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"I AM worth something, just not in the way you want me to be."
"I want to fade away. I will finally be happy."
Explaining the second attempt at suicide. She almost succeeded with this one. The doctors had to fight to bring her back.
"I know that you care, or are at least interested in me, but there is nothing left to worry about."
This is referring back to the introduction: Suicide has been attempted three times, once every ten years.
Yet, no permanent outcome has taken place.
Soon, soon the flesh
The grave cave ate will be
At home on me
And I am a smiling woman.
I am only thirty.
And like the cat I have nine times to die.
This is Number Three.
What a trash
To annihilate each decade.
I am your opus,
I am your valuable,
The pure gold baby
That melts to a shriek.
I turn and burn.
Do not think I underestimate your great concern.
Ash, ash ---
You poke and stir.
Flesh, bone, there is nothing there----
A cake of soap,
A wedding ring,
A gold fillling.
The second time I meant
To last it out and not come back at all.
I rocked shut
As a seashell.
They had to call and call
And pick the worms off me like sticky pearls.
Dying
Is an art, like everything else,
I do it exceptionally well.
I do it so it feels like hell.
I do it so it feels real.
I guess you could say I've a call.
She views dying as a beautiful thing. She is getting good at dying, seeing as she has almost done it twice now.
"I have given up the things associated with life."
"Attempting suicide is easy, as long as you truly desire death. But you must know that it takes even more strength to come back to the real world if it doesn't work."
Plath romanticizes suicide here.
An introduction...
Everyone is interested in something that does not affect them. They are detached from what is really going on, yet mesmerized by it.
"I have mastered death. And I am not afraid to hurt others anymore."
Plath is connecting with others who felt the way she does. The Nazi and Jew example may be used to hit a soft spot with readers and to clarify the severity of her emotions.
Herr God, Herr Lucifer.
Beware
Beware.
Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air.
" I am nothing special. Why do any of you pretend to care about me. I am no different."
This could be interpreted as Plath having to pay for people stopping her death. She must suffer more life. Or, she may be implying that those who prevent her wishes will suffer, the way someone would if they interrupted a mummy's tomb.
What a million filaments.
The peanut-crunching crowd
Shoves in to see
Them unwrap me hand and foot
The big strip tease.
Gentlemen, ladies
These are my hands
My knees.
I may be skin and bone,
Nevertheless, I am the same, identical woman.
The first time it happened I was ten.
It was an accident.
It's easy enough to do it in a cell.
It's easy enough to do it and stay put.
It's the theatrical
Comeback in broad day
To the same place, the same face, the same brute
Amused shout:
'A miracle!'
That knocks me out.
There is a charge
For the eyeing of my scars, there is a charge
For the hearing of my heart----
It really goes.
And there is a charge, a very large charge
For a word or a touch
Or a bit of blood
Or a piece of my hair or my clothes.
So, so, Herr Doktor.
So, Herr Enemy.
I have done it again.
One year in every ten
I manage it----
A sort of walking miracle, my skin
Bright as a Nazi lampshade,
My right foot
A paperweight,
My face a featureless, fine
Jew linen.
Peel off the napkin
O my enemy.
Do I terrify?----
The nose, the eye pits, the full set of teeth?
The sour breath
Will vanish in a day
"Let me tell you the truth, I will fade away and be forgotten like all the others."
Elaborating on the first attempt.
"Come try me. You may suffer more than I will."