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She thought: "If I could only be sure that at bottom it's just Brazil."
She thought : "Whatever It is, if I only knew what it was, I could manage it."
Brian again. Unhappy, restless, withdrawn. And she, who had prided herself on knowing his moods, their causes and their remedies, had found it first unthinkable, and then intolerable, that this, so like and yet so unlike those other spasmodic restlessnesses of his, should be to her incomprehensible and elusive. (214)
Remember that we got a glimpse of Irene and Brian's marriage life in Part Two, and things aren't entirely amicable between the two. Irene worries that Brian holds resentment toward her for not letting them move to Brazil. Then, things got ugly when Junior getting in trouble as school, his behavior worrying Irene, but Brian thinking boys will be boys.
"Well, then, all I can say is that you take it wrongly. Nobody admires Clare more than I do, for the kind of intelligence she has, as well as for her decorative qualities. But she's not — She isn't — She hasn't — Oh, I can't explain it. Take Bianca, for example, or, to keep to the race, Felise Freeland. Looks and brains. Real brains that can hold their own with anybody. Clare has got brains of a sort, the kind that are useful too. Acquisitive, you know. But she'd bore a man like Hugh to suicide. Still, I never thought that even Clare would come to
a private party to which she hadn't been asked. But, it's like her."
For a minute there was silence. She completed the bright red arch of her full lips. Brian moved towards the door. His hand was on the knob. He said: "I'm sorry, Irene. It's my fault entirely. She seemed so hurt at being left out that I told her I was sure you'd forgotten and to just come along."
Irene cried out: "But, Brian, I — " and stopped, amazed at the fierce anger that had blazed up In her.
Brian's head came round with a jerk. His brows lifted In an odd surprise.
Her voice, she realized, had gone queer. But she had an Instinctive feeling that It hadn't been the whole cause of his attitude. And that little straightening motion of the shoulders. Hadn't It been like that of a man drawing himself up to receive a blow? Her fright was like a scarlet spear of terror leaping at her heart.
Clare Kendry! So that was It! Impossible. It couldn't be. (216-217)
In the room beyond, a clock chimed. A single sound. Fifteen minutes past five o'clock. That was all ! And yet in the short space of half an hour all of life had changed, lost its colour, Its vividness, its whole meaning. No,
she reflected, it wasn't that that had happened. Life about her, apparently, went on exactly as before.
"Oh, Mrs. Runyon. ... So nice to see you. . . . Two? . . . Really? . . . How exciting! . . . Yes, I think Tuesday's all
right. . . ."
Yes, life went on precisely as before. It was only she that had changed. Knowing, stumbling on this thing, had changed her. It was as If In a house long dim, a match had been struck, showing ghastly shapes where had been only blurred shadows.
Chatter, chatter, chatter. Someone asked her a question. She glanced up with what she felt was a rigid smile.
"Yes . . . Brian picked it up last winter in Haiti. Terribly weird, isn't it? ... It is rather marvelous in its own hideous way. . . . Practically nothing, I believe. A few cents. . . ."
Hideous. A great weariness came over her. Even the small exertion of pouring golden tea into thin old cups seemed almost too much for her. She went on pouring. Made repetitions of her smile. (218-219)
Trying to host a lovely tea party, Irene is also trying to uphold the image that she comes from a lovely home and a lovely family, with her lovely husband.
Consider this part in particular: "Yes, life went on precisely as before. It was only she that had changed. Knowing, stumbling on this thing, had changed her."
Might a similar sentiment (possibly the same, in the right context) apply to Clare in her passing as white: knowing something that might horribly change your life, which continues to go on for everyone else unaware of this knowledge.
Irene is trying to pass as someone with no problems in her life, something everyone can relate to, but not everyone can with racial passing. In this context, is Clare's passing any different than Irene's passing?
Rage boiled up in her.
There was a slight crash. On the floor at her feet lay the shattered cup. Dark stains dotted the bright rug. Spread. The chatter stopped. Went on. Before her, Zulena gathered up the white fragments.
As from a distance Hugh Wentworth's clipt voice came to her, though he was, she was aware, somehow miraculously at her side. "Sorry," he apologized. "Must have pushed you. Clumsy of me. Don't tell me it's priceless and irreplaceable."
