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MUSTERING THE COURAGE TO SEE IT

Chapter 4

Acknowledging reality and seeing things as they really

are allows you to escape the feelings of powerlessness

that accompany Below The Line behavior and rise

above those circumstances by addressing what you can

do to overcome challenges and obstacles.

Acknowledging Reality

Acknowledging Reality

The Victim Cycle

  • Even the most accountable people can get stuck in the victim cycle.
  • Whether you always fall Below the Line or it is a pesky problem, you must take the first step out of the victim cycle by recognizing you are stuck in a circle of denial.
  • Recognition requires the courage to acknowledge the reality of your situation no matter how unpleasant reality may seem.
  • Without acknowledgment, you can never expect to respond to it effectively.

The Victim Cycle

Deloitte & Touche

CEO Jim Copeland of Deloitte & Touche made the tough choice and separated Deloitte Consulting from Deloitte & Touche.

With this choice, the whole company took one firm step Above the Line.

Real World Example

After five hours in the conference room, the men emerged, tears in their eyes, with one simple message. The one-firm model was dead. This was a tough decision to make, but it lead the company in the right direction..

In the news, Copeland' s Houston office started to shred Enron-related documents which led Copeland to come up with the decision to face the problem head on.

In order to face the problem head on and avoid scrutiny of government investigations, Copeland gathered the major heads of the companies and got to work by locking themselves in an office until a resolution was reached.

Feedback is a Gift

Feedback is a Gift

  • You can gain great insight from frequent, regular and ongoing feedback from other people.
  • Although it can cause a great deal of pain and embarrassment at times, honest input helps create the accurate picture of reality that lies at the core of accountability.
  • Acknowledging Below the Line behavior and facing up to the reality of your situation does take courage.
  • Failure to muster the courage results in an unwillingness to pay the price for greater accountability and results.

Let's Play Frustration

  • We will separate you into 3 groups of 4-5 players.
  • Choose one person in your group to be the person who will be blindfolded.
  • Then, the teammate will then put on the blindfold.
  • The goal is to get as many M&M's/Marshmallows out of the bowl and moved to the empty bowl in 3 minutes using only the chopsticks. The teammate you chose must remain blindfolded and can only use the chopsticks to pick up the M&M's/Marshmallows. You can't touch or move the bowls. You have to help your teammate by instructing them.
  • Marshmallows = 1 point
  • M&M's = 5 points

Activity

Observations

Observations

  • To us, some tasks may seem impossible and feel as though we are in the dark and just want to complain. In order to rise Above the Line, you have to acknowledge reality and take accountability.
  • Those who stepped up to be the teammate blindfolded had the courage to acknowledge the reality of a difficult situation.
  • Feedback can be everything. It can guide you through situations you are not prepared for. By opening up and taking feedback, you are acknowledging reality and stepping Above the Line.

Perceptions of Reality

Perceptions of Reality

  • You can gain great insight from frequent, regular, and ongoing feedback from other people.
  • Since no one individual can mandate a perfectly accurate description of reality, you must draw from many other people's perceptions to imbue your reality with the deepest possible understanding of its many hues and shades.
  • Remember, other people's perceptions of reality, whether you agree with them or not, always add important nuances to your own perception.
  • The more perspectives you obtain, the more easily you can recognize when you're stuck Below the Line, more Above the Line, and then encourage others to do likewise.

Feedback Creates Accountability

1. Ask for feedback in the right environment (a comfortable, quiet place free from interruptions and distractions).

2. Tell the person whom you're seeking feedback that you want completely honest input about a particular situation or concern.

3. Remember, the feedback you're requesting represents an important point of view, so don't get defensive, even if you strongly disagree with something the person says.

4. Listen carefully and ask for elaboration, but be sure not to invalidate feedback offhandedly with which you disagree.

5. Make sure you express your appreciation for your adviser's time and help.

The Key is Courage

The Key is Courage

  • The Oz's Lion symbolizes the first dimension of accountability, mustering the courage to see reality. Dorothy would need to understand all four dimension of accountability before she would fully understand that only she could rise above her circumstances and return to Kansas.
  • By having the courage to face your own reality and admit you can improve, you take the journey to improving yourself and taking a step Above the Line.

Perfect Square

Activity

  • In this activity, you will be in the same teams as before and have to form a perfect square while blindfolded.
  • Get with your group and stand in a circle. In the middle of your circle will be your rope.
  • Each participant then puts on their blindfold. The task is to work together to form a square while blindfolded.
  • When your team thinks you have formed a perfect square, say "Perfect Square".
  • Participants can then take off their blindfolds and see the final result.

Observations & Questions

  • What problems did you encounter during the challenge?
  • Did you identify a leader? How was leadership demonstrated during the challenge?
  • How well did you communicate during the challenge?
  • What did you learn from the challenge?

Questions

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