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While in Recovery

Family Roles of Addiction

Family Systems Model

  • Stay involved in the process

-don’t micromanage

  • Learn to let go

-An addict, while in recovery, is learning to be accountable and be responsible

-An addict does not need the family to remind them of all the mistakes they made.

For families to maintain a balance usually this entails pressure to

  • avoid conflict
  • hostility
  • aggression
  • other things that leads to disharmony

To establish a new homeostasis family therapy offers an opportunity for family to:

• Focus on the expectation of change within the family

• Test new patterns of behavior

• Teach how a family system works, and how to maintain needed roles.

• Learn the strengths and weaknesses of every family member

• Explore the meaning of substance abuse within the family

Co-dependents

Family Roles

Scapegoat

Family Dynamic

Techniques and listening Skills

  • Need to be needed
  • Have a strong urge to control others
  • Fear and resist change
  • Have low self esteem
  • They tend to be “addicted” to their family members addiction.
  • Family support for an individual with an addiction entering recovery is critical to maintain and sustain sobriety.
  • Love and support of the family can give the individual in recovery a much better chance at a successful recovery.
  • Without family support, the chance for relapse increases.
  • A supportive family can help minimize the influence of peers.

  • Addict Mascot
  • Hero Lost Child
  • Scapegoat Enabler

  • The common element in all of the roles is the desire to escape pain, gain self worth, and avoid reality.

  • “Problem child”
  • Creates other issues to direct attention away from the problem
  • Ex: Misbehaving, bad grades, trouble with the law, or even his or her own substance abuse problem
  • The family usually feels ashamed of the scapegoat
  • Usually does a good job at distracting from other problems
  • Attempts at distraction may ultimately lead to his or her own self-destruction.
  • Disarming

-Finding some truth in what the other person is trying to say.

  • Empathy

-Put your self in their shoes and understand where they may be coming from

  • Inquiry

-Asking question to learn more about what the other person may be thinking/ feeling

Co-dependent

  • The overall goal in overcoming codependency is to make each person whole.
  • Some techniques include:
  • Begin with yourself
  • Write a list of your strengths and weaknesses
  • Defining how you wish things were

Family Rules

Challenges of coming home

from treatment

Lost Child

Questions

Addict

Spoken vs. Unspoken Rules

-Examples:

  • Usually what looks good
  • Deny things you don’t want to see
  • Do as I say not as I do
  • Only show the good
  • Never question the behavior, just go with it.

  • Person engaging in negative behavior
  • Center of attention
  • Emotionally detached
  • Acts irresponsibly
  • The individual may be fearful about his/her ability to handle stresses, triggers, cravings and urges
  • May feel vulnerable and lack self-confidence
  • Afraid of making a mistake
  • Desperately needs the support, encouragement, and understanding of family
  • The family needs to provide a substance free environment.
  • Seems to ignore the problem altogether, tries to be invisible
  • Spends most of their time alone daydreaming, reading, or doing something to avoid tension in the home
  • Withdraws from reality, becomes very solitary
  • Usually shy and denies their own feelings and needs
  • Social isolation is common, at a higher risk for suicide

1. True or False. Co-dependents tend to be “addicted” to their family members addiction.

2. True or False. One way to establish a new homeostasis is to learn the strengths and weaknesses of every family member.

3. True or False. An affirmation is a compliment.

4. True or False. A supportive family can help minimize the influence of peers.

Unhealthy Communication

Family Homeostasis

Mascot

Chief Enabler

Questions

  • The “knowns” of the behaviors are more comfortable than the “unknowns”, or unfamiliarity, of changing the family dynamic.
  • Even if the family system is dysfunctional, it is familiar.
  • The family dynamic is self-regulating with the primary goal being to maintain balance.
  • Changing one role in the family effects the balance of the whole family.
  • We are right
  • The problems is their fault
  • Put downs
  • Being demanding

-I deserve better treatment

  • Trying to solve the problem before listening to the other person to understand how they feel.

  • May unintentionally contribute to the addicts addiction
  • Tries to keep balance within the family
  • Makes excuses, defends the addict
  • Good intentions, negative long-term consequences
  • “Family clown”
  • Uses humor as an escape from problems and to prevent pain for themselves and others
  • Will often act out by making jokes or making light of serious situations
  • Main goal is to ease tension, keep the peace, and serve as a distraction; feels guilty when not successful

5. True or False. While in recovery it is important to micromanage the addict.

6. True or False. The main goal of the mascot is to ease tension and keep the peace.

7. True or False. The lost child is sometimes referred to as the problem child.

8. True or False. It doesn't matter if the family has substances in the home when their loved one comes back from rehab.

Family Homeostasis

  • In unhealthy situations, the family roles can become fixed or rigid.
  • The family organizes around the “problem”, or addiction instead of around healthy patterns.
  • This shapes the way the family interacts

Healthy Communication

Family Therapy

Hero

References

The recovery slogan "The only thing that has to change is everything".

  • "Good child"
  • Overachiever
  • Takes on parental responsibilities
  • Does everything "right", pride of the family
  • Approach with honesty and be straight forward .

-Prevents misunderstanding

  • Affirmation

-emotional support or encouragement

-praise for little accomplishments

-these are NOT compliments

  • Empathy

-Step into the other persons shoes

  • Avoid using blaming language.
  • Avoid threats or shameful comments

  • Addresses the interdependent nature of family relationships
  • Focuses on intervening in the complex relational patterns and alter them in a way to bring about positive change.
  • It is important to keep in mind that individual members of the family are not only dealing with the family dynamic, but also have their own lives and stresses to manage.
  • Changing the way all family members interact will make for a more effective recovery.
  • Family Systems of Addiction. (n.d.). Retrieved November 16, 2014, from
  • Living With a Recovering Drug Addict or Alcoholic. (n.d.). Retrieved November 16, 2014, from http://www.recovery.org/topics/living-with-a-recovering-drug-addict-or-alcoholic/
  • Family Roles in Addiction Recovery I: The Hero and the Scapegoat. (n.d.). Retrieved November 16, 2014, from http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/therapy-alcoholic-family-sobriety/
  • Derry, J. (2014, September 11). Alcoholism Family Support Post Rehab. In Serenity Vista. Retrieved from https://www.serenityvista.com/alcoholism-family-support/
  • Haber, D. (2010, January 7). Family Roles in Addiction Recovery I. In Good Therapy . Retrieved from http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/therapy-alcoholic-family-sobriety/
  • Kaufman, E., & Yoshioka, M. (2004). Substance Abuse Treatment and Family Therapy. Treatment Improvement Protocol (TIP) Series, No. 39. Center for Substance Abuse Treatment. Retrieved from http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK64269/
  • Roles in the Addicted Family System (2012, June 25). In Welcome to Recovery. Retrieved from https://www.marrinc.org/roles-in-the-addicted-family-system/
  • Steinglass, P., Bennett, L., & Wolin, S. (n.d.). Addiction as a Family Affair. In UMASS. Retrieved from http://ocw.umb.edu/counseling-and-school-psychology/substance-abuse-and-the- family/New%20Folder/topic-3.pdf
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