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An Introduction to Alternative Relationship Models

Definition of Alternative Relationship Models

Definition

What are Alternative Relationship Models?

Alternative relationship models are non-traditional ways of structuring romantic or intimate relationships, often based on principles such as non-monogamy, consensual non-exclusivity, or egalitarianism.

What are alternative relationship models?

Why are alternative relationships becoming so popular?

Alternative relationships are becoming popular due to increased social acceptance, greater awareness and discussion of non-traditional relationship models, and a desire for greater autonomy and flexibility in intimate relationships.

Why are they becoming more popular?

What are the Potential Benefits & Challenges of Alternative Relationships?

Benefits & Challenges

Benefits of alternative relationships

Benefits

  • Increased autonomy and flexibility in relationship dynamics.
  • Opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery through exploration of non-traditional relationship models.
  • Increased opportunities for intimate connection and emotional fulfillment.
  • Greater awareness and communication around boundaries and expectations.
  • More diverse and inclusive forms of romantic and sexual expression.

Challenges of alternative relationships

Challenges

  • Stigma and lack of social acceptance, which can lead to discrimination, marginalization, and isolation.
  • Complex emotional dynamics and potential for jealousy, insecurity, and conflict.
  • Difficulties in negotiating and communicating boundaries and expectations.
  • Risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) due to multiple partners.
  • Legal and societal obstacles, such as lack of legal recognition and protection for non-traditional relationship structures.

The Types of Alternative Relationship Models

Types of relationships

Polyamory Relationship

Polyamory

A Primer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IzcpH-CLkM This video is a good introduction to polyamory, explaining what it is, why people choose it, and some of the benefits and challenges.

Definition & Characteristics of Polyamory Relationships

Definition & Characteristics

Definition: A form of consensual non-monogamy that allows individuals to have multiple romantic and/or sexual relationships simultaneously.

Characteristics: Emphasis on communication, transparency, and consent among all parties involved.

Reference: Anapol, D. (2010). Polyamory in the 21st century: Love and intimacy with multiple partners. Rowman & Littlefield Publishers.

How polyamory works in practice

How it works

Consensual non-monogamous relationships based on communication, transparency, and mutual agreement among all partners.

Reference: Sheff, E. (2014). The polyamorists next door: Inside multiple-partner relationships and families. Rowman & Littlefield Publishers.

Potential Benefits & Challenges of Polyamory Relationships

Benefits & Challenges

Benefits: Increased emotional support, diverse experiences, more love and intimacy.

Challenges: Jealousy, time management, societal stigma.

Reference: Barker, M. (2017). Rewriting the rules: An integrative guide to love, sex and relationships. Routledge.

Open Relationship

Open Relationship

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YP5qyldjr4 This video provides an overview of open relationships, including their defining characteristics and some of the benefits and challenges

Definition & Characteristics of Open Relationships

Definition & Characteristics

Definition: A relationship in which partners are allowed to have sexual and/or romantic relationships with people outside of the relationship.

Characteristics: Requires honest communication, boundary-setting, and consent.

Reference: Barker, M. (2018). Rewriting the rules: An integrative guide to love, sex and relationships. Routledge.

How Open Relationships work in practice

Partners engage in romantic and/or sexual relationships with other people outside of the relationship, with a focus on honesty and consent.

Reference: Conley, T. D., Moors, A. C., Matsick, J. L., & Ziegler, A. (2013). The fewer the merrier? Assessing stigma surrounding consensually non-monogamous romantic relationships. Analyses of Social Issues and Public Policy, 13(1), 1-30.

How it works

Potential Benefits & Challenges of Open Relationships

Benefits & Challenges

Benefits: Freedom to explore and express, potential for growth and self-discovery.

Challenges: Jealousy, insecurity, communication difficulties.

Reference: Moors, A. C., Conley, T. D., Edelstein, R. S., & Chopik, W. J. (2014). Attached to monogamy? Avoidance predicts willingness to engage (but not actual engagement) in consensual non-monogamy. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 31(3), 298-326.