It hurt. Dear God! How the thing hurt! But she couldn't think of that now. Not with Hugh sitting there mumbling apologies and lies. The significance of his words, the power of his discernment, stirred in her a sense of caution. Her pride revolted. Damn Hugh! Something would have to be done about him. Now. She couldn't, it seemed, help his knowing. It was too late for that. But she could and would keep him from knowing that she knew. She could, she would bear it. She'd have to. There were the boys. Her whole body went taut. In that second she saw that she could bear anything, but only if no one knew that she had anything to bear. It hurt. It frightened her, but she could bear it.
She turned to Hugh. Shook her head. Raised innocent dark eyes to his concerned pale ones. "Oh, no," she protested, "you didn't push me. Cross your heart, hope to die, and I'll tell you how it happened."
''Done!"
"Did you notice that cup? Well, you're lucky. It was the ugliest thing that your ancestors, the charming Confederates ever owned.
I've forgotten how many thousands of years ago It was that Brian's great-great-grand-uncle owned it. But It has, or had, a good old hoary history. It was brought North by way of the subway. Oh, all right ! Be English if you want to and call It the underground. What I'm coming to is the fact that I've never figured out a way of getting rid of It until about five minutes ago. I had an inspiration. I had only to break it, and I was rid of it for ever. So simple! And
I'd never thought of it before."
Hugh nodded and his frosty smile spread over his features. Had she convinced him?
"Still," she went on with a little laugh that didn't, she was sure, sound the least bit forced, "I'm perfectly willing for you to take the blame and admit that you pushed me at the wrong moment. What are friends for, if not to help bear our sins? Brian will certainly be told that it was your fault.
"More tea, Clare? ... I haven't had a minute with you. . . . Yes, it is a nice party. . . . You'll stay to dinner, I hope. . . . Oh, too bad! . . . I'll be alone with the boys. . . . They'll be sorry. Brian's got a medical meeting, or something. . . . Nice frock you're wearing. . . Thanks. . . . Well, good-bye; see you soon, I hope."
The clock chimed. One. Two, Three. Four. Five. Six. Was It, could it be, only a little over an hour since she had come down to tea? One little hour.[...]
It hurt. It hurt like hell. But it didn't matter, if no one knew. If everything could go on as before. If the boys were safe.
It did hurt.
But it didn't matter. (221-222)
There is heavy foreshadowing on the ending in this passage that helps clarify ("Clare-ify") a lot of the ambiguity. Try to see what all from this passage you can use to connect to the final moments of the novella.
Once again, consider how the closing words to the chapter might also apply to Clare:
"It hurt. It hurt like hell. But it didn't matter, if no one knew. If everything could go on as before. If the boys were safe.
It did hurt.
But it didn't matter."
A sudden bluster flung them around the corner with unexpected quickness and they collided with a man.
"Pardon," Irene begged laughingly, and looked up Into the face of Clare Kendry's husband.
"Mrs. Redfield!"
His hat came off. He held out his hand, smiling genially.
But the smile faded at once. Surprise, incredulity, and — was it understanding? — passed over his features.
He had, Irene knew, become conscious of Felise, golden, with curly black Negro hair, whose arm was still linked in her own. She was sure, now, of the understanding in his face, as he looked at her again and then back at Felise. And displeasure.
He didn't, however, withdraw his outstretched hand. Not at once.
But Irene didn't take it. Instinctively, in the first glance of recognition, her face had become a mask. Now she turned on him a totally uncomprehending look, a bit questioning. Seeing that he still stood with hand outstretched, she gave him the cool appraising stare which she reserved for mashers, and drew Felise on.
Felise drawled: "Aha! Been 'passing,' have you? Well, I've queered that."
"Yes, I'm afraid you have."
"Why, Irene Redfield! You sound as if you cared terribly. I'm sorry."
"I do, but not for the reason you think.
I don't believe I've ever gone native in my life except for the sake of convenience, restaurants, theatre tickets, and things like that. Never socially I mean, except once. You've just passed the only person that I've ever met disguised as a white woman."
"Awfully sorry. Be sure your sin will find you out and all that. Tell me about it." (226-227)
Passing Clarity
Consider some of the following evidence to decide what happened.
Irene leaned forward, cold and tense. 'And what about Margery?' Her voice was a strained whisper.
'Margery?' Clare repeated, leting her eyes flutter over Irene's concerned face. 'Just this, 'Rene. If it wasn't for her, I'd do it anyway. She's all that holds me back. But if Jack finds out, if our marriage is broken, that lets me out. Doesn't it?'" (234).