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In essence, the relationship was...
Aristocratic. As its name implies, courtly love was practiced by noble lords and ladies
Ritualistic. The lady was wooed according to elaborate conventions of etiquette and was the constant recipient of songs, poems, bouquets, sweet favors, and ceremonial gestures. For all the attention on the part of her lover, she need only return a short hint of approval.
Secret. Courtly lovers were pledged to strict secrecy. The foundation for their affair was that the rest of the world was excluded.
Adulterous. "Fine love"--almost by definition--was extramarital. Indeed one of its principle attractions was that it offered an escape from the dull routines and boring confinements of noble marriage. The troubadours themselves scoffed at marriage.
Literary. Before it established itself in real life, courtly love first gained attention as a subject and theme in imaginative literature. Knights and their passionately adored ladies were already popular figures in songs and fables.
The rules of courtly love are as follows:
http://www.medieval-life-and-times.info/medieval-knights/medieval-courtly-love.htm
http://condor.depaul.edu/dsimpson/tlove/courtlylove.html
http://www.skschools.net/~malper/FOV2-00105477/FOV2-001089B9/Chivalry+and+Courtly+Love
http://sites.fas.harvard.edu/~chaucer/special/lifemann/love/ben-love.htm
http://www.medieval-life-and-times.info/medieval-knights/code-of-chivalry.htm