Swinging

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKjJlW5iuJw This video explains what swinging is, how it works in practice, and some of the benefits and challenges.

Swinging

Definition & Characteristics of Swinging

Definition & Characteristics

Definition: A form of consensual non-monogamy in which partners agree to engage in sexual activities with others as a couple.

Characteristics: Focus on sexual exploration and experimentation as a couple.

Reference: Gould, R. (2013). The lifestyle: A look at the erotic rites of swingers. University of Michigan Press.

How Swinging works in practice

Couples engage in sexual activities with other couples or individuals, often in the context of social events or parties.

Reference: Jenks, R. J., & Milrod, C. (2018). Swinging: A review of the literature. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 47(2), 377-394.

How it works

Potential Benefits & Challenges of Swinging

Benefits & Challenges

Benefits: New experiences and sexual variety, potential for enhanced communication and trust.

Challenges: Jealousy, managing multiple relationships, societal stigma.

Reference: Lehmiller, J. J., & Agnew, C. R. (2006). Marginalized relationships: The impact of social disapproval on romantic relationship commitment. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 32(1), 40-51.

Polyfidelity

Polyfidelity

Definition & Characteristics of Polyfidelity

Definition & Characteristics

Definition: A form of non-monogamy in which partners agree to be sexually and/or romantically exclusive to a specific group of people.

Characteristics: Emphasis on building a deep emotional connection with a small group of partners.

Reference: Veaux, F., & Rickert, E. (2014). More than two: A practical guide to ethical polyamory. Thorntree Press.

How Polyfidelity works in practice

How it works

A closed group of individuals maintain exclusive sexual and/or romantic relationships with one another, with a focus on building deep emotional connections.

Reference: Veaux, F., & Rickert, E. (2014). More than two: A practical guide to ethical polyamory. Thorntree Press.

Potential Benefits & Challenges of Polyfidelity

Benefits & Challenges

Benefits: Deep emotional connections, increased emotional support, exclusivity within a group.

Challenges: Managing multiple relationships, time and energy management, potential for conflict.

Reference: Veaux, F., & Rickert, E. (2014). More than two: A practical guide to ethical polyamory. Thorntree Press.

Relationship Anarchy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leEzjK6J4G8 This video explores the concept of relationship anarchy, its defining characteristics, and some of the benefits and challenges

Relationship Anarchy

Definition & Characteristics of Relationship Anarchy

Definition & Characteristics

Definition: A philosophy that rejects the societal norms and rules around relationships, and emphasizes the importance of individual autonomy and freedom in forming relationships.

Characteristics: No set rules or expectations around relationships, and a focus on creating connections based on individual needs and desires.

Reference: Easton, D., & Hardy, J. W. (2017). The ethical slut: A practical guide to polyamory, open relationships, and other adventures. Ten Speed Press.

How Relationship Anarchy works in practice

How it works

Rejecting traditional relationship norms and creating connections based on individual desires and needs, with a focus on autonomy and freedom.

Reference: Easton, D., & Hardy, J. W. (2017). The ethical slut: A practical guide to polyamory, open relationships, and other adventures. Ten Speed Press.

Potential Benefits & Challenges of Relationship Anarchy

Benefits & Challenges

Benefits: Autonomy, freedom, creating individualized connections.

Challenges: Lack of societal structure and support, communication difficulties, navigating multiple connections.

Reference: Easton, D., & Hardy, J. W. (2017). The ethical slut: A practical guide to polyamory, open relationships, and other adventures. Ten Speed Press.

Solo Polyamory

Solo Polyamory

Definition & Characteristics of Solo Polyamory

Definition & Characteristics

Definition: A form of non-monogamy in which an individual maintains multiple intimate relationships, but does not prioritize creating a traditional, cohabiting partnership.

Characteristics: Focus on independence, autonomy, and building relationships based on individual desires and needs.

Reference: Winston, A. (2020). Solo polyamory: The art of loving boldly. Thorntree Press.

