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"I am honest, I am a good friend, and I am loving."
"I think just being human, have empathy, and just treat someone how you would like to be treated."
"In general I think I have inherited/learned a general sweetness of character from both my parents; a natural inclination to put people at ease, a sense of compassion, a concern for the underdog."
I love who I am today, and I love that I can live freely with my partner. Each day may not be as easy, but the love we share is easy and that means everything to me."
"I was never addicted to drugs and alcohol, but there was a point in time when I drank every single night for about 10 month span. I had a lot of stress on my plate after I started to reflect on my past, so I started to cope by drinking. I suddenly woke up one day and realized what was happening and I abruptly stopped."
I'm proud of who I am and I am glad that I have people in my life that make it so easy for me to be myself."
My hopes are that things just continue to progress, I feel like huge strides have been in made int he past few years. I just hope it continues."
" I did get picked on for being a little feminine in middle school, I wasn't out yet but I was teased and people assumed I was gay. But once I got to high school it kind of just stopped. I didn't know anyone else that was out and in my younger years I didn't have the confidence to come out."
"Firstly, I wish individuals didn't think they can 'change' someone. That statement is absurd! From my own personal experiences, I have been sexually assaulted at the age of 12 and at the age of 18."
"I have been in emotional and physically abusive relationships. I felt like I was completely trapped and there was nothing I could do to get out of the mind-set I was placed in. I never experienced what a healthy relationship was like until I met my girlfriend whom showed what I rightfully deserve as a human being."
"I have been sexually assaulted. I am currently dealing with a sexual assault case now."
"There was never a time I didn't feel safe or accepted either."
I experimented with just about every drug there is, I've been to rehab a few times when i was younger. Treatment was good for me, I had a lot of issues regarding my family dynamics and they helped me work through that."
-44% of lesbians and 61% of bisexual women experience rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner, compared to 35% of heterosexual women.
"Grade school and junior high sucked. Not fun. Definitely not out. (In grade school I don't even think I knew you COULD be gay). High school was somewhat better...it got better each year. By the time I graduated high school i had a really strong network of friends."
-26% of gay men and 37% bisexual men experience rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner, compated to 29% of heterosexual men.
-47% of transgender people are sexually assaulted at some point in life.
"My experience was not great the first two years. MSU is so huge, you're really on your own; it can take you awhile to find where you belong, which was certainly the case for me....I felt safe most of the time except nights on weekends. There is nothing worse than a drunk MSU student; they are xenophobic, racist, violent. The last time I was called a faggot ( by someone other than a fellow faggot) was at a party at MSU; another time i had a bottle thrown at my head as I was leaving a party."
-40% of gay men and 47% of bisexual men have experienced sexual violence other than rape, compared to 21% of heterosexual men.
-48% of bisexual women who are rape survivors experienced their first rape between ages 11 and 17.
I did not come out until college but while in high school, and middle school, I had girl crushes. There were people who were out back them but it was not the cool thing to do. Poeple made fun of them; they would call them weird names, and teased them for being LGBT. I knew that I was not about to be going through a tough time from peers, so I never showed any interest publicly to girls. However, there were several girls tha tI made with in those days, but it was never talked about or discussed in school."
-Among people of color, American Indian ( 65%), multiracial (59%), Middle Eastern (58%), and black (53%) respondents of the 2015 US Transgender Survey were most likely to have been sexually assaulted in their lifetime.
85% of victims advocates surveyed by the NCAVP reported having worked with an LGBTQ survivor who was denied services because of their SOGI.
" I gained a part of myself that I never knew existed, which was self-pride and confidence. After I became open about my sexuality I have never been happier than I am now. "
"I told most of my friends first , the reactions were all positive and supportive. I am fully out now, it happened kind of gradual. I didn’t feel like I was hiding it but at the same time I didn’t feel I needed to “scream it from the roof tops”. However, I did feel a huge relief and like I could finally be me."
"My mom found me in the gay section of the bookstore at the age of 12. The most difficult part for me was my initial conversation with my mom at age 12, both because of how it occured ( not on my own terms) and because nobody likes talking about sex with their parents."
"Coming out was very difficult because I did not know how my world would change. I did not know that some people would not talk to me anymore, close friends would make up false stories, and how family members would talk so negatively and even quit associating or inviting you to family functions."
