Man chases down the Evil Cupcake to a cave under a sea of Hershey's chocolate syrup. It seems as if the Evil Cupcake will be the victor untill the Gingerbread Man grabs a DumDum lollipop from inside the cave. This lollipop used to belong to the Giant M&Ms, and is the only thing that can kill her. The Gingerbread Man ends her life with that lollipop.
After he has won the battle, the Gingerbread Man returns to Candyland, his homeland.
He shares his gifts that he had recieved from King Oreo with his cousin King Muffin.
King Muffin picks a fight with a nearby country called Hostess. He, and many others are slain; the Gingerbread man then becomes King of Candyland.
Many years later, a stick of bubblegum steals a golden cup from the Evil Twinkie. The angry Twinkie begins to kill the pastries of Candyland in an act of revenge.
The Gingerbread Man, now an old man, gathers his desserts together to fight the Evil Twinkie.
The Gingerbread man and his followers enter the Twinkie's lair. The Gingerbread Man turns around and is horrified to discover that all his men except one, Drumstick the ice-cream-cone, have deserted him.
The Gingerbread man and Drumstick fight the Evil Twinkie. They defeat the him together, but not before the Evil Twinkie has bitten the Gingerbread Man. The toxic venom from the bite kills him soon after the Twinkie is slayed.
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