Ibang-Tao (outsider) and Hindi-Ibang-Tao (‘‘one-of-us’’)
STAGES AND MANNERS OF SOCIAL INTERACTION IN FILIPINOS
Pakikitungo
(transaction/civility with)
pakikitungo
Your first encounter with your neighbor may perhaps happen when you start doing your chores. When you need to buy something from a nearby sari-sari store, you get to interact with the seller in the lowest form of social interacion, pakikitungo. Your interaction with the seller is said to be at the levels of convenience--- being civil with him or her in order to get the transaction done.
Pakikisalamuha
pakikisalamuha
While, pakikisalamuha needs longer interaction. This level comprises a longer time for conversation, particularly introduction and certain amounts of "small talk". When you saw a new person living in your neighborhood, you will ofcourse ask something about him/her. This will go on by asking their names, who are they with, why did he/she moves, and other casual topics.
Pakikilahok
(joining/participating with)
pakikilahok
Some villages or subdivisons have Homeowners' Association where there are activities prepared by the officers, according to what they have decided on as a whole in that village after series of meetings. Being a part of those conferences or assemblies makes you a participant. Joining or participating is vital for pakikipagkapuwa.
Pakikibagay
(in-conformity with/inaccord with)
In pakikibagay, as a part of a village or subdivision, an example would be you paying the monthly dues as your way of conforming to the Homeowners' aim for a better companionship.
pakikibagay
Pakikisama
pakikisama
Pakikisama takes conformity one step further by not only following another person's lead, but also placing what other people want over your own preference. An example in a village or barangay setting would be when you participated with your street neighbors in a street fiesta decoration contest. You are now getting along with them as you compete and enjoy the process.
Pakikipagpalagayan/Pakikipagpalagayang-loob
(being in-rapport/understanding/ acceptance with)
pakikipag-palagayang loob
This is an act of mutual trust---you have already built rapport and a level of understanding which allows you to accept each other as you are. When you go out of townand no one's at your house, even though you secured it, you will ask for your neighbors to look for it---this shows pakikipagpalagayang loob because you are now putting your trust into them and hopes for them to really look for your house with care and concern.
Pakikisangkot
pakikisangkot
Pakikisangkot is a level wherein you join in another person's activities, no longer as an outsider, but as a friend. This entails a conscious decison on your part to be actively involved with another person's life. When your neighbor lost their pet dog, you will voluntarily help to find it. You will also go around the vicinity to check where his/her dog is. You may also post it to let your facebook friends know about it---this shows your involvement.
Pakikiisa
pakikiisa
The highest level of Pakikipagkapuwa is Pakikiisa or being one with others. This shows how one can get to the deepest part of other person through interaction that continues with deeper relationship--- love and warmth, even intimacy.
" A friend to all is a friend to none"
It is natural to every one to be really close only to select a few. We cannot be close or "one with everyone" that we meet.
Forming Values
SUMMARY
Ibang Tao ("Outsider")
1. Pakikitungo (transaction/civility with)
2. Pakikisalamuha (interaction with)
3. Pakikilahok (joining/participating with)
4. Pakikibagay (in-coformity with/in accord with)
5. Pakikisama (being along with)
Hindi Ibang Tao ("One-of-us")
6. Pakikipagpalagayan/Pakikipagpalagayang-loob (being in rapport with/understanding/ acceptance with)
7. Pakikisangkot (getting involved with)
8. Pakikiisa (Being one with)