The Enneagram

About the Enneagram

About the

Enneagram

The enneagram is a unique and perhaps my favorite personality assessment. First, we must define Identity and Dignity. Identity answers "who and I?" while Dignity answers "what am I worth?"

All people have intrinsic value that is ascribed and not earned.

Tragically, most of start with our sense of identity, believing that if we build out the mythology of who we think we are, then the more attractive our identity and the more valuable we become.

But when we equate our dignity with the sum value of the fortification of stories we tell about our identity, we create a no-win scenario that will always lead to disillusionment and pain.

There are three lies we all let define us: I am what I have, i am what I do, and I am what other people say about me.

Type 1

Type 1

Often called: The Reformer, Perfectionist, or Achiever.

Ones are ethical and principled, a source of goodness and virtue in the world; they elevate the standard of excellence for quality and integrity in all things. Ones cling to their adherence to rules as a security blanket - an ever present symbol of their frustration with the world's (and their own) imperfections. This inner frustration is often communicated in ways that seem judgemental. It's important to remember that the judgement ones levy on the outside world has already been levied inwardly, so the sense of judgement isn't hypocritical.

Virtue: Serenity

Basic Desire: To be good, to have integrity

Basic Fear: being bad, defective, corrupt

Fixation: Resentment

Passion: Anger

Attack on Virtue: These children felt heavily criticized, punished, or not good enough. Household rules may have felt inconsistent. As such, they became obsessed with being good or not making mistakes to avoid condemnation. The principle message was "you must always be better than you are"

Type 2

Type 2

Often called the helper or the giver.

As a source of love in the world, the open-heartedness of Twos is rooted in their essence, their True Self, Twos are gracious and generous, naturally giving of themselves, usually in the most befitting ways. The traditional passion of the Two is pride, which can be deceiving because the pride of the two is more like false humility or more specifically, self-abnegation.

Virtue: Humility

Basic Desire: To feel loved

Basic Fear: Being unloved

Fixation: Flattery

Passion: Pride

Attack on Virtue: These children felt loved only if they were helping or leasing others; their personal needs felt selfish. As a result, they closed off their own needs and feelings and turned to those of others. Love became defined as giving to others - though the love often didn't feel received or reciprocated

Type 3

Type 3

Often called the Status Seeker, Performer, or Succeeder.

At a fundamental level, Threes reflect truth and integrity, because in their essence they know they are truly loved. But Threes live our of the pain of the disconnect from their own hearts, constantly questioning the fragile line between being loved and being recognized or affirmed as the symbol of love they are desperate for.

Virtue: Truthfulness, Authenticity

Basic Desire: To feel valuable

Basic Fear: Being worthless

Fixation: Vanity

Passion: Deceit

Attack on Virtue: These children felt rewarded only for what they did and how well they did it. Their feelings were discounted and ignored; only their performance and what was expected of them mattered. This harmed their ability to love themselves and others. Admiration replaced real love.

Type 4

Type 4

Often called The Individualist, Artist, or Tragic Romantic.

Fours are a natural source of significance. The irony is that Fours feel more misunderstood and less significant than all the other types, even though they are generally considered to be the more uniquely interesting enneagram type. Fours have an amazing ability to see beauty in all things, however they tend to over-identify with their flaws and believe that's they they don't fit in.

Virtue: Equanimity, Emotional Balance

Basic Desire: To be themselves

Basic Fear: Having no identity or significance

Fixation: Melancholy

Passion: Envy

Attack on Virtue: These children felt abandoned by one or both caretakers. They felt alone, cut off from the source of love for reasons they couldn't understand. They were not "seen" or mirrored, and felt different from their parents. As a result, they turned inward to their feelings and imagination to cope in isolation.

Type 5

Type 5

Often called The Investigator, Thinker or Observer

Fives illuminate what can be known and are a source of wisdom and knowledge in a world of questions and uncertainty. Type Five is perhaps the most withdrawn of all the Enneagram types, their withdrawal a means to of finding then mental and cerebral room to understand and master reality. Fives may appear aloof or absentminded, but just the opposite is true.