"I had a few friends, well best friends at the time, that will no longer speak to me because of it."
"The best part about coming out completely, is being free. Being able to share your life and love with someone that you chose. Being able to not hide behind a mask of guilt and shame for simply being who you are, is the most rewarding feeling of coming out."
"When each and every one of them found out that I was seeing a girl, they were surprised, but extremley happy for me. I guess it made me realize how thankful I am to have a family that is so open-minded and supportive".
"Parents were supportive of my sexual orientation. I exhibited a lot of gender non-conformity pretty much from infancy, and I think those very early years were hardest for them, because it was very clear to everyone they didn't have a "normal" son...As they gradually came to terms with the idea they were going to have a gay son, it got easier for them."
"The great part was that I finally felt like I could show people who I really was and live my life."
"Supportive: A few of my teachers; my parents.
Unsupported: the rest of society."
"family certainly is not
blood for me. My blood-family lacked a lot of support, so I did have to build my own family. I
started building my own family young. I didn’t have a big ass coming out party... that’s not what
bisexuals do. But knowing that my true blue family would be there for me to listen, always means
the world."
" I truly didn't use any resources, I wasn't sure what was even available, I really just used my friends as support."
"Choir, theater..."
"I wasn't athletic in the least and hadn't really learned how to interact with other men very well, so organized sports wasn't really my thing. I wish I could do it over, because in retrospect, I think I could have gained a lot from putting more into sports."
My high had a club called GSA (Gay Straight Alliance), however I wasn't out so I never attended."
"My school was really supportive of individuals that are a part of the LGBTQ community, I just didn't want to be a part of it. I wasn't ready to admit I was a part of that community as well."
For me, the support from my mother would have been
more of a healthier experience for coming out. I think a mother's love is one that should be unconditional. Having her support would have possibly saved me a lifetime full of regrets and bad choices with heterosexual activities I engaged in."
"No clubs or activities that were for LGBT that I knew of back then."
"Opening up to the possibility that you may be a lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or even just questioning means opening up to the idea that you're on a path that's your own. It's also why coming out and living even more opening is a prodoundly liberating experience."
-Human Rights Campaign: A Resource Guide to Coming Out
"BWHAHAHA!
Though I haven’t considered myself catholic in some time, I was raised Catholic, and had to send
my children to a catholic school. No. No one would accept a bisexual woman in a catholic space.
This is another reason I haven’t come out to my parents. Just... why. No organized religion for me
at the moment. Nature is my religion — so I can be bisexual all over nature — the trees accept me
for who I am."
I wish I could tell my 12
year old self, who was pushed to that dance with that weird boy, that the cute girl in the flower
dress is ok to dance with too, and next year? That adorable boy will be fun to laugh and hold
hands with. I had crushes on girls and boys from kindergarten onward. It was confusing AF. No
one told me it was OK to like boys AND girls. There was no guidebook for this bisexual lifestyle.
There still isn’t. People still lump boys and girls together like they’re “supposed” to be. And...
why?
"Coming out was even more difficult from a religious aspect, many felt that you could not be LGBT and still worship and pray to a higher power or even participate in Christianity. My biggest struggle was letting God down, I felt that God was extremely upset with me, and I did not want to choose hell, so I stayed away from the completely lesbian encounters for years even though I was out."
"I've never had anyone say anything negative to my face but I grew up Christian and it is not always accepted but I at least feel tolerated."
"They [individual's identities] run parallel. No conflict. Occasionally overlap, insofar as I can talk with my brother about our being gay, and I have made friends and found mentors/mentees as a a gay librarian."
"I feel like African Americans, at least my father's family, have always kind of looked down on homosexuals or thought it was wrong and I'm sure they talk about me behind my back but I don't feel that in person."
"My sexuality does have some conflict in some situations. I feel the need to choose between my identity mostly when I am at work and when I do not feel comfortable with an individual or within an environment. I do not feel that it is necessary to enclose that type of information to those that do not deserve to know."
"I am in therapy for my trauma. I believe some of my physical disabilities could be correlated to my sexual abuse. Everyone should find a trusted therapist to work through past and current trauma."
"I did participate in counseling/therapy once before. I felt like my therapist as trying to break my girlfriend and me up, because she would also make comments that were extremely irrelevant and inappropriate about us. She would accuse my girlfriend of things that I never once said which caused my anxiety to increase even more."