How Solo Polyamory Works in practice

How it works

Maintaining multiple intimate relationships without prioritizing a traditional, cohabiting partnership, with a focus on independence and autonomy.

Reference: Winston, A. (2020). Solo polyamory: The art of loving boldly. Thorntree Press.

Potential Benefits & Challenges of Solo Polyamory

Benefits & Challenges

Benefits: Independence, autonomy, ability to prioritize personal goals and needs.

Challenges: Navigating societal expectations, potential for loneliness, communication difficulties.

Reference: Winston, A. (2020). Solo polyamory: The art of loving boldly. Thorntree Press.

Asexual Relationships

Asexual Relationships

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHgMk8pZmFM This video provides an introduction to asexuality and aromanticism, including what these terms mean, how they are experienced, and some common misconceptions.

Definition & Characteristics of Asexual Relationships

Definition & Characteristics

Definition: A relationship in which one or more partners identify as asexual and may not experience sexual attraction or desire.

Characteristics: Focus on emotional intimacy, communication, and finding alternative ways to express intimacy.

Reference: Bogaert, A. F. (2015). Understanding asexuality. Rowman & Littlefield Publishers.

How Asexual Relationships work in practice

How it works

Building intimate relationships without a focus on sexual activity, with a focus on emotional intimacy and finding alternative ways to express intimacy.

Reference: Decker, B. K. (2014). Asexuality and sexual orientation: Two distinct concepts. The Oxford handbook of sexual identity.

Potential Benefits & Challenges of Asexual Relationships

Benefits & Challenges

Benefits: Focus on emotional intimacy, alternative expressions of intimacy, building deep connections without pressure for sex.

Challenges: Navigating societal expectations, potential for mismatched desires, communication difficulties.

Reference: Scherrer, K. S., & Puhl, R. M. (2017). Sexual minority stigma and health: The relationship between experienced stigma and health outcomes among sexual minorities. Journal of Health Psychology, 22(11), 1449-1463.

Communication and Boundaries in Alternative Relationships

Communcation and Boundaries

The Importance of Communication in Alternative Relationships

Communication is essential in alternative relationships to establish and maintain healthy relationships, manage jealousy and conflicts, and ensure consent. (Barker, 2017)

The importance of communication

How to Establish and Maintain Clear Boundaries in Alternative Relationships

How to establish boundaries

To establish and maintain clear boundaries in alternative relationships, partners should have open and honest communication, regularly check in with each other, respect each other's needs and limits, and be willing to renegotiate boundaries when necessary. (Veaux & Rickert, 2014)

Common Communication and Boundary Issues in Alternative Relationships

Common Issues

  • Miscommunication about relationship expectations
  • Mismatched expectations between partners
  • Difficulty managing multiple relationships
  • Insecurity and jealousy
  • Challenges in negotiating and enforcing boundaries
  • Lack of clarity around roles and responsibilities
  • Issues with disclosure and transparency
  • Cultural or societal stigma and discrimination
  • Power imbalances in relationships

Reference: Easton, D., & Hardy, J. W. (2017). The ethical slut: A practical guide to polyamory, open relationships, and other adventures. Ten Speed Press.

References

References

  • Algonquin College. Sexuality and Gender Studies. Module 6 Notes
  • Barker, M. (2015). Rewriting the rules: An integrative guide to love, sex, and relationships. Routledge.
  • Conley, T. D., Moors, A. C., Matsick, J. L., & Ziegler, A. (2013). The fewer the merrier? Assessing stigma surrounding consensually non-monogamous romantic relationships. Analyses of Social Issues and Public Policy, 13(1), 1-30.
  • Haupert, M. L., Gesselman, A. N., Moors, A. C., Fisher, H. E., & Garcia, J. R. (2017). Prevalence of experiences with consensual non-monogamous relationships: Findings from two nationally representative samples of single Americans. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 43(5), 424-440.
  • Sheff, E. (2017). The polyamorists next door: Inside multiple-partner relationships and families. Rowman & Littlefield.

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