Dating

STAGES OF DATING

• STAGE ONE - GUSHY
• STAGE TWO - PLAYING GAMES
• STAGE THREE - GOAL DIRECTED

MORE ABOUT DATING

STAGE THREE - GOAL DIRECTED

STAGE ONE - GUSHY

• WE ARE PLANNING OUR FUTURE TOGETHER
• I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY
• I WILL LOVE YOU UNCONDITIONALLY

• WE HAVE SO MANY THINGS IN COMMON
• NO ONE HAS EVER QUITE FELT LIKE THIS BEFORE
• TRY TO BE SOMEONE THEY ARE NOT
• THEY TRY TO PLEASE EACH OTHER
• AGREE ON EVERYTHING
• EVERYTHING IS ARTIFICIAL BECAUSE THEY ARE TRYING TO BE ON THEIR BEST BEHAVIOR

STAGE TWO - PLAYING GAMES

• THEY ARE GLAD TO SEE EACH OTHER AND DO THINGS WITH OTHER FRIENDS
• THEY TRUST ONE ANOTHER
• THEY ARE NOT ALL OVER EACH OTHER
• THEY ARE INTERESTED IN SEEING EACH OTHER FULFILL THEIR GOALS
• THEY WANT EACH OTHER TO BE HAPPY
• THEY CAN TALK ABOUT NON ROMANTIC TOPICS
• THEY ARE COMFORATBLE BEING THEMSELVES
• THEY MAY BECOME ENGAGED
• MORE MATURE
• THEY BEGIN TO REMEMBER THINGS ABOUT EACH OTHER
• THEY WILL OFTEN TIMES START MAKING WEDDING PLANS

STAGE ONE EXAMPLE

• HAVE HEARTS CROSSED OUT ALL OVER THEIR NOTEBOOKS
• HAVE SWOLLEN EYES FROM CRYING ON THE AVERAGE OF THREE TIMES A DAY
• LOTS OF UPS AND DOWNS

• ALWAYS ON TIME
• LAUGH AT EACH OTHERS JOKES
• SAME LIKES (MUSIC, CARS, PEOPLE, FOOD)
• NON CRITICAL
• NEED TO BE PHYSICAL (ALWAYS HOLDING HANDS, HUGGING)
• LOVE THE SOUND OF THEIR NAMES TOGETHER
• LOTS OF TALKING TO EACH OTHER

STAGE TWO EXAMPLE

• VERY POSSESIVE AND JEALOUS
• COMES LATE FOR DATES OR THE GIRL IS NOT READY WHEN HE COMES
• DISPUTES
• POWER STRUGGLES - WHERE TO EAT, WHAT TO SHOW, ETC
• A TIME OF EXTREMES
• PETTINESS - MAKE LITTLE THINGS INTO BIG THINGS
• A TIME TO LOOK AT PERSONALITY AND CHARACTER NOT JUST APPEARANCE
• DATING RELATIONSHIPS LIKELY TO BE CONFINED TO ONE PERSON
• PERSONALITY TRAITS VALUED MORE THAN JUST AN INTEREST IN THE OPPOSITE SEX
• YOU MAY BE AT A DIFFERENT STAGE OF DATING THAN YOUR DATE

• EVERYONE MOVES THROUGH THE STAGES OF DATING AT DIFFERENT SPEEDS.
• REGARDLESS OF HOW FAST OR SLOW A COUPLE MOVES THROUGH THE STAGES THEY WILL COME BACK TO DIFFERENT STAGES FROM TIME TO TIME.
• ONE PERSON MAY BE AT A DIFFERENT STAGE THAN ANOTHER BUT THAT IS NORMAL.

MORE ABOUT DATING

• IF YOU MARRY IN STAGE ONE THEN YOU HAVE TO WORK THROUGH STAGE TWO AND STAGE THREE.
• IT IS MUCH EASIER TO WORK THROUGH THE STAGES BEFORE YOU ARE MARRIED.

LEARNING OBJECTIVE

• STUDENTS WILL LIST THE FUNCTIONS AND PURPOSES OF RESPONSIBLE DATING.
• STUDENTS WILL IDENTIFY AND DISCUSS THE PURPOSES AND COSTS OF DATING.

MORE ABOUT DATING

PURPOSES OF

DATING

SOCIALIZATION

• TO DEVELOP APPROPRIATE SOCIAL SKILLS
• TO PRACTICE GETTING ALONG WITH OTHERS IN DIFFERENT SETTINGS

WHY DO

YOU DATE?

• STAGE THREE IS THE OBVIOUS STAGE IN WHICH TO MARRY. IT ALLOWS THE COUPLES THE LEAST AMOUNT OF PROBLEMS THROUGH ADJUSTMENT OF MARRIAGE
• STAGE THREE IS NOT ALWAYS FOLLOWED BY MARRIAGE
• AFTER MARRIAGE COUPLES CONTINUALLY EXPERIENCE THE STAGES OF DATING

MATE SELECTION

RECREATION

• TO SEE OTHERS IN MANY DIFFERENT SETTINGS
• TO COMPARE THE PERSONALITY AND CHARACTERISITCS OF MANY PEOPLE

• TO HAVE FUN AND ENJOY THE COMPANIONSHIP OF OTHERS
• TO TRY NEW AND DIFFERENT ACTIVITIES

Dating

Jessica George - Adult Roles and Financial Literacy