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Communicating with Children
9
Transcript
Ask Questions
- Be specific, do not ask vague questions.
- Give the child options to choose from.
- Repeat the answers in a more concise and "adult" way to make sure you understand.
Active Listening
- Appear engaged when speaking with the child.
- Display enthusiasm about what they are talking about, even if it's been a long day.
- Let them do more of the talking.
- Try to find a common interest.
Bibliography
- https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201209/worst-mistakes-parents-make-when-talking-kids
- https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/jan/30/how-to-talk-to-children-even-if-you-dont-have-any
- http://www.can-academy.org/5-general-tutor-support-tips
- http://www.pbs.org/parents/talkingwithkids/agebyage_6.html
Other Thoughts?
Avoid Negative Reinforcement
Avoid Complimenting "Innate Skills"
- Do not use guilt or shame as motivators.
- Do not attribute negative traits like apathy or disinterest to the child.
- Do not put them on the defensive.
- Praise choices the child has made, not skills they have.
- Imply their success is due to hard work, rather than intelligence.
- Give praise that will encourage the child to put forth more effort in the future.
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Don't Talk too Much
Children are Humans
Nagging is Bad
- Humans can only juggle ~four ideas at a time.
- Use short sentences that focus on the main idea.
- Don't "think out loud" at children.
- Most advice for talking to children applies to humans in general.
- Many differences between adults and children are learned skills, not essential differences.
- Nagging sounds domineering.
- It signals distrust.
- They know you'll remind them again later.
Effective Reminders
Don't Patronize
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- Treat people like equals.
- Emphasize that you are trying to achieve something together.
- Acknowledge that they know things about themselves that you don't.
- Only give one reminder.
- Emphasize consequences that are relevant to the child.
- Talk about consequences that flow naturally from choices.
- Emphasize consequences, not authority.
Communicating with Children
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