"I Don't know how to impart this to a 12-year old exactly, but it would be to somehow help myself gain self-confidence, which I dont think I really fully developed until I was almost 30 (!!), and a less defensive, more relaxed sense of gender expression, that you can exhibit both masculine and feminine traits."
"I went to therapy a couple times during college. I've had some issues with depression and anxiety and I gave it a shot. My sexuality came up only a few times, but the provider was knowledgeable and kind. "
"I've mostly felt supported/respected. I think the biggest challenge has been that outside of major cities, there are very few gay male therapists and/or therapists who understand the environment we live in now, so there's aoften a lot of explaining you have to do. I've only seen one therapist in the past 5 years."
"I will say that even providers who are LGBTQ-friendly and knowledgeable are not always a great fit. My current PCP is lovely but we have somewhat different ideas of what;s realistic/healthy when it comes to sexual behavior. I am going to be switching providers soon and my next PCP is going to be a gay man, for that reason."
"It's not one size fits all. Lesbian women have very different neecds than gay men, who have very different needs than trans men, who have very different needs than trans women, who have very different needs from bi people. Every population is unique and, while it's well-intentioned, lumping everybody together doesn't reflect the very real differences in care and expertize each group requires."
"Being yourself is the best feeling you'll ever have."
"Those who mind do not matter, and those who matter will not mind. One of the first people I came out to told me that. My hopes are that over time, "coming out" won't even be something that has to be done. No one has to come out as straight, so I hope that one day that;s hiow it will be to come out as LGBTQIA."
"I don't think there is such a thing as the LGBTQIA+ community. We are a patchwork of very different communities that straight/CIS people sort of package together and even within a single “group” - gay men, trans people - there is incredible diversity. Having said that, i hope the future holds more tolerance for our fellow brothers and sisters, who in most countries on Earth are still subject to ostracism, violence, and death. Rainbow people in “the West” still have it pretty good compared to the rest of the world; happily for us, sadly for the rest."
'I wish all family members and friends supported kids and adults for coming out today. I wish everyone understood that it is not something you can control and that no matter how much you attempt to ignore or change your sexuality it will never work."
What does it mean to come as bisexual?
"I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted-romantically and/or sexually--to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree" - Robyn Ochs
" You are you for a reason., embrace your beauty. I would have told my younger self to embrace everything that I am and everything that I will be. Do not let culture demolish you and make you feel bad for any less for being only human."
"Bisexuality is a difficult thing for people to wrap their
brains around. When I came to terms with it myself, it was 1995. The few people I talked to about
it thought it was a phase, I knew it was not. Only my husband truly trusted me enough to know that
my bisexuality is who I am, and that’s ok! The difficult aspect of coming out as a bisexual woman
who is married to a straight man, is that people assume you are straight as well. BIsexuality isn’t
erased when you get married to a man or a woman. But the coming out process is difficult because
of it. Society likes labels and boxes. I do not shy away from these conversations though. I am open
about my sexuality when the topic comes up. Though, it has not come up with... my parents. And,
that’s ok."
"I have noticed some of the my customers treating me differently because of it. Some of the guys give me more attention and for customers that don't know about my sexuality they assume I have a boyfriend. When customers have this assumption, it bothers me a lot. I wish people in general used the term 'partner' instead." -Female, 27, Bisexual
Human Rights Campaign: A Resource Guide to Coming Out As Bisexual
Human Rights Campaign: A resource Guide to Coming out
Amazing friends who volunteered to answer interview questions!!!!
"As bisexual people, we face skepticism and stereotypes about our sexuality, we are ignored and excluded from lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer spaces and we are often invisible to each other-- challenges that can make coming out a complicated process. " -Human Rights Campaign
https://www.hrc.org/resources/sexual-assault-and-the-lgbt-community--
CDC National Intimate Parnter and Sexual violence Survey
2015 US Transgender Survey
"When I first came out I started to hear more about lesbians not wanting to be with someone that identifies as bisexual, ironically my current girlfriend. Her perspective was that it would make her feel uncomfortable or weird knowing that I am attracted to both genders. I don't think people realize that just because I am attracted to both genders, does not mean I am attracted to every single human being. There is a certain percentage I am attracted to makes and vice cersa for females. " Female, 22, Bisexual