Virtue: Detachment

Basic Desire: To be capable and competent

Basic Fear: Being helpless, incompetent, and incapable

Fixation:Stinginess

Passion: Avarice (Specifically withholding their energy for social interactions)

Attack on Virtue: These children received no meaningful interaction, emotion, or affection from caretakers. Or they had intrusive, over-controlling parent(s) and felt exposed and defenseless in the face of this intrusion. As a result, they built walls around themselves and retreated to the mental realm.

Type 6

Often called The Loyalist, Trooper, or The Guardian

At their best, Sixes are a source of determination and strength. Sixes make great leaders, but because they're constantly second-guessing themselves, healthy Sixes know when they should or shouldn't assume leadership roles. Sixes have the potential to be some of the greatest sounding boards because they have a true ability to be impartial and see both sides of the coin on issues.

Virtue: Courage

Basic Desire: Having support and guidance

Basic Fear: Being without support and guidance

Fixation: Cowardice

Passion: Fear

Attack on Virtue: These children were raised in an unpredictable situation with no safe place to go. They lost faith they would ever be protected. As such, they turned to their own inner defense of doubting - disbelieving reality and rejecting their own instincts and inner guidance

Type 6

Type 7

Type 7

Often called The Enthusiast or The Dreamer

Sevens, the most energetic of all Enneagram types, are a source of imagination and freedom in the world. Their fundamental need is to avoid pain, so Sevens are perpetually looking for distractions and opportunities to stay as far away as possible from their inner aches. People misunderstand Sevens by suggesting they typically lack the ability to follow through with all the amazing things they give themselves to. This misunderstanding is rooted in the value Sevens place on freedom. To bring closure to anything forces limitations on the freedom they seek.

Virtue: Sobriety of mind

Basic Desire: To be content or satisfied

Basic Fear: To be trapped in pain and deprivation

Fixation: Planning

Passion: Gluttony (i feel more accurate should be excess)

Attack on Virtue: These children were deprived of nurturing, or it was too soon removed. They handled this lack by searching for distractions to minimize or repress the fear and pain. They decided to focus on positive options and rely on themselves to fulfill their desires and gain a sense of nurturance.

Type 8

Type 8

Often called The Challenger, Leader, or Confronter

Eights are a source of strength and determination, an initiating and intimidating force of vitality in the world. Eights exemplify the fundamental need to be against. Even when they agree, they'll find a way to turn anything into combat or sparring. This is how Eights build trust. It is their attempt to size up the trustworthiness of others, an unconscious way of determining if people will stand up to them by standing up for themselves. No one can be harder on Eights and themselves, and in turn Eights can be extremely hard on others - demanding more than is fair or realistic.

Virtue: Innocence

Basic Desire: To protect themselves and those they love.

Basic Fear: To be harmed, controlled, and violated

Fixation: Vengeance

Passion: Lust (not sexual, but a desire for intensity)

Attack on Virtue: These children often grew up in an unsafe environment (emotionally and/or physically) and had to mature way too soon. They didn't feel safe to show an vulnerability and may have felt controlled. Weakness was used against them, so they focused only on building their strength.

Type 9

Type 9

Often called The Peacemaker, Mediator, Preservationist

Nines observe all that is around than and, rather than getting sucked into the drama, essentially opts out, witnessing the world without much compulsion to participate in it. Nines withdraw to protect their need for autonomy. Their withdraw may be disguised by their capacity to negotiate and mediate the lives of everyone around them. One on hand, this keeps them from engaging their own inner life; on the other hand, they are able to lower the energy of their environment by calming everyone down and chilling everything out. Nines are by nature understanding and make excellent arbitrators, mediators, and referees because they have an innate ability to understand almost every perspective.

Virtue: Action

Basic Desire: Peace of mind and wholeness

Basic Fear: Loss, separation, and fragmentation

Fixation: Indolence

Passion: Slothfulness

Attack on Virtue: These children were overlooked or neglected and felt unimportant or "lost." They were ignored or attacked for having needs or expressing themselves (especially anger) and decided to keep a low profile and instead focus on the needs and experiences of others.