ENGL E102F_9 Apr 2020

Who's the boss?

1. A university

Vice-chancellor

2. A tennis match

Umpire

3. The governing party (in the UK)

Prime Minister

4. A tribe

Chief/ Chieftain

5. A company

Managing Director

Who's the boss?

6. A convent

Mother Superior

7. An orchestra

Leader

8. An Old People's Home

Warden

9. A choir

Choir leader

10. A Republic

President

Who's the boss?

11. A newspaper or magazine

Editor

12. A hospital

Matron

Academic Communication

compelling

affect

acute

Homelessness is one of the most ___________ (1) and hard-to-solve social problems that _______ (2) an increasing number of nations. It appears to be as _______ (3) in wealthy and developed communities as it is in _______________ (4) and underdeveloped regions of the world. People of all races, skin colours and ________ (5) dressed in rags,

impoverished

origins

Academic Communication

cardboard

homelessness

roaming in the streets, sleeping in ____________ (6) boxes or on park benches and bagging for food and money is what typically _______________ (7) is associated with. We pass by these people almost ___________ (8) on our way to work, school or shops. Some of us may _____________ (9) with them or even spare some of a few coins, but hardly ever do we

every day

sympathize

Academic Communication

understand

roots

really _____________ (10) the drama that is going on around us. Little do we know about the _______ (11) of homelessness and how to tackle the problem successfully. The majority of people tend to _______ (12) their heads and go away whenever they see a _____________ (13) person. Somehow, we fail to

turn

homeless

Academic Communication

at

these

combination

realize that ____ (14) some point in their lives __________ (15) people were the same citizens as we are. It may have been a _______________ (16) of political, economic and other social reasons that pushed ________ (17) toward the margin.

them

Comments on findings

I have read over some of your presentations on findings. They are not bad.

If you have forgotten it, you can still send your findings section to me. I will have a look and give you comments.

Comments on findings

Some reminders regarding presenting findings:

First, I would like to remind you again that you need to observe the format of a report otherwise marks will be deducted.

Comments on findings

Then I would suggest that

• you do not group everything into one paragraph.
• you divide it into shorter paragraphs and give each of them a number.
• e.g. 3.1, 3.2, 3.3, etc
• or 3.1.1, 3.1.2, 3.1.3, etc

Then your readers will find it systematic and easier to follow.

Comments on findings

If you want to discuss your findings, you can use modal verbs like:

• could, would, may, might
• Examples:
• This finding may help to shed light on ...
• It could have new insight into ...

Comments on findings

If you have designed a questionnaire to collect data and have prepared graphical displays of the data, you need to put them in the Appendix.

Whether you are having a take-home exam or assignment, you don't have to include them. But in real research, we do.

Comments on findings

It's time for us to complete the whole report. You are going to prepare the conclusion of the report either on your own topic or on the topic related to sports and recreation activities for OUHK students.

How are you going to do it?

Are there any points for you to remember?

Let's find them out.

Conclusion

A conclusion usually sums up the most important ideas in previous sections.

But in a report, usually we provide recommendations in the conclusion unless making recommendations is not an objective.

Conclusion

When you are providing recommendations, you need to use modality.

What is modality?

• It is the use of modal verbs or mood adjuncts to denote mode, mood or manner.

Conclusion

Modal verbs include:

• may, might
• will, would, can, could
• must, should, etc

Mood adjuncts include:

• possible, possibly, likely, probable, probably, etc

Conclusion

If you are making recommendations / suggestions, use:

• should, must, ought to
• Examples:
• The HKSAR should run an educational ...
• Related departments must investigate ...

Conclusion

Please complete the conclusion and upload it to the discussion board under the topic 'Reports' not later than next Monday.

Evaluating essays

When we evaluate an essay, we examine

• the paragraph construction, references and vocabulary

Evaluating essays

Paragraph construction:

• We look at the structure of the paragraph.
• Check the topic sentences and supporting details.

Evaluating essays

References:

• Check both in-text citation and references.

Vocabulary:

• Check if it is appropriate to the tone and the style of an academic essay

Evaluating essays

Now try to evaluate excerpt 2. If you can identify the problems, it means that very likely you will not make the same mistakes in your essays.

Evaluating essays

Remember:

• If you find it difficult to present the evaluation in paragraphs, you can do so in point form e.g. we all know: delete

Here are some hints to help you.

Evaluating essays

Paragraph construction:

• The problem can be found in the second paragraph.

References:

• Check the reference list.

Evaluating essays

Vocabulary:

• Generally it is all related to the tone.
• You need to identify the inappropriate words and replace them to make the essay more academic.
• There are quite a lot of them.

Evaluating essays

Remember:

Complete the task before checking the answers.

Good luck

Evaluating essays

Now let's look at excerpt 2.

Evaluating essays

In the second paragraph, the third sentence is actually the topic sentence, and so should be placed at the beginning of the paragraph

The in-text citation is fine but the references section is not in APA style.

Bond, M. H. (1991). Beyond the Chinese

Face. Hong Kong: Oxford University

Press.

Claxton, C., & Murrel, R. (1987). Learning

Styles in Education. New York:

Plenum Press.

Honey, T., & Mumford, F. (1982).

Classroom Learning Styles. Harlow:

Longman Group.

Evaluating essays

1. In the first paragraph, the first sentence, the way of addressing the audience is not appropriate for an academic essay. It would be better to delete 'We all know that'.

2. Also in the first sentence, the phrase 'hot topic' is too informal. Instead you could use 'an important topic'.

3. In the second and third sentences of the first paragraph, in effective reporting verbs ('say' and 'mention') are used. These should be replaced by 'argue.

Evaluating essays: Vocabulary contd.

4. The final three sentences of the paragraph are all inappropriate in tone. They address the audience too intimately and give the writing an undesirable subjective tone.

5. In the second paragraph, second sentence, the 'rose garden' image is inappropriate - it is more suited to literary or journalistic writing. This could be rephrased very simply as 'students memories develop, but not their oral skills'.

Evaluating essays

After looking at how we should evaluate essays, please remember to check your essay accordingly next time.

You have to check your paragraph construction to see if you have included a topic sentence and provided support to it.

Evaluating essays

You also need to check your vocabulary use to see if it is appropriate to the tone and style of the essay.

Finally, check citation and referencing. APA style is the most popular style in the tertiary education sector in Hong Kong.