Dynamics of Interpersonal Communication

Dynamics in Interpersonal Communication

Relational Dialectics as seen in "Knocked Up"

Robert Lambert, Jamie Keen, Katelynn Jones

Stability-Change Dialectic

This dialectic involves the stability in a relationship. Too much stability can lead to feelings of staleness and boredom, while too much change can lead to feelings of confusion and frustration. This dialectic operates between both partners when they face others outside the relationship.

Revelation-Concealment Dialectic

• For many couples, this dialectic focuses on decisions about how much news they should share with others about their relationship.
• Ex: "Should we tell our friends that we are dating?"
• Many people choose to disclose information about their relationships at different points.

Relational Maintenance: Emphasizes that autonomy-connection tensions aren't always necessarily a sign of a troubled relationship; integrating and bonding (Connection) as well as differentiating and circumscribing (Autonomy) fall into the circle labeled relational maintenance .

Connection-Autonomy Dialectic

Predictability-Chance Dialectic

• The internal side of integration-separation, this dialectic embodies the conflict when we find ourselves wanting to be close to others, but at the same time seeking independence.
• Leslie Baxter (1994): Describes some of the most common reasons for break-ups, is the failure to satisfy other's need for connection.
• Barbara Montgomery (1996): Couples use multiple strategies during confrontations

• Nobody wants a completely unpredictable relational partner, but boredom can arise when couples know each other too well.

Dialectical Tensions

There are 8 Dialectical Tensions!

Dialectical Tensions focus on the ongoing maintenance of

relationships and on conflicts that arise when two opposing or incompatible forces exist simultaneously.

Inclusion-Seclusion Dialectic

We experience these challenges both internally, or within the relationship, and externally, or as our partners face other people whose desires clash with our own.

Integration-Separation Dialectic

Conventionality-Uniqueness Dialectic

When there is a struggle to reconcile a desire for involvement with the "outside world" with the desire to live their own lives, free of interference from others.

• This dialectic deals with our conflicting desires for connection and independence; we are unwilling to sacrifice our entire identity to even the most satisfying relationship .

• This dialectic captures the challenges that couples face when trying to meet others' expectations as well as their own.
• For example, playing the conventional role of "happy couple" during a time of conflict can be a burden, when the couple feels the need to behave in a less stereotypical way.

Openness-Closedness Dialectic

• Internal struggle between expression and privacy shows up in the openness-closedness dialectic.
• A commitment to the relationship may compel someone toward honesty, but the concern for the other person's feelings and a desire for privacy may lead someone to be less than completely honest.
• Partners may have a variety of different strategies to gain privacy from each other: they may confront the other person directly and say they do not wish to continue the discussion or they may be less direct, and use nonverbal cues, change the topic, or leave the room.

Expression-Privacy Dialectic

Disclosure is one characteristic of interpersonal relationships. Yet, along with the drive for intimacy, we have an equally important need to maintain some spaces between ourselves and others. These drives are what create the conflict of expression-privacy.