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HOW TO DEAL W ITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE
1
DEALING
WITH
DIFFICULT
PEOPLE
TAKE A SECOND AND CHECK YOUR STRESS RESPONSE.
WHO ARE YOU THINKING OF?
TYPES OF PEOPLE
DIFFERENT TYPES
"WELL THAT IS NOT WHAT I WAS TOLD..."
"OH YOU THINK THAT IS BAD? LET ME TELL YOU..."
"THAT IS *ACTUALLY * A GOOD IDEA!"
"WE ALWAYS DO THIS AND THEY NEVER HAVE TO.."
"WELL YOU KNOW THEY ARE JUST BEING A B*%$#..."
Undermines leadership, derails goals, waste of time and energy.
Increased mental stress, "watching your back", putting out unnecessary fires
WHAT THIS DOES
Poisons Culture, People leave
BARIERS TO CHANGE
WHY DOES IT KEEP HAPPENING?!
"I JUST CAN'T DEAL RIGHT NOW..."
"THIS IS ABOVE MY PAY GRADE"
"'I'M TOO BUSY FOR THIS BULL*&$ !"
"I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH THIS."
"I'M GOING TO SAY SOMETHING, IT WILL BE WRONG AND THEN I WILL BE IN TROUBLE!"
ANTICIPATE THE STRESS
WE ARE LEADERS NOT BOSSES
EACH OF US WERE RECOGNIZED WITH STRENGTHS AS A LEADER. NOT *JUST* A MANAGER OR SUPERVISOR.
PUTTING OUT FIRES IS A GIVEN IN OUR POSITIONS.
KNOWING HOW TO DO IT
NOT THROWING GAS ON THE FIRE
WHEN WE LEAVE WORK WE ARE NOT CHARRED AND CRISPY.
WHAT IS YOUR ROLE?
BEHAVIOR
TYPES
LOW BATTERY
Our lifeline to the world may be cut off!
When our smartphones enter the red zone, we begin searching for a place to plug them in, and if we get that “Low Battery 10% power remaining” notification, our concern veers into panic:
EXHAUSTION
What do we do when we find ourselves in the red zone of depletion? Often we push through to the point of exhaustion, making ourselves extremely vulnerable to burnout.
SELF REFLECTION
RECHARGE
Why can’t we care for ourselves with at least the same care and consideration we give our phones and take time out of our busy days to recharge?
RECHARGE
HOW ARE YOU GOING TO DO IT?
SEEK TO UNDERSTAND BEFORE WE ARE UNDERSTOOD
ACTIONS ARE REASONS AND SOMETIMES TEACHABLE MOMENTS
EMOTIONS
Emotions are highly contagious. If you’re stressed out, others you’re in contact with will also become stressed out.
COLLECT
INFO
IMPACT ON WORK
If you think self-care is unproductive, think about how difficult it is to make progress in your work when you're too tired to think.
IMPACT ON WORK
LONG HOURS
As Brigid Schulte reported in the Harvard Business Review, we get intellectual tunnel vision
Working long hours is stressful, potentially dangerous, and progressively unproductive.
-John Pencavel, Stanford, Department of Economics
and our IQ drops 13 points when we're locked in the red zone state of “sustained hecticness.”
ASK
WHY
The upside of a more human rhythm of work is found in Anders Ericsson's study of violinists, revealing that elite violinists spend more time recharging, with regular breaks and naps, than their less-than-virtuoso peers.
FIND
COMMON
GROUND
Saturday
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
REGULAR BREAKS
Meeting
Break
Test
Concert
08:00
08:30
09:00
Nap
Test
Break
09:30
10:00
10:30
Nap
11:00
BOTTOM
LINE
HOW TO RECHARGE
Here are a few tips for how to recharge and protect yourself from burnout.
For most people, adequate sleep means:
ADEQUATE SLEEP
MINIMUM
7 HOURS PER NIGHT
IDEALLY
CLOSER TO 8 HOURS
PER NIGHT
ADEQUATE SLEEP
The most critical way to recharge is through sleep.
The goal is to wake up feeling 100% fully charged, far from the red zone.
ENERGY DEFICIT
You don’t have far before you will enter the red zone of depletion.
ENERGY DEFICIT
If you're like the one-third of Americans who get
ONLY 6 HOURS OF SLEEP PER NIGHT,
you're waking up in an energy deficit.
SWISS ARMY KNIFE OF HEALTH
I believe it is now time for us to reclaim our right to a full night of sleep, and without embarrassment or that unfortunate stigma of laziness. And in doing so, we can be reunited with the most powerful elixir of life, the Swiss Army Knife of health.”
-Matt Walker, TED 2019
SWISS ARMY KNIFE OF HEALTH
FRIENDLY FACES
The next best way to recharge is by connecting face-to-face with others. One of the warning signs of approaching burnout is a disdain for work colleagues.
FRIENDLY FACES
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
The antidote for burnout is healthy relationships that require time and care, so when you sense you're becoming depleted, reach out to someone for a mutual recharge.
If you want a triple charge of wellness, go for a walk together in nature.
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
HAPPINESS
HAPPINESS
The No. 1 predictor of happiness is the quality time we spend with people we care about and who care about us, in other words, relationships.
-Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar
PHYSICAL
ACTIVITY
Physical activity and taking time for reflection round out the key pillars of well-being. Sweat is a miracle drug that bathes the brain in feel-good chemicals, grows new brain cells, treats anxiety and depression, and burns off the excess stress that can lead to burnout.
PHYSICAL
ACTIVITY
Improvements will start to occur and you will make better, more strategic use of your time.
REFLECTION
Self-awareness will increase and you will be in tune with your physical and emotional senses throughout the day sensing when
you may be nearing the red zone,
needing to take a break and recharge.
Take time for reflection and ensure that you are setting aside time for yourself.
This practice will help you guard yourself against tunneling -- the tendency to get locked into short-term tasks.