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Transcript

Active

Listening

Active Listening

Introduction

Presenters: Sharmeen and Tenzin

Activity

Broken Telephone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FLgShtdxQ8

Debrief and Input from Activity

-How was that experience/how did you feel it went?

-What strategies did you utilize to help pass the message successfully?

-What active listening strategies could help next time?

Debrief

Background

Importance of Active Listening

-Assists with hearing others message clearly

  • E.g., sports event, emergency room, quiet client and gymnasium

-Creates positive impressions for strong relationships

Real vs Pseudo Listening

  • True listening is based on the intention to do one of these things:

1. Understand someone

2. Enjoy someone

3. Learn something

4. Give help or solace

  • Listening comes naturally if you want to listen

Real vs Pseuo Listening

Pseudo Listening vs Real Listening

  • The intention is not to listen, but to meet another need
  • Everyone pseudo listens
  • Problems only arise if you pseudo listen more than you real listen
  • The more real listening you do, the better your relationships feel

Differences between Real and Pseudo Listening

Question 1:

Question 1

Are there certain people in your life that you find are easier or harder to listen to? What is it about them that makes it easier or hard to listen to?

Blocks to Listening

-12 Blocks to listening

-Purpose: Increase awareness of application of blocks to the real world

Blocks to Listening

Comparing

-Constant unrelated thoughts from the conversation

  • Thoughts of who's smarter, earns more, more competent in the room right now

Comparing

Mind Reading

  • A distrust towards speaker

  • Assuming others feelings towards you and your capabilities
  • E.g., “they think I'm stupid”

  • Distracts from listening

Mind Reading

Question 2:

Question 2

How can mind reading benefit or harm your success in the workplace?

Rehearsing

  • Preparing and crafting responses

  • Trying to make a point

  • E.g.: Preparing to share diagnosis with client and their reaction

Filtering

  • Selective listening

  • Enough to hear if it is serious or not

  • To avoid negative memories

Judging

  • Reacting and not listening

  • Uses prejudice to label speaker
  • Can be harmful to others reputation and emotions

  • Listen to entirety of message

Judging

Placating

  • To please others and avoid conflict -Ignores reality of what's being said
  • Uses terms such as “right… of course… absolutely”

Placating & Being Right

Being Right

  • Avoid receiving criticism and corrections
  • Stunts emotional and cognitive growth

Dreaming

  • Triggered by connections with topic

  • More likely when bored or anxious

  • Indicates lack of interest and commitment to person speaking

Identifying

  • Everything the person says reminds you of your own experience
  • Takes attention away from the speaker

Identifying& Advising

Advising

  • Immediately trying to solve a problem
  • Increases risk of misdiagnosis by missing critical cues

Sparring

  • Constantly debating
  • Puts others down and dismisses their ideas
  • Discounting: devaluing one's own skills when complimented

Sparring & Derailing

Derailing

  • Suddenly changing topic
  • Often during uncomfortable discussions

Assessing Your Listening Blocks

  • It is very likely that there are some that apply to you
  • Certain people elicit specific listening blocks
  • e.g. spar with your mother, derail with a friend, placate and rehearse with your boss

Assessing Your Listening Blocks

Question 3:

Question 3

  • Are there any listening blocks you find yourself using in your placement?

  • Are there certain people that you use specific listening blocks with?

Four Steps to Effective Listening

Four Steps to Effective Listening

Active Listening

-Full engagement in a discussion

  • Paraphrasing
  • State message in your own words to show understanding

  • Clarifying
  • Ask questions until message is clear

  • Giving Feedback
  • Immediate, honest and supportive comments about speach

Active Listening

Question 4

How have you demonstrated and utilized active listening in the workplace to ensure proper communication with your supervisor, counterpart, or clients?

Listening with Empathy

  • Your ability to listen naturally decreases if someone is angry, critical, or wallowing in self-pity
  • If you find listening with empathy difficult ask yourself:
  • What need is the (for example: anger) coming from?
  • What danger is the person experiencing?
  • What are they asking for?

Listening with Empathy

Listening with Openness

  • Judging results in not properly hearing what is said
  • Everyone has trouble with listening openly
  • Beliefs are tied to self-esteem
  • Exercise known as, reversal
  • With someone you trust
  • Select an old disagreement
  • State sides, then reverse to argue for opposite side
  • Share what you experienced
  • Most important rule: hear the whole statement before judging!

Listening with Openness

Listening with Awareness

  • 2 components to listening with awareness:

1) Compare what's being said to to your own knowledge (without judgement)

2) Hear and observe congruence

  • Does this person's tone of voice, emphasis, facial expression, and posture fit with the content of his or her communication?

Listening with Awareness

Question 5:

Total Listening

What are some stratgies you use to let people know that you are listening to them?

Total Listening

  • Physcial and active cues to indicate you are fully engaged in the conversation
  • Lean forward
  • Clarifying
  • Remove distractions

Total Listening

Reciprocal Communication

  • Creates an environment where you really hear one another
  • Can be used with any conflict
  • Slows communication down
  • Take turns being speaker and listener
  • Switch after 5 minutes

Reciprocal

Communication

Conclusion

  • We all pseudo listen and use listening blocks
  • Key to effectively listen
  • Active listening
  • Listen with empathy
  • Listen with openness
  • Listen with awareness

Conclusion

Kahoot Link:

https://play.kahoot.it/v2/?quizId=23afe4ac-3b06-4dd0-9d6f-67dd38322d6e

Kahoot

Thank you!

Thank you!

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