All of What Holden Considers Phony

Mr. Thurmer

"She [Selena Thurmer] didn't give you a lot of horse manure about what a great guy her father was. She probably knew what a phony slob he was. " (Salinger 3)

Stradlater's friendliness

"He was at least a pretty friendly guy, Stradlater. It was partly a phony kind of friendly, but at least he always said hello to Ackley and all." (Salinger 26)

Holden's Handshake Towards Ackley

"I didn't want to hang around in that stupid atmosphere any more. I stopped on the way, though, and picked up Ackley's hand, and

gave him a big, phony handshake." (Salinger 50)

Lillian Simmons

"'How marvelous to see you!' old Lillian Simmons said. Strictly a phony. 'How's your big brother?' That's all she really wanted to know" (Salinger 83)

Characters in Magazine Stories

"If I'm on a train at night, I can usually even read one of those dumb stories in a magazine without puking. You know. One of those stories with a lot of phony, lean-jawed guys named David in it, and a lot of phony girls named Linda or Marcia that are always lighting all the goddam Davids' pipes for them." (Salinger 53)

Sally Hayes's Christmas Invitation Letter

"Then I thought of calling this girl I used to go around with quite frequently, Sally Hayes, because I knew her Christmas vacation had started already--she'd written me this long, phony letter, inviting me over to help her trim the Christmas tree Christmas Eve and all..." (Salinger 59)

A Farewell to Arms

"What gets me about D.B., though, he hated the war so much, and yet he got me to read this book A Farewell to Arms last summer. He said it was so terrific. That's what I can't understand. It had this guy in it named Lieutenant Henry that was supposed to be a nice guy and all. I don't see how D.B. could hate the Army and war and all so much and still like a phony like that. I mean, for instance, I don't see how he could like a phony book like that and still like that one by Ring Lardner, or that other one he's so crazy about, The Great Gatsby." (Salinger 141)

Carl Luce

"So what I did finally, I gave old Carl Luce a buzz... I think he was pretty surprised to hear from me. I once called him a fat-assed phony." (Salinger 73)

George 'Something' From Andover

"The worst part was,

the jerk had one of those very phony, Ivy League voices, one of those very tired, snobby

voices."

"The funny part was, they probably met each other just once, at some phony

party. Finally, when they were all done slobbering around, old Sally introduced us. His

name was George something--I don't even remember--and he went to Andover. Big, big

deal." (Salinger 127)

(Salinger 128)

Ernie, the Pianist

"Anyway, when he was finished, and everybody was clapping their heads off, old Ernie turned around on his stool and gave this very phony, humble bow. It was very phony--I mean him being such a big snob and all. " (Salinger 84)

Sally Hayes

" Anyway, I gave her a buzz. First the maid answered. Then her father. Then she got on. 'Sally?' I said. 'Yes--who is this?' she said. She was quite a little phony. I'd already told her father who it was. " (Salinger 106)

Anne Louise Sherman

"I spent the whole night necking with a terrible phony named Anne Louise Sherman." (Salinger 63)

Movies

"You take somebody that cries their goddam eyes out over phony stuff in the movies, and nine times out of ten they're mean bastards at heart. I'm not kidding." (Salinger [after 75])

The Word "Grand"

Ossenburger

"It was named after this guy Ossenburger that went to Pencey... I just see the big phony bastard shifting into first gear and asking Jesus to send him a few more stiffs." (Salinger 16-17)

"Grand. There's a word I really hate. It's a phony. I could puke every time I hear it." (Salinger 9)

Mr. Haas

"For instance, they had this headmaster, Mr. Haas, that was the phoniest bastard I ever met in my life. Ten times worse than old Thurmer. On Sundays, for instance, old Haas went around shaking hands with everybody's parents when they drove up to school. He'd be charming as hell and all. Except if some boy had little old funny-looking parents. You should've seen the way he did with my roommate's parents. I mean if a boy's mother was sort of fat or corny-looking or something, and if somebody's father was one of those guys that wear those suits with very big shoulders and corny black-and-white shoes, then old Hans would just shake hands with them and give them a phony smile and then he'd go talk, for maybe a half an hour, with somebody else's parents. " (Salinger 13-14)

Holden's Phoniness Dictionary

I'm phony too.

EASTER EGG!!!