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But what if, in the clammy soil, her limbs
grew warmer, shifted, stirred, kicked off
the covering of the earth, the drowsing corms,
the sly worms, what if her arms reached out
to grab the stone, the grooves of her dates
under her thumb, and pulled her up? I wish.
Her bare feet walk along the gravel path
between the graves, her shroud like washing
blown into the grass, the petals of her wreath
kissed for a bride. Nobody died. Nobody
wept. Nobody slept who couldn't be woken
by the light. If I can only push open this heavy door
she'll be standing there in the sun, dirty, tired,
wondering why do I shout, why do I run.
She wants someone to come back from death -
"heavy door" a veil between worlds
"why do I shout, why do I run" - is she running towards someone? Or is she running away? if they do come back, it make not be a positive experience
"barefeet" "petals" "bride" - connotations of innocence, did they deserve to die?
"kicking off the covering of earth" - not grotesque image of death, death recent?
"drowsing" "clammy" - she is ill, losing control? wants stability, internal conflict?
So, the poem is a metaphor for her depression (her=persona)
"under her thumb" - under someone's control - under the control of her depression
"nobody died, nobody wept" - she is dead inside, sterile emotion
"kicked off the covering of the earth" - isolated, alone, lost
metaphorical meaning - has she lost someone? Is she talking about companionship through loss? lots of ref. to people coming back from death
multiple references to pain "bare feet on the gravel" - purgatory; walking through their life, the pain of loosing someone, burning off sin from life?
"If I can only push open this heavy door" - its waying
"clammy soil" - claustrophobic, suffocating her - her pain, her grief is suffocating
damp, wounds can't heal, festering
where the repetition of "nobody" death makes you lose your identity, only the memory that others have of you, will keep you alive.
The repetition of "her" implies that no one else owns the person who is dead, severing the ties from life,
Combination of identity and structure -written from the perspective of someone who has lost someone, only until the last line does she speak in third person, in mourning we don't think about ourselves, we think about the person lost, until she switches to first person and then has to think about how this will change her identity going forward.
The poem is written as an Elegy - the third person to first person "If I can only..." depression, she is facing this emotional state, not being consumed by it.
"wondering why do I shout, why do I run" - challenges her own strength to overcome - doesn't realise that she is even being affected, until she stands up to fight for herself
There is another voice, telling her to stand up and fight, that she is not worthless, keeps this person alive by remembering the way they talk
"If I can...." fragile, she is not there yet, not ready to move on, or overcome
"but what if..." a sense of connection to another poem? It is written in conjunction with a personal experience?
The start is slow and sleepy, "kissed for a bride" - building herself a new life, re birth, "washing" - cleansing.
The pace speeds up during the poem until "run" - chronological - linear narrative